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  #16  
Old 03-12-2016, 09:34 AM
billder99 billder99 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ditch View Post
...One guy said he really studies the words and memorizes them. Sorry my memory was never good, at 63 that won't happen.
Ditch, I am 60 and I can relate, went thru the same thing a few years ago. I have never had a good memory, and of course it is growing worse. There is a history of dementia in my family, and I am fearful I am headed that way.

A friend of mine (professional studio player) said, "Of course you can't memorize a song... as long as you say you can't." He showed me a technique for learning a song, and he said "Just learn one, that will prove you CAN if you focus and choose to learn."

Forcing myself to memorize songs has changed many things for me. I no longer give in to age or use it as an excuse, not in any endeavor. Trust me, you can do this!!

One other thing I learned... you will never truly connect with a song until you set yourself free of the "training wheels" (written lyrics and chords). You need to know a song so well that you can focus on the more subtle aspects of musicianship... breathing, relaxation, timing, dynamics, articulation, etc.

If you want to try this, PM me... we can talk on the phone... I will tell you how to learn a song.
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  #17  
Old 03-12-2016, 09:42 PM
Ditch Ditch is offline
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Thanks everyone, this forum is so cool and helpful.
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  #18  
Old 03-13-2016, 06:51 AM
FantasticMrFox FantasticMrFox is offline
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All guitar playing aside, how great is it that as an introvert, as a beginner, in retirement you are doing something so obviously far outside your comfort zone. That is awesome my friend.
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  #19  
Old 03-13-2016, 08:09 AM
jammer99 jammer99 is offline
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Just a bit confused here.. The OP says "...if you want to improve you need to play with other musicians". The comments are all about playing FOR others. If the need is to improve guitar skills, then just play with a bunch of people. Why linking this to performance skills? The 2 are not the same. Apply this in any context. In a business environment, there are people who know their stuff and are awful presenters. Conversely, there are airheads who have no problem with presenting to a crowd. Always nice to have someone who knows their stuff and is a great presenter. One tends to remember those, and they are few and far between.
So...what is the goal here? Performance is a nice-to-have AFTER mastering technique etc..
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  #20  
Old 03-13-2016, 09:08 AM
Wyllys Wyllys is offline
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"I" can't play anything, but if I know the tune well enough to sing then I can play along with the music independent of "I".

I'd rather that people listen in on me enjoying being a conduit for the music than watching me worry and suffer over the guitar, so I play in service to the music and the Muse.

It's fun when you can relax and let it happen.
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  #21  
Old 03-13-2016, 11:00 AM
JonPR JonPR is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jammer99 View Post
Just a bit confused here.. The OP says "...if you want to improve you need to play with other musicians". The comments are all about playing FOR others.
His post was mostly about playing solo, for others, "in public".

"it took a few weeks for me to get the courage to play in front of people..."
I did two songs and the crowd really enjoyed them both ... "
"This week the nerves creped in again. I couldn't make it through a simple "G,C,D song ... "
"Put people in front of me and I forget everything..."
"I really don't think playing in public is for me..


The quote you mention is the advice he gets from other people (you left off that part of the sentence).

Normally a "jam" does mean playing with other people. But the sense I got from the rest of his post was that it was what I'd call an "open mic", where any individual can turn up and play a couple of songs in a public environment, like a bar or club.
That's certainly nerve-wracking if you're new to it, and sometimes it goes well and sometimes it doesn't (as the OP found).
Quote:
Originally Posted by jammer99 View Post
If the need is to improve guitar skills, then just play with a bunch of people.
That's true, and my advice did include a suggestion to find other people to play with: as in perform alongside (in a duo or band), rather than just take your turn with a bunch of other solo performers.
But his main concern was how nerves affected his performance. Not that he didn't have the necessary guitar skills (in private), but that those skills diminished - even disastrously - when performing in public.
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  #22  
Old 03-13-2016, 05:18 PM
D.Traylor D.Traylor is offline
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Ditch,
I admire your courage for getting up there. I admire anyone who faces any kind of fear.

I was never one to be loose & relaxed and was always Mr. Serious. One day I decided I wanted to listen to live music and dance. I had never danced and really felt like a goofball but did it anyway.

Two things helped me that might help you.

When we worry what others are thinking of us, we are worrying about what "impression" we are making. So try to remind yourself "expression NOT Impression". You are just doing your thing.

Another silly thing that everyone has heard when in front of other people, even those of status, just picture them in their underwear! Suddenly impressing them isn't as important.

Soon I hope to be good enough to try an open mic and want you to know I find your courage to get back up and do it again an inspiration.
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  #23  
Old 03-13-2016, 06:41 PM
Ditch Ditch is offline
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Exactly JonPR
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  #24  
Old 03-14-2016, 05:51 PM
jasperguitar jasperguitar is offline
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Ditch ... if I lived nearby, I'd go with ya ... we could bomb together .. and we'd be great at it .... I'd keep a few really good off color jokes in my pocket .. and we'd also keep a large piece of paper with chords/music/lyrics nearby ...

