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#1
03-31-2012, 11:57 PM
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Miraculous Martin guitar restorer?
There's a new product I've seen advertised on eBay for cleaning and restoring guitars. The manufacturer claims it's organic, non-toxic, and won't damage the nitro finish on my Martins. The product is supposed to be 100% pure Di-Hydrogen Monoxide, and an 8 oz. bottle sells for only $29.95 +S&H. It's made in the USA, but I've heard that there is a big difference in quality, depending on the region it's produced in, and that the best comes from the Adirondack area, although there are some who favor the German or Italian alpine variety. There's also different formulations depending on whether the wood is Mahogany, Rosewood, or vintage pre-war HPL. I thought that I might combine it with some detergents, surfactants, and various triglycerides, in order to make an efficacious cleaning and restoration compound. Right now they have an offer that includes their special applicator pads, made from lint free cotton, that's been recycled from hospital grade, infant apparel. And if I order in the next 24 hours, they'll send me not one, but two bottles, if I just pay for the extra processing.
Has anyone else tried this stuff before, and would it be safe to use? P.S. I've also heard rumors from the musician's underground, that when cryogenic-ally treated and mixed with special aromatic esters, and distilled spirits that are derived from peat roasted, malted grains, and imported at great expense from some faraway land (called Alba in ancient times), it can improve the sound of ANY guitar. However, it was unclear whether it was to be applied to the instrument, the player, or the audience. Happy Easter! (Oh,... and that other holiday too.)
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"I've spent most of my money on women, whiskey, and guitars,......... and the rest I just wasted." 2010 Martin OMC-28M LJ #218 (D-TAR Dual Source, and Solstice) 2008 Martin OMC-18 LJ #23 (K&K Pure Western) 2004 Martin DM (Fishman Matrix, and Pro EQ II) 2004 Taylor 314 (K&K Pure Western) 
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#2
04-01-2012, 12:27 AM
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Quote:
I didn't get mine on eBay. I stay up too late and saw a program on TV, with some Australian guy with a headset on. I don't know what it is about that guy, he just makes me want to buy anything he sells. Speaking of which, the Di-Hydrogen Monoxide works GREAT with the Sham-Wow I bought from him. Of course, you do have to use MORE of it because for some reason it keeps disappearing when used in this combination. Good stuff. I highly recommend it !
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2010 Guild F47R 2009 G & L Tribute "Legacy" 1975 Ovation Legend 1986 Ovation 1758 12 String 2007 Walden G2070 2008 Guild D55 Prototype 1998 Guild Starfire IV 2013 Guild Newark St. X-175B 2016 Guild Newark St. X-175 Sunburst 1996 Ovation 1768-7LTD " custom "
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#3
04-01-2012, 05:03 AM
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It also works great as a hair conditioner. I find that it gives my hair a healthy looking shine. And that once combed, it will stay in place for up to two days. Even during hurricane force winds! I like it so much, I'm thinking of buying the company.
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#4
04-01-2012, 05:14 AM
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Quote:
Within a week, all my fish had died! That's nasty stuff, indeed.
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Dan Carey (not Crary) A couple of guitars A Merida DG16 Classical Guitar A couple of banjos A Yueqin A Mountain Dulcimer that I built A Hammered Dulcimer that I'm currently building And a fiddle that I built! Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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#5
04-01-2012, 05:17 AM
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Man, I wish I had known they sold it. I spent the last year trying to set up my di-hydrogen plant and monoxide mining operation. It was really expensive, my first attempt was only producing mono-hydrogen so I had to pay double to get di-hydro...I can't believe I was such a sucker!
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#6
04-01-2012, 05:25 AM
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Are you SURE you want to use that stuff?
You DO know what fish do in it, right? 
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#7
04-01-2012, 07:59 AM
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#8
04-01-2012, 08:47 AM
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Where I live we're "infested" with the stuff to the point that it's flowing out of the taps in our sinks!
It's gotten so bad I wouldn't be surprised to see it falling from the sky. I certainly wouldn't be paying for it, much less using it on my guitars!
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#10
04-01-2012, 11:13 AM
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Quote:
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#11
04-01-2012, 06:35 PM
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Di-hydrogen monoxide is a very potent cleaner and it doesn't need to be used in concentrated form. Manufacturers don't want this knowledge to be disseminated but di-hydrogen monoxide can be used in a highly diluted form without affecting it's cleaning properties. I've been doing it for years, mixing one part di-hydrogen monoxide with 9 parts water, and saving tons of money. Some experimenters on the Internet claim it can be diluted to 1 part in 100 but that's doubtful. I mean you'd have almost nothing left but plain water!
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2011 Gibson J-45 Standard, Natural Finish 1968 Yamaha FG-150 Red Label 2011 Traveler Ultra Light Guitar
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#12
04-02-2012, 09:58 AM
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You have to use this substance with care as it can be, and often is, deadly if misused or used carelessly:
http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html Brad
__________________
Guild F212: 1964 (Hoboken), Guild Mark V: 1975 (Westerly), Guild Artist Award: 1975 (Westerly), Guild F50: 1976 (Westerly),Guild X170: 1988 (Westerly), Guild F512: 2010 (New Hartford), Pawless Mesquite Special: 2012, 90s Epi HR Custom (Samick), 2014 Guild OOO 12-fret Orpheum (New Hartford), 2013 12 fret Orpheum Dread (New Hartford).
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