The imposter complex

[wguitar]

Originally Posted by DukeX

I keep my guitar life simple. I play what I want on the guitars I want to play. I just do my own thing and don't worry about it.

IMHO DukeX is SPOT ON -- I've only been doing solo gigs within the past year, with open mics and encouragement from friends and family being key. Lots of free advice from friends who told me that to get gigs I need to learn more current songs and do what they do. Well, I do mostly 50's - 80's "oldies" because I LIKE OLDIES, and I've gotta be me. I just do my own thing and don't worry about it. As a result, I'm having a blast, play about one gig a month (which is all want to do), and proud of the musical resume I'm building ! I'm just an average player with an average voice -- enjoying retirement! THANKS for a GREAT post Duke X ! Cheers!

[puggy]

There's a local performer who plays solo backed by a raft of electronics ( backing tracks, drum machine etc).

I quickly realised that, although he didn't actually promote it, the impression given was that he was ripping out those Mark Knopfler et al solos during the song when actually be was just strumming rhythm, letting the backing track carry the tune.

I initially felt somewhat ripped off by this until I looked around and realised that the vast majority of the crowd neither knew nor cared about the technicalities of the
performance, they were just enjoying hearing some banging tunes being played live in the pub.

Was he an imposter? Umm, still undecided.......

[Silly Moustache]

Imposter Complex. Oh yeah!
I had a twenty year career in a multinational computer company because the manager and HR people who were to interview me were off with flu and the only one available was an "undermanager" who discovered that I used to play rugby (left hook/wing) and a good pint of beer!

I left secondary school at 18 whereas just about everyone in the company apart from the maintenance guys had one or more degrees in this and that.

After that, I was recruited into a QUANGO (a quasi-autonomous non-governmental organisation) and I'm sure I got the job because I turned up with my left arm in a sling (cycling accident) after driving 40 miles to make the interview. That job lasted for seven years until Politics changed, then I was headhunted and found myself as a Economic Development Manager in a small office with Oxbridge types (one had a degree in Urban Development but was semi illiterate and sent his reports to me to put into readable English!)

I had no imposter complex when I was a drummer after Ginger Baker watched me one night and told me that I was a good drummer.

I had no imposter complex as a guitarist because I've always known my limitations, but made the best of my limited abilities.

Now I'm retired, I'm amazed that we can still eat and pay the bills on my moderate pensions - seems I did something right!

[Dbone]

Originally Posted by Ludere

I am absolutely nowhere near good enough for the instruments I own.
Trust me, this is not feigned humility; this is fact.
I am of the camp that feels fine instruments rightfully belong in the hands of those who can do them justice.
(To this point, it has occurred to me more than once to seek out young devoted 'talents' and gift them a better guitar than they can afford ...)
Yes, at this point I can afford the guitars I own without undue duress or letting anything "slip" financially.
I consider myself quite fortunate to be in such a position and I thoroughly enjoy my guitars and this forum, but I do feel like a bit of an imposter for my lack of expertise.
I am one of those who took an extended sabbatical, tended to life, and then came back. To be perfectly honest, I do think I have the raw materials to become respectable in time - what I don't have is enough time left on the orb ...
So I play for myself, enjoy the little bit I can do, and do my best to appreciate each hour I have with this great pastime.

All in all, it's actually pretty cool ...

People like nice things. Is there anything wrong with that at the end of the day? Perhaps one’s driving skills are not good enough to drive a Porsche like it was meant to be driven, but darn it, it sure is a nice enjoyable ride.

I know the feeling you are trying to get across though...I used to have some thoughts like that creeping in and rationalized past them.

Better tools can help you learn better too, even if it is that it just motivates you more because you like and enjoy the instrument. Now that is a good thing, and it makes that instrument more justifiable. Having just recently received a higher end RainSong guitar, I also didn’t realize how badly my cheap Aria was playing. It was an impediment to learning relative to the RainSong.

[whvick]

Originally Posted by Dbone

I think it comes down to your goals...For me it’s strictly about having a hobby that I enjoy and find relaxing...One that I do not feel accountable about in any way to anyone (not even to myself)...The other secret is not caring about what anyone else thinks, and doing it for yourself only...That would include both the buying and playing side of things...



I should have been an imposter syndrome therapist

Yes Doctor, good session. You don’t mind just sending the bill do you?

[Ludere]

Originally Posted by menhir

Posted in the music department where I went to college:

"... The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best ..."

GREAT quote.

Originally Posted by Dbone

People like nice things. Is there anything wrong with that at the end of the day? Perhaps one’s driving skills are not good enough to drive a Porsche like it was meant to be driven, but darn it, it sure is a nice enjoyable ride.

I know the feeling you are trying to get across though...I used to have some thoughts like that creeping in and rationalized past them.

Better tools can help you learn better too, even if it is that it just motivates you more because you like and enjoy the instrument. Now that is a good thing, and it makes that instrument more justifiable. Having just recently received a higher end RainSong guitar, I also didn’t realize how badly my cheap Aria was playing. It was an impediment to learning relative to the RainSong.

Noted, and I concur with all.
When I discovered how much nicer a better guitar can make the ride, I scraped together all I could to buy that Takamine 20+ years ago ... and the rest? Well, I do like nice things, and the porsche just ain't gonna happen ...

Thanks, Dbone.

...

[gfspencer]

Originally Posted by puggy

There's a local performer who plays solo backed by a raft of electronics ( backing tracks, drum machine etc).

I quickly realised that, although he didn't actually promote it, the impression given was that he was ripping out those Mark Knopfler et al solos during the song when actually be was just strumming rhythm, letting the backing track carry the tune.

