Maybe Performing Live Isn't For Me?

[fpuhan]

I've now been performing live once a week for going on eight months now. And every time I take the stage, I completely foul up. I forget lyrics, I miss chord changes, my fingers fumble during the leads, and nothing seems to go right. I'm not a new player. In fact, I've been playing 55+ years.

Last night it happened again. I practiced two songs solely for two weeks preparing for my time (it's a club where each performer gets a slot of eight minutes to play). I had them nailed. I dreamt the lyrics in my sleep. I even practiced my introductions and watched the clock to make sure my timing was down.

Then I flubbed it. The intro to the first song found my fingers tangling. I forgot lyrics, chord changes -- yep, all the above. The second number was no better.

"We're all here having fun and appreciating people taking the stage" I was reminded. Sure. But what is it about taking the stage that throws everything a-kilter? I can play in front of groups of people, but when the lights come on and the mic is in front of my face, some sort of mental curtain descends and I'm just unable to produce.

I'm at a loss. I've tried "performing" during practice, but even lights and a mic don't have the same affect on me.

Is this normal? Is it just me? Am I maybe just not made to be center stage? I'm thinking of taking a break from live performing, as I feel quite deflated afterwards.

[Draft Guitar]

I don't perform music live, but I do a lot of presentations to various groups, some small, some quite large.

I used to practice, memorize, and do all those things that we believe we are supposed to do. All it did was lead to more anxiety. About 8 years ago I knew I needed to get this under control. I thought about who I could learn from, a great public speaker. I started watching speeches that former president Obama made. I noticed that he was talking, not reciting. I incorporated that into my public speaking and it worked beautifully. I rarely rehearse speeches any more, my focus is getting in front of an audience and talking about what I know, my experiences, in my own way.

My take-away is to relax on the pre-event practices. Practice as you normally do and go to the event knowing that you have the skills nailed down. This should help you relax a great deal and just be in the moment. If you can overcome the anxiety, you will be amazed how well you can actually perform.

I wish you the best of luck!

[CASD57]

I did a BBQ last weekend...Family thing but the kicker was my Ex was there with her new husband.and blah blah lol...But the even worse part..was that she was the lead singer in a Band we were in some years ago...
Well, and my now-Wife was there so it was a nerve jerker for sure...
Yes I made mistakes...I changed outro's and I skipped songs..

But in the end very few people knew I made my mistakes as I kept a poker face Something I learned on stage in a couple of bands... "Don't let the Crazies see you sweat" Lol

Have fun...don't worry about the mistake

Now this next part isn't for everybody but after I had a beer everything went smoother and my shaking hand was less But never over do this part..or your in bigger trouble ...

[Rick Jones]

Sounds like tension, from nerves.

Obviously I'm not you, so I can't be sure what you're feeling, but I would hazard a guess that you 'tighten up' when there's a crowd before you.

I have been gigging since my teens and I'm now in my late forties, for hefty chunks of my life it was my sole income.

Yet if I have more than a week or two off playing live, I still experience this (to a lesser extent than you), and what happens on those gigs is that little fills, runs, any ad-libs and often my upper vocal range go somewhat out of the window, as I am tight, operating in my neo-cortex and worrying about just getting through the song without making great clanging mistakes.

My chest goes tight, and I am not breathing fully. I get the same sometimes when recording something that I've only just committed to memory... and that's bad as I also play sessions for a paycheck a few times a year. In fact, it's worse as your mistakes are on the record, literally!

The thing is, it DOES go away. When I started playing consecutive nights in a chain of hotels many years ago, by week two it was like playing in my front room. I could do anything I could play or sing at home and sometimes even better as I began to enjoy audience reactions.

I think the key is to do it as much as you can (assuming you DO want to do more of it, of course) and get used to it until the fear is gone.

You memorised the songs but the situation is novel. Now you need to make that situation commonplace enough so that it's just 'this, again' to your brain.

Can I also suggest that at the moment you have somewhat programmed yourself to expect it to be as it was the previous times... I know what that's like but you have to let it go and realise that only the moment matters.

On that subject, don't fear making mistakes. If you do, live, just keep going. That moment is gone as soon as it came. No one will remember, if they even noticed at all.

Wishing you the best of luck and many happy, relaxed gigs to come.

[SGFletch]

Keep your head up. One live performance is worth like 10 practice sessions, give or take. I find that I don't feel like I "have" a tune until I've played it live, often a few times, and even if it is a trainwreck.

Getting through a few bungled attempts live usually gives me the confidence to relax a little, which is generally the key to playing better.

Another thing is, unless you are making your living at this or playing at a certain high level of expectations, people in the audience don't generally care about you being perfect.

