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  #151  
Old 07-13-2018, 04:54 PM
Ozzy the dog Ozzy the dog is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cotten View Post
Best Guitarist or Musician Jokes? Well, calling me the Best Guitarist or Musician would be a joke...

cotten
You can't be considered a joke when you've played in the Albert Hall........

...... Or did you play with a bloke called Albert Hall? .....and was he full of holes?
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  #152  
Old 07-28-2018, 10:35 AM
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Tele1111 Tele1111 is offline
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Hereís a new one:



Mark
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  #153  
Old 02-11-2019, 06:00 PM
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Tele1111 Tele1111 is offline
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Itís one louder....


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  #154  
Old 02-14-2019, 01:40 PM
gimme789 gimme789 is offline
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What did the Dead-Head say when he ran out of weed ?
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This music sucks.


No offense intended as I like GD music, but it's still funny to me !!!
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  #155  
Old 02-14-2019, 02:34 PM
PHJim PHJim is offline
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Q - What's the difference between a puppy and a singer/songwriter?
A - The puppy eventually quits whining.

Q - How many folkies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A - 6, One to put in the new bulb and 5 to complain about it being electric.

A man holding a large bag tries to enter an Irish pub, but is stopped by the Publican, who says, "Stop right there mate and tell me what you have in that bag."
The man tells him it's 40 pounds of plastic explosives.
The publican says, "All right, go on in. I thought it might have been a bodhran."

Two record executives enter a studio where a 60 piece orchestra is recording a take. One says to the other, "Man, I bet that put two or three synth players outa work."

Q - How do you make a violin sound like a viola?
A - Stand in the back and don't play very well.

Here's an old one, but I don't think I've seen it here yet.

Q - If you drop a banjo and a set of bagpipes from an airplane travelling at 20,000 metres, which one hits the ground first?
A - Who cares?

I recall a cartoon in the Banjo Newsletter showing an obviously tipsy man with a party hat and a martini in his hand at the door. A guy with a banjo around his neck has just answered the door and the tipsy caller says, "Do you mind? We're trying to have a party downstairs."
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  #156  
Old 02-21-2019, 12:17 PM
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Charmed Life Picks Charmed Life Picks is offline
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All great, Jim. I HAD heard the one about the airplane and 20,000 feet, but a good joke never gets old.

The first one is great, although it does strike a little too close too home. Hah!

Thanks, Jim!
Scott
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  #157  
Old 02-21-2019, 02:16 PM
BFD BFD is offline
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Q: Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?
A: It saves time in the long run.

Q: What is another term for trombone?
A: A wind driven, manually operated, pitch approximator.

Q: What is the dynamic range of a bass trombone?
A: On or off.

Q: What's the difference between an opera singer and a pit bull?
A: Lipstick.

Q: Why are violist's fingers like lightning?
A: They rarely strike the same spot twice.

Tuba Player: "Did you hear my last recital?"
Friend: "I hope so."

Q: What do you call a Tubist correctly noticing the key signature?
A: Astute.
Q: What do you call a tubist actually playing the correct key signature?
A: Gifted.

Q: How does one trumpet player greet another?
A: "Hi. I'm better than you."

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  #158  
Old 02-21-2019, 06:27 PM
Zandit75 Zandit75 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BFD View Post
Q: What is the dynamic range of a bass trombone?
A: On or off.

I play Bass Trombone........This is hauntingly accurate!!!
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