I initially felt somewhat ripped off by this until I looked around and realised that the vast majority of the crowd neither knew nor cared about the technicalities of the
performance, they were just enjoying hearing some banging tunes being played live in the pub.

Was he an imposter? Umm, still undecided.......

If I could figure out how to use backing tracks I would use them. Unfortunately I'm not that smart.

[ChrisE]

I’m no fan of backing tracks. Lots of performers in my area (even bands) make a living playing to backing tracks. I don’t like backing tracks.

[Mandobart]

If you suspect you're an imposter, you may have imposter complex.

If you know you're an imposter, and you're getting away with it - you've got (or possibly are lacking) something else....

[golfreggie]

Originally Posted by FlyWilde

I don't play to meet some objective standard of excellence. I play because of the way I feel while I play and the head space it puts me in when I'm done. Doesn't matter where my head is at when I pick up the guitar, it is in a good place when I set it down.

You have expressed my feelings exactly. Anything that I do, I could do better. But, if I do it, I love it. I never set out to be a "star", just love playing at the skill level I have at the time, whether it is day one with an old Kay guitar with strings way off the fingerboard, or strumming the Collings, I do it because I love the way I feel when and after I play.

[DukeX]

Originally Posted by wguitar

IMHO DukeX is SPOT ON -- I've only been doing solo gigs within the past year, with open mics and encouragement from friends and family being key. Lots of free advice from friends who told me that to get gigs I need to learn more current songs and do what they do. Well, I do mostly 50's - 80's "oldies" because I LIKE OLDIES, and I've gotta be me. I just do my own thing and don't worry about it. As a result, I'm having a blast, play about one gig a month (which is all want to do), and proud of the musical resume I'm building ! I'm just an average player with an average voice -- enjoying retirement! THANKS for a GREAT post Duke X ! Cheers!

Thanks for your kind words, wguitar. You summed it up perfectly in four words: "I'm having a blast." That's what it's all abut for me.

[DesertTwang]

I feel the same, but I think the most important part of dealing with imposter syndrome is being ok with it. I have yet to learn how to play a guitar solo that goes beyond the pentatonic scale in first position, but that hasn't kept me from playing in various bluegrass outfits, including paid gigs. As long as people like what you do, by all means keep doing it.

[zeeway]

I feel like I am listening secretly to a confessional booth of over-the-hill guitar players. Wait, I may be describing myself.

I too should be better than I am after many years of guitar strumming, and occasional finger picking. And yes, my guitar is also much better than I am.

But, Lordy, do I love the sounds my guitar can make when everything is right. And I do love to sing, so that part works out.

But it does amaze me, that some neighbors come up to me and say... oh you're the guitar player guy. I am so honored to be thought of that way. I am (gulp) 78 and only in the last three years have I been playing in public. So, to you young whippersnappers...don't wait. Get out there and learn how to smile and keep going when you screw up.

I feel incredibly blessed to have the opportunities to make some music at this stage in my life. Are there better musicians/guitar players/singers around me...absolutely...all the time. I am just happy they don't realize how limited my skills are...and they let me hang around.

Enjoy life and make music.

[foxo]

Originally Posted by zeeway

I feel like I am listening secretly to a confessional booth of over-the-hill guitar players. Wait, I may be describing myself.

I too should be better than I am after many years of guitar strumming, and occasional finger picking. And yes, my guitar is also much better than I am.

But, Lordy, do I love the sounds my guitar can make when everything is right. And I do love to sing, so that part works out.

But it does amaze me, that some neighbors come up to me and say... oh you're the guitar player guy. I am so honored to be thought of that way. I am (gulp) 78 and only in the last three years have I been playing in public. So, to you young whippersnappers...don't wait. Get out there and learn how to smile and keep going when you screw up.

I feel incredibly blessed to have the opportunities to make some music at this stage in my life. Are there better musicians/guitar players/singers around me...absolutely...all the time. I am just happy they don't realize how limited my skills are...and they let me hang around.

Enjoy life and make music.

Good post.

[DianeA]

Originally Posted by fazool

Timely topic - our daughter was recently counseled on the exact same thing.

Probably the hardest program to get admitted to is veterinary school. It is, quite literally, easier to become a brain surgeon than a veterinarian - simply because there are so few schools and so many applicants the rejection rate and competition to get in is enormous.

Our daughter (deservedly) started veterinary school. She has a degree in biology, has 8000 hours experience, worked at a veterinary clinic for four years and volunteers at three shelters and runs a feral rescue program on her own. Also not bragging but the background is germane to this point.

In her first semester they had a student success session where a psychologist told them all about "impostor syndrome". The psychologist explained "you probably all think we made a mistake and that you dont belong here". She went on to reassure them that "you are good enough and you do belong here and it is not a mistake and you aren't an impostor and not going to be exposed as not-good-enough."

Our daughter said it clarified a huge stress because even with her background she had exactly that feeling.

We talked about this a lot and I found it to be a very enlightening topic and very educational.

And, yes I immediately applied it to myself and my guitar playing.

I had similar conversation with our other daughter who would complain after a school concert if she made a mistake, I tried explaining that no one heard it. Well the tables turned and now she says that to me.

My friend runs (literally) the #1 local party/cover band in this region and he always has friends up on stage playing with them. He invites me up to play and while I love it I always think my imperfections are huge.

I wonder if I should be up there playing with them and if I am "good enough" After an impromptu song recently he commented "that's the best that song ever sounder for us"

Yes I have impostor syndrome......so bad!

Tell your daughter 'great work!' regarding the feral program!!