Pass it on or pay it forward

[TomB'sox]

OK folks, this thread has a very easy path which heads down the wrong road. Remember it is OK to click away without posting, but if you must, let's keep it within the lines of the AGF rule highway please.

[Denny B]

I'm sure a number of folks in that line drove out with a smile on their face, and I can find no downside to that...

[619TF]

I'm not sure I understand the attack on the OP. If he can afford to pay for his donuts and skipped his free order then the person behind him in line gets it, right? So for all intent he was actually generous as far as I can see. Didn't participate in the game but didn't stop it either. What's the issue?

[buddyhu]

Originally Posted by jnidoh

Two weeks ago, drove through a DD and had a $7.60 order for my niece. Drove up to the pick-up window and held out a twenty but the lady told me that the car ahead had paid for my order and that 12 other cars had done the same.

Sorry....I don't play that game. There are too many new, expensive cars in line at the drive thru for me to worry if they can afford their donuts and coffee. Told the lady, my bill is $7.60, don't care if the car ahead paid, take 7.60 out of this bill and give me my change. Don't care what you do with the money and tell anyone else that wants to play pass it on that there are many food kitchens in the city that can use the money instead of buying people donuts.

The women looked at me like I was nuts, my 16 yr old niece tried to crawl under the seat (think I embarrassed her) but my 70 yr old self drove away happy.

john

Such gestures are not about need, nor are they about charitable giving.

Sometimes i have held doors open for people who are not incapacitated and who dont have their hands full. Some of my neighbors occasionally clear the snow off of a neighbor’s driveway, even though the neighbor is fully capable of clearing their own snow (and who usually does so). There are hundreds of similar examples.

It isn’t really about generosity, either…its about the spirit of generosity. It is about fostering happiness in others, whether or not they deserve it or need it.

Hopefully, the folks who make such gestures don't do such things instead of making donations that might help people who are in need….but we don’t know what they do when they aren’t in the line at that DD on that day.

I don’t quite understand how you view this as a “game”. But you are certainly free to do what you want and to speak your mind…which you did. And since you didn’t harm anyone, then that is the end of it, as far as I am concerned.

[jnidoh]

Knew this would cause a bit of a reaction.

Agree totally that the world needs a lot more love, kindness and understanding, but feel it should be applied where most needed and yes I do give to a soup kitchen and a homeless shelter in my area.

My wife and I get DD gift cards and stop and hand them out to anyone we see doing something good such as picking up a neighbors trash can from the road, someones bag of trash thrown from a car or shoveling a sidewalk for an older person. To me it's the best thing in the world to see how people react when you tell them you appreciate what they're doing and just want to say thanks.

Several months ago our 16 yo niece came to live with us (long messed up story) and like most "parents" we're trying to instill good values and teach her that people are basically good. Will tell her don't be like me, when you start driving, buy a donut and coffee for the guy behind you.

john

[Dru Edwards]

Wow! I can only image how many donuts are in the back of that El Camino.

Originally Posted by Acousticado

[imwjl]

I would play the game.

Volunteering and community stuff had been a big part of my social life anyway but I'm now 2 years dealing with the can't talk about it and with a lot of insights from being nice and lately from how short staffed our stores are now and various interactions with people.

With a 16 year old in the car I'd also play the game. It seems like our kids who grew up always seeing a parent or grandparent doing community stuff helped teach them to be excellent and super capable young adults. They volunteer and do really good things without even being asked or prompted. It seems to give them great opportunities beyond just behaving well.

[Golffishny]

I would just say thanks, but I can afford mine. Pass the prior offer to the next car. Have a nice day. A pleasant tone goes a long way too.

[KevWind]

Originally Posted by Tnfiddler

Maybe, money-wise. BUT, the action is bigger!

Boy do we agree ............

Way way bigger (like exponential) ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, and the entire point of "the game" one would think ---Call it a simple positive shift in collective energy If nothing else
AND contrary to the sentiment in the OP, I think the way the world is currently,,,, any positive energy (whether "most good" or not) is worthwhile

[619TF]

Originally Posted by Golffishny

I would just say thanks, but I can afford mine. Pass the prior offer to the next car. Have a nice day. A pleasant tone goes a long way too.

Sounds to me like the OP did just that. I can't read tone in a post but that's basically what OP said. That he could afford his own.

Originally Posted by KevWind

Boy do we agree ............

Way way bigger (like exponential) ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, and the entire point of "the game" one would think ---Call it a simple positive shift in collective energy If nothing else
AND contrary to the sentiment in the OP, I think the way the world is currently,,,, any positive energy (whether "most good" or not) is worthwhile

So pressuring people to feel they need to pay for someone who can obviously afford it (and with no regard to whether that person can themselves afford to pay for someone else) is a positive thing?

[KevWind]

Originally Posted by 619TF

So pressuring people to feel they need to pay for someone who can obviously afford it is a positive thing?

So explaining what was going on, is "pressuring" seems as if the OP did not feel much pressured given he paid what his order was . Doesn't seem like any more "pressure" than say the person in the Santa suite with the bell and bucket standing right at the entrance to the store ...
And the notion the OP raised (and the only part that I addressed ) was an intellectual exercise/question about "the most good" not pressure. Which is a valid question, but one that can have more than one valid answer..

So YES what was happing (including the OP's action , which BTW I did not condemn in any way) it all seems like a positive to me ....YMMV

[Dotneck]

I can’t remember the last time I was at Dunkin Donuts. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I had a donut!

[J Patrick]

…personally…when I feel like being charitable in a public way….I stop and have a conversation with a homeless brother or sister……just small talk about weather and such…then I give them a few bucks or a five spot and tell them to be safe…I like doing that..

[J Patrick]

….double post……as a donut lover once said….DOH!!!

[Tnfiddler]

I don’t feel that the point of paying it forward is if someone can or can’t afford something. Looking at it that way diminishes the whole purpose. Taking the initiative to do something kind for our Brothers and Sisters is something we all need to be doing. Doing it anonymously, like in a drive-thru, is a way to make it about the other person and not a, “look at me” gesture. EVERYONE is going through a test or trial, daily, even if we don’t want to realize it and a simple gesture like this can make a person’s day. In a world where you can be anything, be kind. This is how I try to live my life daily, especially in my line of work. I smile when I see acts of kindness, because it reminds me that there are still LOTS of great people on this world.