So, I'd say keep charging forward. Keep working at it. Keep playing live. You will learn to relax a little more each time and probably play a little better when you are loose.

It's all about reps. It's like a muscle. Work it and it will grow stronger.

[Robin, Wales]

It is normal - everyone experiences it to some extent. I certainly do!!!

You could be overthinking this. And I mean, literally, overthinking this.

All your practice is to drive your hand movements and lyrics into your non-conscious. Music is too fast and complicated to be performed while being processed through your conscious mind, which is why we practice to make things "automatic". So, under pressure, when you search for those playing skills they are not there in your conscious mind (because you have practiced to make them non-conscious) and when you do find and lift those skills out of your non-conscious, guess what, they go backwards. You can't remember how to do things because you have practiced precisely so that you don't have to remember how to do things.

The solution? Well distraction can work. Keep your head up, keep looking around the room, keep in contact with the here and now - stay in the moment - don't think about playing. And TRUST that your non-conscious self will find the chords and lyrics, licks and fills without you consciously thinking about them.

Recognise what adrenaline is doing to your body physically. Feel how it is affecting your fine motor skills. Always kick off with a song that's easy - really easy, that can be played with big hand movements rather than fine skills. Not one that needs an intro. That will settle you. And tell the audience about what you are experiencing - they will be on your side.

I kick off with something like this - because it opens with voice, not guitar, so it pitches me straight into the audience. And the guitar is really simple.





And I practice making mistakes - I will repeat verses, or extent turnarounds while lyrics come to me, or miss out instrumental breaks (or add instrumental breaks) because I know that I'm likely to not play something perfectly. The audience won't notice. Sierra Ferrell, in the video above messes up the vocals for the verse at 0.45 seconds - she sings the start of one verse and the end of another, and she has a little smile to herself about it.

Play with someone else - This is a great way to share the load. If there is a good harp player, or singer, or whoever who turn up regularly then get them up to support you.

[jjbigfly]

Keep in mind that not everyone wants/needs to play in public.
But…..
The first time I played a gig I was in college, It was in a trio. Just prior to starting I let the stage manager know that he should NOT open the curtain until we started playing. I just knew that if I saw the crowd before starting I was going to die a horrible death of some sort in front of the audience…..But it worked and the music was fine.
If you know the music, take a STEP UP! There is some level of confidence you should have. The “basic I can do this” attitude. YOU are the entertainer and you CAN pull this off. I like to start with a simple tune that I know well just to get me into the flow. If you can take the stage with a bit of confidence it will make all the difference in the world, and after that it can generally feel easier. You can look at your audience and see that they are wanting to hear the next song YOU play. Similar to giving a speech.
IF you get into live music you will see that it is quite the trip.

[Silly Moustache]

Originally Posted by fpuhan

I've now been performing live once a week for going on eight months now. And every time I take the stage, I completely foul up. I forget lyrics, I miss chord changes, my fingers fumble during the leads, and nothing seems to go right. I'm not a new player. In fact, I've been playing 55+ years.

Last night it happened again. I practiced two songs solely for two weeks preparing for my time (it's a club where each performer gets a slot of eight minutes to play). I had them nailed. I dreamt the lyrics in my sleep. I even practiced my introductions and watched the clock to make sure my timing was down.

Then I flubbed it. The intro to the first song found my fingers tangling. I forgot lyrics, chord changes -- yep, all the above. The second number was no better.

"We're all here having fun and appreciating people taking the stage" I was reminded. Sure. But what is it about taking the stage that throws everything a-kilter? I can play in front of groups of people, but when the lights come on and the mic is in front of my face, some sort of mental curtain descends and I'm just unable to produce.

I'm at a loss. I've tried "performing" during practice, but even lights and a mic don't have the same affect on me.

Is this normal? Is it just me? Am I maybe just not made to be center stage? I'm thinking of taking a break from live performing, as I feel quite deflated afterwards.

hi, I think everyone has experienced this to varying degrees.
It is performance nerves and it is normal.

I'm writing this as I should be getting on the road to lay a club that I haven't been to since 2018, and I'm well out of practice although sitting rehearsing this morning "I was great" but I know I'll make some flubs tonight.

Please take the time to watch this, it may help :

[KevWind]

Couple thoughts and suggestions
First 8 months is still a beginner in the big picture


As mentioned stage fright is real and everyone experiences it to some degree or another,, and as you have discovered there is literally no comparison between nailing it in practice, and nailing it on stage.

That said ::
#1 I would say from your post that two weeks ( of whatever your current practice routine is ) is not enough

#2 What is your "practice routine" is it daily for 1-2 hours playing the same two songs ?

# 3 can you play those two songs all the way through no mistakes, in total darkness ? If not then you most likely are not practiced enough to not flub up, on stage .

