The Song of My Life...all comments welcomed

[ccarnucci]

A small attempt at introspection, and orchestration. I hope you all like it. Any comments are welcome and appreciated. Thanks!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnzy_AJ4OJI

The Song of My Life -- Christian Carnucci

Verse 1:

Time throws shadows over me.
The years weigh, like chains upon my feet.
The trail behind is getting longer.
The path ahead begins to climb.
The years go by now so much faster, as life goes passing by.
And time knows the song of my life.

Verse 2:

My song betrays, the choices I have made.
Though time it seems remembers every deed.
The barren past now clings like demons.
The futures set, the die is cast.
The tattered threads and all their meanings, they haunt me to the last.
And so it goes, the song of my life.

Verse 3:

Yet here and now, it rises up some how.
By chance or fate, the dark begins to wane.
Another road hints at redemption.
Another chance another fate.
Another verse, a brand new chorus, to salvage all this waste.
As time rewrites the song of my life.
Yea it rewrites the song of my life.

[Neil K Walk]

Beautiful!

[Ranger1964]

That is a beautiful song and production!

[rmyAddison]

Chris,

Very nice indeed!

Gabbed my guitar after the first verse (Bb eh, moody key) and started noodling along. Nice composition and good control on the vocals.

Excited about hooking up next week, really like your songs!

[Bob1131]

Chris, that was very nice...I like it! It has the feel and sound of a 60s era ballad, in the vein of "Turn Around" (Where are you going my little one) and "Patches," and I can certainly relate to the lyrics!

The ending sounded a little awkward to me, so I recommend either repeating "As time rewrites the song of my life" or maybe just "As time rewrites my song." The "ya" seemed a little out of place since you previously did not use any slang or interjections in the song. From a production perspective (listening on headphones), I think you picked up noise (computer fan?) in the right channel, but it is only audible during the first verse. Also, I recommend a fade at the end rather than an abrupt cut off of the strings.

[stratt2828]

Wow! I listened several times to that...it's wonderful!

[ccarnucci]

Originally Posted by Bob1131

Chris, that was very nice...I like it! It has the feel and sound of a 60s era ballad, in the vein of "Turn Around" (Where are you going my little one) and "Patches," and I can certainly relate to the lyrics!

The ending sounded a little awkward to me, so I recommend either repeating "As time rewrites the song of my life" or maybe just "As time rewrites my song." The "ya" seemed a little out of place since you previously did not use any slang or interjections in the song. From a production perspective (listening on headphones), I think you picked up noise (computer fan?) in the right channel, but it is only audible during the first verse. Also, I recommend a fade at the end rather than an abrupt cut off of the strings.

Thanks for the comments and suggestions. I agree the ending needs work. I had the some of the same thoughts. I needed to get it put together for the Virtual Open Mic over at Harmony Central so I just let it pass. I dont know what I'm going to do with it but you are so right!

And I wish there was something I could do about the computer noise. It's just a small spare bed room I record in and I don't know how to make it go away. It drives me crazy that it's there!

[ccarnucci]

And thanks everyone else for the nice support. I'm glad you all liked it. I was a little nervous about this one. I liked it, but you never know if others hear it the same way.

[RamóN]

That sounds like high quality in my book Nice song, i like how you repeat the same ideas and yet it sounds always interesting, the lyrics do a good job of giving a sense of progression to the song. Beatiful lyrics too.

If i would have to say something besides the ending i just feel like the voice goes a bit too loud in this part

"The futures set, the die is cast.
The tattered threads and all their meanings......"

Its the only part i felt out of place of the song, maybe you can rise the music volume there so it helps with the climax.

Good job.

[Mr. Dave]

First - Beautiful!, Second - +1 re Bob's observations & suggestions. Third -

Originally Posted by ccarnucci

And I wish there was something I could do about the computer noise. It's just a small spare bed room I record in and I don't know how to make it go away. It drives me crazy that it's there!

By no stretch of the imagination am I an expert but...

My "studio" is pretty much the same as yours - a small "guest bedroom" that also serves as an "office" and a "crafts room". I've built a cabinet for my noisy G4 Mac tower. All the cabling is routed through a port stuffed with old socks to keep the noise leakage down . When I am not recording I keep the cabinet door open to avoid over-heating. When the door is closed it is pretty darn quiet.

I use dynamic mics (SM58 & SM57) which are pretty forgiving anyway, and face them away from the noise source. I've also been told by Fran Guidry that you can accomplish the same thing by trimming the pre amp on a condenser mic.

[220volt]

That was very good. Beautiful lyrics and orchestrations.

The only constructive criticism would be to watch the vocals (especially vibrato) when you go high. But other than that, it was awesome.

[rhancox]

That was beautiful, Chris. I loved the strings you added to the background. It really set the mood for the song. It was perfect.

Didn't notice any fan noise, but then, my ears are shot. I thought the recording was excellent.

[ferg]

Good stuff. I, too, thought the strings were perfect. As for fan noise - I wrestled with that for a long time, then gave up. Most people will never notice. It probably only is only really noticeable before you trim the beginning and end of the recording.

[shawlie]

Fantastic orignal - when you start singing, the sound is perfect and it just keeps getting better.

I agree with Bob, it has a perfect 60s ballad sound (which is a wonderful sound!). The strings are a great extra and really give it a little more depth. Nice video, too!

[ccarnucci]

Thanks so much for the comments and suggestions. I'm not sure vibrato is the right word for what my voice does on the high notes... but I'll gladly take it!