Overcoming emotion

[Stevied63]

So, a question for the performers out there. First, I'm not a performer. I like to play for myself, or friends/family. However, I find that on certain songs...songs that I really connect with emotionally...I can't make it through the song without choking up/crying. I can usually finish playing the song instrumentally, but often cannot go on with singing as I'm too choked up. Sometimes it's very embarrassing. The odd thing is that, when I listen to those songs, I generally don't choke up and cry - but when I play them, I'll struggle to get through (generally I'm good on the first verse, then the emotion kicks in). I don't have to have an audience either - this will happen at times when I am playing by myself, and singing along.

I just discovered/learned The Stable Song by Gregory Alan Isakov. For a variety of reasons I've really connected with the song, and as the lyrics are less than clear, it's meaning is open to interpretation. I generally get through the first two verses and the chorus, then choke up at the end of the third verse and can't continue with singing. Sometimes when this happens I can laugh at myself...I know rationally it's just a song, but I still choke up!

Anyway, wondering if any of you veteran performers ever choke up/cry on a song? Are there techniques to overcome this?

[DenverSteve]

Soon after the passing of my father I had difficulty getting through Leader Of The Band. My process for playing through emotionally difficult songs is to stay on the chords and lyrics, not letting my mind connect me to the song, and play it dozens, and dozens, of times to work through the process.

[Paddy1951]

The fact that playing and singing some songs effect you emotionally only shows your humanity. Do not, at all, be embarassed that a song you may do can bring you to tears.

I wrote a song about 18 years ago. A musician friend of mine recorded the song. It was well received. That same friend of mine died of brain cancer 4 years ago. I tried to perform the song earlier this year, only to completely break down, feeling the loss of my friend. I apologized to my audience and explained my lack of composure only to be praised and soothed by them and understood.

I have asked many a seasoned pro how they are able to do the kind of songs that you can connect to so emotionally. Most seem to agree that practicing them over and over, 'till you feel them less and less is how you become less sensitive. Still, I have seen some very seasoned singers choke up.

I am of Irish decent. My ancestors came here during the famine. That is a long time ago. There is a song called "Kilkelly Ireland" that documents the losses, separations, the emotions of the immigrant/emmigrant experience. The song is based on a real family. It took me a very long time to be able to do that song. It is of course, because these people experienced many of the same things my ancestors did. But as I sing it, I think of how hard it was/is for people of any ethnicity to have this kind of experience to go through.
It's a vey good song.

It is a very hard one to do.

Be who you are. Losing it sometimes, not a bad thing.

[sloar]

Time in a Bottle has that affect on me, it was my dads favorite song. I can remember hearing him play it when I was younger. I’m a Marine vet and a firefighter, so don’t be embarrassed. I’m not!

[razztazz]

One that always get me are "Abide with Me" and it's not like I haven't song enough songs of a religious nature over the years.

Another one is "And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda." But that one is sort of maudlin on more than one level.

One technique used by actors trying to get past a scene in rehearsal that, usually is, too funny and cracking them up, is to just do it again and again and again.... until you're inured to it. Not sure how well that would work with sad songs though.

[SprintBob]

Originally Posted by Stevied63

So, a question for the performers out there. First, I'm not a performer. I like to play for myself, or friends/family. However, I find that on certain songs...songs that I really connect with emotionally...I can't make it through the song without choking up/crying. I can usually finish playing the song instrumentally, but often cannot go on with singing as I'm too choked up. Sometimes it's very embarrassing. The odd thing is that, when I listen to those songs, I generally don't choke up and cry - but when I play them, I'll struggle to get through (generally I'm good on the first verse, then the emotion kicks in). I don't have to have an audience either - this will happen at times when I am playing by myself, and singing along.

I just discovered/learned The Stable Song by Gregory Alan Isakov. For a variety of reasons I've really connected with the song, and as the lyrics are less than clear, it's meaning is open to interpretation. I generally get through the first two verses and the chorus, then choke up at the end of the third verse and can't continue with singing. Sometimes when this happens I can laugh at myself...I know rationally it's just a song, but I still choke up!

Anyway, wondering if any of you veteran performers ever choke up/cry on a song? Are there techniques to overcome this?

To be honest, I think you are fortunate that you are connecting emotionally to a song you are playing because that means you are in the song. A lot of us struggle to connect emotionally with the music we play. We work very hard to master the mechanics and get to the point where we can play it (almost) with our eyes closed but find it a challenge to connect emotionally and sound musical and therefore interesting to a listener.

I don’t know what I can offer to help you dial back the emotion but I’d kind of like to have your problem!

[Bob Womack]

You are in good company. On his last album, Gregg Allman included a Jackson Browne song, "Song for Adam." He recorded a demo of the song in 1974. He'd always associated the lead character with his own older brother Duane, who died at 24 years old in 1971. During the sessions for the album in 2016 when Gregg recorded the song, he got to the line, "Still it seems he stopped singing in the middle of his song," and choked up. He was in bad enough physical shape that he was unable to go back and finish it up with an overdub before he became bedridden, so the album was released with that verse of the song incomplete.




The break occurs at 4:12



Bob

[westview]

I, too, have had emotional moments playing songs. It usually happens when the song I'm singing/playing is triggered by some stress or difficulty that is happening in my life at the time.

[Stevied63]

Thanks for everyone’s comments and suggestions. I agree that real emotion is a good thing to have when singing a song for others. It’s amazing to me how certain lines or phrases can really connect with you - and it also points out why so many songwriters are reluctant to reveal the exact meanings of their songs, because it allows everyone to connect and interpret in their own way.

S

[String_Theory]

I can never make it through Alan Jackson's "Blue ridge mountain song". Matter of fact, most times when I hear it being played I almost lose it.

[jfq722]

Another school of thought could be that if you're still feeling that strongly it could be that you haven't played the song enough in practice. I found that that feeling goes away for me after about 50 plays

[DupleMeter]

Some lyrics really connect on a very deep level. For those songs I find I need to focus on something other than that deep connection when singing them. Usually it's food