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  #16  
Old 06-02-2024, 05:24 AM
broy broy is offline
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With this being a happy occasion, I would try to approach it as a 'get to' situation vs a 'have to'. When you get to do something, you have a hankerin' for it to happen - and I say ride the wave of emotions to say those beautiful things to your daughter on a day it will mean most... enjoy, good luck.
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  #17  
Old 06-02-2024, 07:18 AM
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Mr. Jelly Mr. Jelly is offline
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Why? The whole purpose is to be emotional and you, for some reason, are trying to minimize the emotion. The best part would be you breaking up. What other purpose would this performance be about?
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  #18  
Old 06-02-2024, 08:05 AM
rmp rmp is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Slothead56 View Post
I’ve been playing in front of people for 50 years so I don’t anticipate performance butterflies, but the lyrics I wrote are still resonating with my heart.

Any tips on how to handle to most emotional performance of my life?
Just go into "Performance" mode. Don't make any eye contact with anyone.

I was asked to play a song at my brother inlaws funeral Mass.

"Sure, No problem!"

So I set the arrangement up, (I'll See You Again) and I was good to go.

sitting in the front row of the church I was a bit oblivious to the fact that the building was standing room only. When I turned around after shouldering my guitar, I'd have to guess over 350 ppl.

I went into performance mode, made no eye contact, took a deep breath, set my tempo in my head, and started playing.

It was over in what felt like 5 seconds. I sat back down and only then did my hands start to tremble a bit.

I've played hundreds of gigs over my time as a performing musician. This one time it was a different.

you'll do it, it will be a beautiful moment in the celebration.
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  #19  
Old 06-02-2024, 08:27 AM
Bowie Bowie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Jelly View Post
Why? The whole purpose is to be emotional and you, for some reason, are trying to minimize the emotion. The best part would be you breaking up. What other purpose would this performance be about?
I believe the purpose is to deliver a song and let the AUDIENCE feel emotions. If it were just to behave emotionally they could do it in a speech, which would allow for all pausing, crying, etc. I get the impression they don't want to do that in the song which is why they came here for advice. I completely get it.

One doesn't need to be emotional to give an emotional performance and emotion itself causes a worse performance. Do you want the audience to feel what you are saying because you performed a meaningful song? Or, do you want their feelings to be sympathy for you because you are flubbing a song? They will not notice the lyrics if the focal point becomes you choking up during a performance. This isn't like Clapton doing Tears in Heaven, this is the first time the audience is hearing the song so the content delivery is important.
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  #20  
Old 06-05-2024, 04:54 PM
Slothead56 Slothead56 is offline
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OP here….
Really appreciate all the feedback and suggestions. I’ve sung it twice for my wife, asked my neighbors to come down and listen so I could do it for other people and have sung it probably 50 times in the past couple days including in front of a mirror, with pictures of my daughter in front of me and in an interior bathroom without the light on (one of my favorites places to rehearse new stuff. Pitch black creates focus).

Feeling pretty good about this right now and will report in after the wedding!
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  #21  
Old 06-10-2024, 07:16 AM
Slothead56 Slothead56 is offline
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OP again….
Well, the wedding was a complete success. The kids are official after 10 years of dating and the family was all in town, including my two sons who traveled from California and Florida with my daughter-in-law, my two grandkids, my younger sons girlfriend.

I made a few remarks about the bride and groom and started in to the song. I got about halfway and the emotion hit hard. I did manage to choke through the song, a few tears flowing and my voice cracking a bit but made it through. I was not looking at any of our guests, and especially not at the couple, but I got plenty of feedback that everyone was moved to tears by the lyrics and “performance”….certainly the intended effect as the song was deeply personal.

Three minutes to perform a song that took 29 years to write.

My family, all ten of us, are at the beach for a couple days and I’ll play it again for my daughter and new son-in-law sometime before they leave for their honeymoon, this time with a smile on my face and no tears, but certainly with the same joy and happiness which I feel as a Father to such an incredible kid.

Appreciate everyone feedback….
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  #22  
Old 06-10-2024, 07:24 AM
rmp rmp is offline
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Nice! happy to hear that the desired effect was achieved!

I know how hard it is to pull this kind of thing off.

And now you can put that whole "elevated emotion" part in the rear view!

This song will always have a special meaning but it will never be quite the heavy lift it was at the wedding.

have fun at the beach, sounds like a very special and fun time.
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  #23  
Old 06-10-2024, 06:51 PM
Deliberate1 Deliberate1 is offline
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Congrats on the "performance" of a lifetime.

David
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  #24  
Old 06-11-2024, 07:46 PM
Gordon Currie Gordon Currie is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Slothead56 View Post
I made a few remarks about the bride and groom and started in to the song. I got about halfway and the emotion hit hard. I did manage to choke through the song, a few tears flowing and my voice cracking a bit but made it through.
If, as Victor Hugo said, ""Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent" then you communicated something significant and powerful to all present.

The moment transcended any flubs and tear-stained notes and will likely be treasured by your family.

Well played!
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  #25  
Old 06-12-2024, 09:30 PM
Pine Cone Pine Cone is offline
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I am very glad you had a successful performance at your daughter's wedding.

A live performance of a heartfelt song which you wrote and performed live will be remembered and cherished by all that were there.

I would guess that for you it might be one of your greatest and most satisfying performances of your life.
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  #26  
Old 06-13-2024, 12:37 AM
Jimbo00 Jimbo00 is offline
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Not sure the butterflies would be the same as emotional for me. Think of it as you still have your daughter as Daddy's little girl all grown up in a proud moment of the next stage of her life, but also gaining a son in law in that same moment. You should be able to hold it together & get thru that 3 minutes. And when the song ends, that's when the moment should be their's, step aside and enjoy the rest of the reception after your song, it's really more a gift to them as newlyweds instead of a traditional toast.
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  #27  
Old 06-16-2024, 09:52 AM
Glennwillow Glennwillow is offline
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Wow... That is a tough challenge, but good for you for pulling it off, tears and all. You will be remembered for this effort, for sure. Well done!

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