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  #61  
Old 02-05-2020, 10:22 AM
penguin71 penguin71 is offline
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Originally Posted by PorkPieGuy View Post
He plays a part in the marriage, not in the wedding planning (outside of groomsman choice/best man) if he's smart.
Um... I am a guy and I planned my entire wedding (and it went off without a hitch). BTW - this whole attitude that it's the bride's day and the groom is just a decoration is old, trite, and quite frankly, offensive.
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  #62  
Old 02-05-2020, 11:55 AM
BallisticSquid BallisticSquid is offline
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Originally Posted by rmp View Post
THIS !

I'm also a member of our churches music ministry. there's some sway here but you need to check with the pastor or the priest doing the wedding.

The music must be mostly liturgical unless the priest okay's the material.

and maybe mom needs to back off a little bit. Seriously,... there are guidelines, it's not personal, it just is what it is
I used to play in the contemporary choir at my church (Catholic) and I can concur that it varies from parish to parish, from priest to priest, as to what is acceptable. In my parish for instance, the Music Director is very traditional and any non traditional hymns wouldn't be allowed.

I know the OP said he ran it by the wedding planner at the church, but I think it might be worth bringing it up to the priest performing the ceremony as well just to cover all of the bases.

Good luck!!
  #63  
Old 02-05-2020, 12:21 PM
PorkPieGuy PorkPieGuy is offline
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Originally Posted by penguin71 View Post
Um... I am a guy and I planned my entire wedding (and it went off without a hitch). BTW - this whole attitude that it's the bride's day and the groom is just a decoration is old, trite, and quite frankly, offensive.
Sorry you feel this way. Glad it all worked out for you.
  #64  
Old 02-05-2020, 01:05 PM
Neil K Walk Neil K Walk is offline
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Thank you all for your sage advise and wisdom.

I have been told that the church's wedding coordinator said anything was ok.

I appreciate all of your help and have a plan to handle all parties but I do have one music related question:

Is there a video or an online site where I can learn "Here Comes The Sun" as a single voice and guitar?

I agree with just about all of your advise except for the "run away" part. I appreciate your honesty but I will respectfully not run away. I've known the bride her entire life and her intended seems like a fine young man who just wants his bride-to-be as happy as possible.

Thank you all again,
PJ
It sounds like you have history with the family. I'm curious about your plan. Did it include a discussion with the father of the bride? Traditionally he'd be the one writing the check after all.
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  #65  
Old 02-05-2020, 02:08 PM
llew llew is offline
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It sounds like you have history with the family. I'm curious about your plan. Did it include a discussion with the father of the bride? Traditionally he'd be the one writing the check after all.
You gotta point there Neil!
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  #66  
Old 02-05-2020, 02:19 PM
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UncleJesse UncleJesse is offline
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Originally Posted by drive-south View Post
I hear wade wears tan pants on stage. Thats a major faux pas on the gear page.
Better or worse than wearing shorts on stage?
  #67  
Old 02-05-2020, 02:23 PM
rmp rmp is offline
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Originally Posted by BallisticSquid View Post
I used to play in the contemporary choir at my church (Catholic) and I can concur that it varies from parish to parish, from priest to priest, as to what is acceptable. In my parish for instance, the Music Director is very traditional and any non traditional hymns wouldn't be allowed.

I know the OP said he ran it by the wedding planner at the church, but I think it might be worth bringing it up to the priest performing the ceremony as well just to cover all of the bases.

Good luck!!

yes Same here. Our music director is pretty opened for suggestions and very easy to work with.

as long as they are in the realm. the OCP catalog is where 99% of the music comes from, and it is loaded with a lot of great contemporary christian music. Stay in those lanes and it's usually all good.
  #68  
Old 02-05-2020, 02:29 PM
mr. beaumont mr. beaumont is offline
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Better or worse than wearing shorts on stage?
Remember, the rule is always dress a step above your audience, so shorts are fine, if the gig is at the beach, or a nudist colony.
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  #69  
Old 02-05-2020, 03:41 PM
penguin71 penguin71 is offline
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Sorry you feel this way. Glad it all worked out for you.
lol - way to completely miss the point, but... Okie dokie
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  #70  
Old 02-05-2020, 05:00 PM
Jeff Scott Jeff Scott is offline
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Um... I am a guy and I planned my entire wedding (and it went off without a hitch). BTW - this whole attitude that it's the bride's day and the groom is just a decoration is old, trite, and quite frankly, offensive.
Us male types need to stick together in this "it's all about the bride" BS.
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  #71  
Old 02-06-2020, 08:37 AM
PorkPieGuy PorkPieGuy is offline
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lol - way to completely miss the point, but... Okie dokie
I probably did. I'm not a smart person.

It is really cool what you did, planning a wedding. I could never anything like that (like, seriously).
  #72  
Old 02-06-2020, 09:14 AM
Neil K Walk Neil K Walk is offline
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Us male types need to stick together in this "it's all about the bride" BS.
You okay, man? We’re just having fun here. No sense jumping up on your soap box. I’ve found that few people recognize the rope dangling nearby.

FWIW some of us barely remember our weddings, much less the rigamarole of who we shouldn’t invite and which dish we should we offer at the reception: the chicken or pork? A lucky few have only had one. Some have decided to roll the dice several times. Half of us come up with double sixes and end up paying the ex back for the cost of the wedding - and then some.
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  #73  
Old 02-06-2020, 10:24 AM
Photojeep Photojeep is offline
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Hello Again Everyone,

OP here.

I sincerely appreciate all of your help. Well, except for the tan pants part, but that's a whole other thing...

A couple points I'd like to make about this whole thing then I am asking the Mods to close this thread.

I have been friends with the family of the bride for longer than the bride has been alive. They're some of my closest friends. I didn't state earlier how close so I completely understand, even if I don't agree with, many of the comments regarding the Mothers of the bride and groom.

I was asked to play at the wedding and I am honored to have been asked.
I am NOT being paid for this and I wouldn't accept any money if it was offered. This is my gift to the bride and groom.
Yes there is some family dynamics involved but I am staying very clear of all of that and, at the request of my friend (mother of the bride) I am sending the "new" list to the happy couple.
They're very open to any changes I make to the list they sent me (compiled by the mother of the groom)
A song I recommended prior to any lists being compiled was "The Wedding Song" by Paul S.
The church's wedding person at the church basically told the couple they could choose whatever they want for music so it seems to be a very non-traditional Catholic Church but I also take that to mean traditional music would also be welcomed.

Weddings are very emotional events and when it comes down to it, as many of you have clearly stated, it's ALL about the bride and groom and their commitment and love for one another.

I sincerely appreciate the passion and wisdom of the AGF members who have chimed in with their advice and stories and I hope my request to close this thread won't upset anyone on the forum. I just feel it's getting a little out of hand and I've received what I've asked for so I feel it's time to move on.

If any of my comments above have upset or insulted anyone here, please accept my profound apologies. I think I have what I need.

Thank you all again,
PJ
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