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  #1  
Old 01-07-2022, 10:08 AM
phydaux phydaux is offline
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Default Help me with a blues number

The women at work are still listening to Christmas music. I could only power through listening to Grown Up Christmas List so many times BEFORE Christmas. No way I can handle that now.

I tried to talk them into playing some delta blues, but to no avail. So I started singing some blues. This is what I've come up with so far:


My woman left me, then she stole my car
Run over my dog before she left the yard
And I tell you... I sure do miss that dog


I'm fairly sure I've got a blues classic in the making. I just need some help fleshing it out.

More verses! What have you got?
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  #2  
Old 01-07-2022, 12:07 PM
JonPR JonPR is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phydaux View Post
The women at work are still listening to Christmas music. I could only power through listening to Grown Up Christmas List so many times BEFORE Christmas. No way I can handle that now.

I tried to talk them into playing some delta blues, but to no avail. So I started singing some blues. This is what I've come up with so far:


My woman left me, then she stole my car
Run over my dog before she left the yard
And I tell you... I sure do miss that dog


I'm fairly sure I've got a blues classic in the making. I just need some help fleshing it out.

More verses! What have you got?
Well, firstly your last line doesn't rhyme . Repeat the first line instead, so the "run over my dog" is the 3rd line.

If you use the 3rd line as part of another verse, you have to find a rhyme for dog - which is not easy. (I mean, there a few rhymes, but not easy to fit into the theme.)
Maybe change it to "I sure miss that dog, he was my only friend." Repeat that, then something like "My heart is sure broken, it ain't never going to mend."

Actually, the heart is broken line might be better as the first couple of lines, so the dog being your friend is the punch line! (You're not heartbroken because your woman left! )

My heart is sure broken, it ain't never going to mend
Lawd my heart is sure broken, it ain't never going to mend
I sure miss that dog, he was my only friend

Next verse:

I feel like gettin' drunk, head down to my local bar
Get out of my mind, down at my local bar
But it's 10 miles away, and my woman done stole my car

Now carry on...
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Last edited by JonPR; 01-07-2022 at 12:13 PM.
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  #3  
Old 01-07-2022, 02:44 PM
phydaux phydaux is offline
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Hmm. I was thinking of doing an AAB CCB rhyming scheme, with "And I tell you... I sure do miss that dog" ending every verse.

I was mulling over how before she left she cheated on him with his brother, now they've run off together, and he sure does miss that dog.

She emptied the bank account, took all the money. And before she left she took his last bottle of booze, and he sure does miss that dog.

And he wasn't just his brother, he was him employer. So now he's also out of work, and he sure does miss that dog.
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  #4  
Old 01-07-2022, 02:56 PM
phydaux phydaux is offline
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I agree that for traditional 12 bar blues the first line is repeated. I was going for more of a Johnny Cash Folsom Prison, Cocaine Blues, Boy Named Sue feel.
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  #5  
Old 01-08-2022, 09:26 AM
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Mr. Jelly Mr. Jelly is offline
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Bad luck and trouble will never end
My woman left me and took my best friend
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  #6  
Old 01-09-2022, 05:00 AM
JonPR JonPR is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Jelly View Post
Bad luck and trouble will never end
My woman left me and took my best friend
Classic blues lyric:

"The woman I love, stole her from my best friend
That joker got lucky, stole her back again."
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Old 01-09-2022, 07:53 AM
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ssstewart ssstewart is offline
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got them dog gone blues
and im dog gone blue
be a long time yet
for another loving pet

dog gone blues letting
me to keep on fretting
at least when i play
i dont think about today

making this guitar cry
like the tears in my eyes
i cant do it anymore
cause of that 2 bit w...
and i tell you, i sure do miss that dog
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  #8  
Old 01-09-2022, 09:25 AM
Scuzzo Scuzzo is offline
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My dog left me today
My woman stole my old rusty car
Lost my job on Friday
Monday I'm gonna be drinking hard
At some busted out bar

You know the story
You heard the news
Ain't no use in frighten it
When ya got the
Untrustful woman and backstabbing dog
Blues.
(I sure do miss that dog)
(That alright I still got my guitar)

Then launch in to the guitar solo.. lol

Well ,, it's a start

Last edited by Scuzzo; 01-09-2022 at 09:50 AM.
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  #9  
Old 01-09-2022, 06:44 PM
antvas1963 antvas1963 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JonPR View Post
Well, firstly your last line doesn't rhyme . Repeat the first line instead, so the "run over my dog" is the 3rd line.

If you use the 3rd line as part of another verse, you have to find a rhyme for dog - which is not easy. (I mean, there a few rhymes, but not easy to fit into the theme.)
Maybe change it to "I sure miss that dog, he was my only friend." Repeat that, then something like "My heart is sure broken, it ain't never going to mend."

Actually, the heart is broken line might be better as the first couple of lines, so the dog being your friend is the punch line! (You're not heartbroken because your woman left! )

My heart is sure broken, it ain't never going to mend
Lawd my heart is sure broken, it ain't never going to mend
I sure miss that dog, he was my only friend

Next verse:

I feel like gettin' drunk, head down to my local bar
Get out of my mind, down at my local bar
But it's 10 miles away, and my woman done stole my car

Now carry on...
Very nice!
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