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Old 03-31-2012, 11:57 PM
woody 525 woody 525 is offline
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Default Miraculous Martin guitar restorer?

There's a new product I've seen advertised on eBay for cleaning and restoring guitars. The manufacturer claims it's organic, non-toxic, and won't damage the nitro finish on my Martins. The product is supposed to be 100% pure Di-Hydrogen Monoxide, and an 8 oz. bottle sells for only $29.95 +S&H. It's made in the USA, but I've heard that there is a big difference in quality, depending on the region it's produced in, and that the best comes from the Adirondack area, although there are some who favor the German or Italian alpine variety. There's also different formulations depending on whether the wood is Mahogany, Rosewood, or vintage pre-war HPL. I thought that I might combine it with some detergents, surfactants, and various triglycerides, in order to make an efficacious cleaning and restoration compound. Right now they have an offer that includes their special applicator pads, made from lint free cotton, that's been recycled from hospital grade, infant apparel. And if I order in the next 24 hours, they'll send me not one, but two bottles, if I just pay for the extra processing.
Has anyone else tried this stuff before, and would it be safe to use?

P.S. I've also heard rumors from the musician's underground, that when cryogenic-ally treated and mixed with special aromatic esters, and distilled spirits that are derived from peat roasted, malted grains, and imported at great expense from some faraway land (called Alba in ancient times), it can improve the sound of ANY guitar. However, it was unclear whether it was to be applied to the instrument, the player, or the audience.

Happy Easter!
(Oh,... and that other holiday too.)
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Old 04-01-2012, 12:27 AM
JohnW63 JohnW63 is offline
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Quote:
The product is supposed to be 100% pure Di-Hydrogen Monoxide
AWESOME stuff ! I've used it before. Besides working on guitars, I've found it does wonders for the inhabitants of my fish tank. In fact, after using it for so long, I fear they are addicted to the stuff.

I didn't get mine on eBay. I stay up too late and saw a program on TV, with some Australian guy with a headset on. I don't know what it is about that guy, he just makes me want to buy anything he sells. Speaking of which, the Di-Hydrogen Monoxide works GREAT with the Sham-Wow I bought from him. Of course, you do have to use MORE of it because for some reason it keeps disappearing when used in this combination.

Good stuff. I highly recommend it !
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Old 04-01-2012, 05:03 AM
Fatstrat Fatstrat is offline
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It also works great as a hair conditioner. I find that it gives my hair a healthy looking shine. And that once combed, it will stay in place for up to two days. Even during hurricane force winds! I like it so much, I'm thinking of buying the company.
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Old 04-01-2012, 05:14 AM
Dan Carey Dan Carey is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnW63 View Post
AWESOME stuff ! I've used it before. Besides working on guitars, I've found it does wonders for the inhabitants of my fish tank. In fact, after using it for so long, I fear they are addicted to the stuff.

I didn't get mine on eBay. I stay up too late and saw a program on TV, with some Australian guy with a headset on. I don't know what it is about that guy, he just makes me want to buy anything he sells. Speaking of which, the Di-Hydrogen Monoxide works GREAT with the Sham-Wow I bought from him. Of course, you do have to use MORE of it because for some reason it keeps disappearing when used in this combination.

Good stuff. I highly recommend it !
Be careful using that stuff with your fish! I started adding it to my fish tanks and, after noticing some strange behavior, started removing it from their tanks.
Within a week, all my fish had died! That's nasty stuff, indeed.
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Old 04-01-2012, 05:17 AM
jeastman jeastman is offline
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Man, I wish I had known they sold it. I spent the last year trying to set up my di-hydrogen plant and monoxide mining operation. It was really expensive, my first attempt was only producing mono-hydrogen so I had to pay double to get di-hydro...I can't believe I was such a sucker!
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Old 04-01-2012, 05:25 AM
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Are you SURE you want to use that stuff?

You DO know what fish do in it, right?
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Old 04-01-2012, 07:59 AM
royd royd is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dan Carey View Post
Be careful using that stuff with your fish! I started adding it to my fish tanks and, after noticing some strange behavior, started removing it from their tanks.
Within a week, all my fish had died! That's nasty stuff, indeed.
Not just for fish... it is dangerous stuff for people too! Wherever present, volume per volume it completely displaces all air and you only need to inhale a relatively small amount to cause serious problems or death. Ingesting it is less a problem but still can be dangerous in large enough amounts. Likewise, skin contact can be tolerated for short periods but after a while it begins to cause skin problems too. Be careful!
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Old 04-01-2012, 08:47 AM
razorfish razorfish is offline
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Where I live we're "infested" with the stuff to the point that it's flowing out of the taps in our sinks!

It's gotten so bad I wouldn't be surprised to see it falling from the sky.

I certainly wouldn't be paying for it, much less using it on my guitars!
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Old 04-01-2012, 11:10 AM
Zigeuner Zigeuner is offline
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It's reasonably useful for cleaning purposes and you can actually drink it, unless you live in L.A. or Fresno. You can't really drink it in those towns.
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Old 04-01-2012, 11:13 AM
Neal Neal is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by razorfish View Post
Where I live we're "infested" with the stuff to the point that it's flowing out of the taps in our sinks!

It's gotten so bad I wouldn't be surprised to see it falling from the sky.

I certainly wouldn't be paying for it, much less using it on my guitars!
Fracking?


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Old 04-01-2012, 06:35 PM
rodmeister rodmeister is offline
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Di-hydrogen monoxide is a very potent cleaner and it doesn't need to be used in concentrated form. Manufacturers don't want this knowledge to be disseminated but di-hydrogen monoxide can be used in a highly diluted form without affecting it's cleaning properties. I've been doing it for years, mixing one part di-hydrogen monoxide with 9 parts water, and saving tons of money. Some experimenters on the Internet claim it can be diluted to 1 part in 100 but that's doubtful. I mean you'd have almost nothing left but plain water!
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Old 04-02-2012, 09:58 AM
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You have to use this substance with care as it can be, and often is, deadly if misused or used carelessly:
http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html
Brad
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