Online dating sites

[AmericanEagle]

As many may know, I’m going through a rough divorce.
I am quite lonely, and not sure how to date at my age (52).
Some have suggested online sites like match.com, etc.
None I’ve found are free sites, but my question is, does
anyone know which ones are worth the money? Has anyone had much success with such sites? Any other thoughts? Thank you.

[Jaden]

I’m not sure if it was match.com, but my niece found her (now) husband on one of those paid sites, and it has completely turned her life around - he is a high quality guy, good job, full of integrity, etc. She now has a good career too. Going online exposes one to a much larger ‘market’, whereas the local area depending on word of mouth may be a lost proposition (too few choices).

[Silurian]

I've been married for 20 years so I've never been on any of these sites but for all the metrics and data points they collect, match you with, etc, etc there's no guarantee you'll 'click' with someone.

Just get out there and see what happens.

[RP]

Going in a different direction, I'd suggest working through the loneliness, learn to enjoy doing things with others in non-dating settings like Meet-Ups, and try not to rush into dating just to fill the void. I personally found the loneliness that can accompany being in a relationship that's gone bad to be much worse than the loneliness of being by myself...

[Cincy2]

About 20 years ago, Match.com was still in its infancy. I joined, at 48. The part I liked best was you could filter by education, marital history, children etc. After a few conversations, I met a lady that was a great fit. We married one year later and as they say, we've been living happily ever after. The online service was perfect for me because the alternative methods of meeting potential mates were all waaaaay outside my comfort zone.

Cincy

[AmericanEagle]

Originally Posted by RP

Going in a different direction, I'd suggest working through the loneliness, learn to enjoy doing things with others in non-dating settings like Meet-Ups, and try not to rush into dating just to fill the void.

A good friend of mine gave me the same advice.

[RP]

Originally Posted by AmericanEagle

A good friend of mine gave me the same advice.

Your friend is very wise. I learned after my second divorce that the better question was how to enjoy being by myself, not how to find someone else...

[DCCougar]

Originally Posted by AmericanEagle

...Some have suggested online sites like match.com, etc.
None I’ve found are free sites....

AFAIK, OKCupid.com is still a free site.

25 years ago I paid to get on matchmaker.com. I went out with half the women in L.A. It was fun! I met a lot of interesting ladies!* But it's somewhat rare that the match really "clicks" for both people, and there shouldn't be any expectation beyond having an enjoyable evening. I ended up marrying a woman from that site.

________________________
* The "trick" is, show interest in and ask about them, not just talk about yourself.

[Rockysdad]

The nice thing about being single (IMHO) is, you do what you want, when you want, where you want, if you want.

Get comfortable on your own, then a better fit with someone else is more likely.

[mr. beaumont]

My best friend went through a string of bad relationships meeting people the "old fashioned way" and tried match.com a few years ago.

The second person he met was "the one." They're happily married with 2 kids now. So basically, it can work.

[MikeBmusic]

Going through the same thing. You can join all the sites for free, but your access is limited, you can't send messages in most of the sites without paying.
OKcupid allows you to send a limited number of messages (per week or month?) for free, but not sure you can read messages from others without paying.
Ourtime offered a super-discounted deal to me a couple of weeks ago - basically 6 months for what the normal monthly fee would be.
You may find, as I have, that you see the same 'faces' on the different sites.
You can set up a 'search' on most of the sites allowing you to filter for age, likes, proximity in miles to you.
If there is only one photo, and little 'about me' info, just pass on it - its someone who set up a fake profile or a limited one just to browse.
If you get a message from someone nowhere near you, just delete, or say 'no thanks' - these are people phishing for your info or to scam you. Same thing if you get a message about contacting someone "not on the site" - its a scam, just walk away. (And yes, I have seen these scammers in just 2 weeks on the site!)

[Riverwolf]

I divorced in 2011.
I tried match.com in 2016.
A month later met my girlfriend.
She lived about 15 miles away and we would never have met otherwise.
We clicked.
We have since bought a place and have lived together now for about a year.

[merlin666]

I was hooked on dating sites for many years, and have found my current long term partner on one. This was at one of the "social events" for singles to meet that were organized locally through that site, and was only possible because we worked in the same building and recognized each other. As for "free" sites, the saying that you get what you pay for holds probably more true than for material things. But one of the main features to look for in dating sites is that the site also has active social events in the area that allow members to meet in a causal and fun atmosphere. Otherwise, if I ever end up single again I will try to not use any dating sites but will instead put myself out as a volunteer and in other activities where chances are high to meet people who share common interests. The only thing people on dating sites have in common is that they are looking for someone else, and that is usually not enough for a relationship. At 52 you are at prime age for dating again, as there are many divorced (experienced) people in this age group, and also young widowed people may be looking to start over again, so choices should be plentiful.

[archerscreek]

I tried match.com 5-10 years ago. I joined for free and waited a week or so for a 1/2 price promo or such to come along before paying.

If you live near a decent size city and have reasonable standards there will be numerous opportunities for dating on there. Frankly, it's an inexpensive way to fill up your social calendar. The thing I found out was that nearly everyone I met either 1) had past issues or relationships they were trying to hide/run from or 2) they were serial daters and needed frequent attention from new sources.

All said, I think the experience is worth the price of admission.

[619TF]

Originally Posted by AmericanEagle

A good friend of mine gave me the same advice.

Because they ARE a good friend. That advice is the best anyone can give. I must admit I've played the online game before. Basically you get what you pay for. The free sites are full of people who don't pay the money because they either can't or won't. Either way you're looking at someone who isn't really that interested in sharing anything with you but instead are "takers". That and a fairly large proportion of scammers and "pros". Steer clear or pay as that tends to weed some of those types out. Only some though I'm afraid.