Oh, and by the way ........ there is no such thing as bombing

It was "your rendition" ...

Rock on
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  #25  
Old 03-14-2016, 09:03 PM
Ditch Ditch is offline
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Ha ! Thanks Jasper. After a terrible practice today I need a good laugh.
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  #26  
Old 03-15-2016, 02:45 AM
JonPR JonPR is offline
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Also remember what the great Miles Davis said: "Do not fear mistakes. There are none."

Like jasper says, it's "your rendition". What might sound like a "mistake" to some is really just an "interesting sound". (Better to be interesting than predictable... "Oh, yawn, he's played that song 100% accurately AGAIN....")

More seriously, always remember that you are much more alert to "mistakes" than the audience is. They often don't notice, especially if you just play on through them. And even if they do notice, you get extra points for playing on through coolly (like a pro).
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  #27  
Old 03-15-2016, 04:57 AM
Bunnyf Bunnyf is offline
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Default Been there!

Ditch, I feel you. I've only been playing for about five years and started in my 50s. I did start getting used to the idea of performing by playing in public places (like the beach, park, camping), near people but not for people.

I play a couple times a week at jams now. I do take my iPad as I have trouble committing songs to memory and even if I have a song down very well, I might choke under pressure and blank out. No shame in bringing a cheat sheet, many players do and I have seen many more who don't bring them have had to stop cuz they couldn't remember the words, or they skipped verses or wandered aimlessly through a song. Depending on your anxiety level, you may be able to just feel good knowing its there and not use it or only glance at it occasionally. But as one guy in my jam said, when he's feeling particularly nervous, he can't look away from his sheet or he will lose his place and then the panick really starts.

As others have said, it can help if you really pare down to just a few absolute favorite performance pieces. Maybe ones where you are already super familiar with the lyric and easy chord progressions. I see some guys play the same few songs week in and week out. I can't tell you how many times I've heard "Wagonwheel" or "Take Me Home Country Road" but they always go over well. I like to different stuff, so I absolutely need my sheets. A few confident songs would probably be best though, until you get much more comfortable.

I also noticed (just the last time I played a few days ago), the audience got exceptionally large and I got more nervous. I just picked a very easy, popular tune and kept my eyes following my sheet and all went well.

If you like to perform, stay at it but just make it easier on yourself. If you're really not ready, play in smaller groups, without the audience and work your way up. It's good to put yourself out there but also to know your comfort level. Hey, it's suppose to be fun!
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  #28  
Old 03-15-2016, 05:18 AM
Tone Monster Tone Monster is offline
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How long have you been playing?
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  #29  
Old 03-15-2016, 07:35 AM
Pualee Pualee is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ditch View Post
Last night was a weekly jam I have been gong to for a few months. I'm fairly new to playing so it took a few weeks for me to get the courage to play in front of people. I had several bombs at first which I expected. I'm a very shy person and this is so far out of my comfort zone. A lot of people keep saying if you want to improve you need to play with other musicians. So I keep going back. Last week I did well. I did two songs and the crowd really enjoyed them both. This week the nerves creped in again. I couldn't make it through a simple G,C,D song. It's surely not from lack of practice. I practice at least four hours a day plus when ever I get a free minute I pick the guitar up for a quick song or scale. I can play songs great at home. Put people in front of me and I forget everything. That's even with family. Every one was kind there but I felt like a total loser. One guy said he really studies the words and memorizes them. Sorry my memory was never good, at 63 that won't happen. I have to have the words in front of me. I really don't think playing in public is for me.
I played solo on Sunday, and also felt like I bombed it. But, afterwards a young kid came up to me and asked for lessons... and a guy from another church came up and asked me what the songs were so they could cover them too...

Everyone here says we are our own worst critics. I do believe that is very true. When I started I over analyzed every mistake and I found a few things that are critical to my success...

1. Practice at home the same way I will play when I am out - standing, singing, at volume, even with the music stand in the exact same position. Otherwise, I am training my head/eye movement in the wrong direction when I need the next line.

2. Back off and play something that is relatively easy - this is hard to do when everything is a beginner song... but by easy - pick something you know better than everything else. Lets be honest, you may not memorize, but I bet there are a few songs where you need a lyric/chord sheet less than others.

3. Embrace the nervous energy. Expect it so it does not distract you.

4. Smile and look like you are having a good time.

5. Find someone to jam with, alone. For me, even playing in front of a teach gave me fits (for a few weeks). Eventually, it goes away.

If you want to play with others, do it. If you keep 'bombing' at the same venue, change. Maybe a song circle or jam isn't what you need right now. Find someone that will play on the front porch. Once you condition yourself to expect to fail in that environment, it will happen every time. Change the environment.
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  #30  
Old 03-15-2016, 07:38 PM
Ditch Ditch is offline
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Coming up on one year very soon.
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