Suggestion :: I do a similar thing playing at a weekly open mic 2 songs only.
#1 I try to do at least 5 days a week 1 1/2 to 2 hours each practice.
#2 Then what I do is stagger my practice sessions,,,that is to say I select the songs I am going to play for a month in advance I spend the first 1/2 hour playing the two songs I am going to play at the next open mic 15 minutes each . Then I spend the next 1/2 hour playing the two songs I am going to play in two weeks... Then I then spend about 10-15 minutes on the songs for 3 weeks out and then 10-15 minutes on songs 4 weeks out
So by the time I take the stage I have a minimum of 4 weeks of 5 days a week practice on the two songs .

#3 And I always check in the dark, or eyes closed. And yet occasionally I will flub up BUT it is usually minor and I can hide it. So that in the next instant I am right back on track.. ((HINT)) if you make a mistake most of the time you should not stop and go back--- if you can just keep going in time/ on beat..


Consider :: There was a quote from some professional performer

"Amateurs practice until they Get It Right..
Pros practice until they Can't Get it Wrong"

Strive for being a pro ,,,because when you don't have to worry about the chord changes or the lyrics --You can begin to focus on how to perform in your personal style and how the song makes you feel -- which is the mark of a professional and the audience will definitely pick up on that ...

And lastly most open mic's have music stands and you can always bring cheat sheets with the chords and lyrics until such time that can feel confident without it ... Personally from a listeners perspective I would rather see you use a cheat sheet then listen to you stumble around with wrong chords etc.

[JackC1]

Originally Posted by fpuhan

]
Is this normal? Is it just me? Am I maybe just not made to be center stage? I'm thinking of taking a break from live performing, as I feel quite deflated afterwards.

It's normal, but to have it happen (4 * 8 = 32 times straight) makes me think your practice routine needs evaluating.

This is just a guess. For stage prep, a few more practice steps: have multiple starting locations in the songs; practice thru mistakes. The second one isn't good for regular practice but essential for stage.

[rmp]

The first thing that comes to mind is what kind of "stuff" are you trying to play?

Is it easy stuff for you to play? Are you just getting lost in the moment when you're up there?

for me..
I'm a big believer in the "stay in your lane" approach so when I'm doing a solo gig, I'm pretty much playing songs that are in my wheelhouse.

Confidence rules the day when you're performing alone.

[Mike_Dee]

Originally Posted by jjbigfly

If you know the music, take a STEP UP! There is some level of confidence you should have. The “basic I can do this” attitude. YOU are the entertainer and you CAN pull this off. I like to start with a simple tune that I know well just to get me into the flow. If you can take the stage with a bit of confidence it will make all the difference in the world, and after that it can generally feel easier. You can look at your audience and see that they are wanting to hear the next song YOU play. Similar to giving a speech.
IF you get into live music you will see that it is quite the trip.

THIS! I am pretty new to performing live, I am in my 40's and never thought I would ever play gigs, but I love it. My voice coach tells me this, she says you are there to entertain people, tell them a story through the songs. So on my way to each gig I just say, I am a storyteller, just tell them the story.

Keep a positive attitude. The other tip that has helped me, it to say something, anything before you start playing, tell a joke, just something so you hear your voice over the pa system and it also lets the audience know you are human and they can relate, instead of just getting up there are start playing/singing right away.

Every few songs I will tell them why I chose this song, or what the song means, etc. Every time at least 1 person comes up to me after and says they enjoy knowing why I chose that song, etc.

Keep going, you got this!

[fpuhan]

Thank you for some very supportive and encouraging replies. Some of the suggestions are very helpful, some I do already, and some don't apply. But I appreciate the feedback from fellow guitar players, regardless of content.

[Mandobart]

I've done most of my performances (going back to school days) as a member of a group - full orchestra, jazz combo, string quartets, 4 to 5 piece bands, trios and duo.

I've also done a lot of solo gigs. Consider sharing the performance load with a partner or 2. Someone else to help keep you on track, pickup forgotten chords/lyrics etc.

This is a whole 'nother can of vigorous discussion, but do you use memory aids? Lyric/chord sheets if unobtrusive can be a help for many.

[6L6]

In the 8th grade my English teacher enrolled me in a public speaking contest hosted annually by the Optimist Club International. I did the contest for two years and it was the most beneficial educational experience of my life, college studies included.

One thing to keep in mind is that most of the performers aren’t focusing on you. Rather, they are thinking about their own upcoming time at the mic and hoping they don’t screw up!

Unless you’re looking for a record deal and know a company exec is in the audience to check you out (Adele, Tracy Chapman, and Jewel were all discovered at Open Mics), just chill out and enjoy the experience. Don’t overthink things! Just imagine you’re in your favorite playing room at home and let it happen.