In Praise of Assisted Living Gigs

[Mary]

My brother, 20 years retired Marine, had a VA aide who dropped by to see him once a week. He had a harsh attitude at first because he felt it was an invasion of his space and time. Once she showed an interest in his McKnight guitar, the story and his singing he loved her visits and looked forward to her stories about her grandpa - who was his age.

[zeeway]

I am part of a local group called "Just Good Enough"...we have singers and several guitar players, keyboard, sax, sometimes even a violin. This is a Christian ministry that brings music and faith messages to people in various kinds of homes. The format is a singalong, with songbooks provided. There are about eight visitations per month, and I make about half of them.

We have also seen people that seem to be almost comatose, start singing songs they remember from years ago. We get a lot of thank-you's, but we get more out of it than they do. Our leader, Dan, has been doing this for 23 years.

[MChild62]

This is a wonderful post, and all I can say is that, no matter what your skill level, you can do a world of good and have fun at the same time. If all you can do is strum a few chords, no worries. There's an appreciative crowd waiting.

My mom is in an assisted living memory unit, and the first time that I brought my guitar over, I was very nervous about intruding on the caregivers, not being disruptive. Long story short, by my second time over, the staff was joining in the sing alongs and helping pick stuff the residents would know (fyi - twist & shout, amazing grace, and turkey in the straw always seem to perk up even the most memory-impaired, no matter what cultural background).

Now every time I'm in town and visiting my mom, the staff asks when I'm bringing my guitar, and they schedule sessions.

What I've learned is that usually these places have almost no budget for entertainment, which is a shame because live music just does something to engage residents, especially when they can participate and sing along.

Also, the benefit/good feelings of the residents seems to last. Anxieties fade. I remember one woman who had recently been located at this place by her family, and who looked very scared by her new surroundings and was perpetually wandering to the gate looking for her husband. When we started up the sing-alongs, she came over and joined in, and after that seemed much more at ease.

If you have a guitar, any guitar, just do it!

[drumstrummer]

Let me build the chorus of this great thread by adding my experience. Playing for myself is fun for awhile, but gets stale. Whoever put the soundhole on the front of the guitar is giving us a clue: the guitar was designed for sharing music with others. Nursing homes, group homes, assisted livings, classrooms, libraries... these are easy ways to share your talents and my very favorite places to play.

[Gordon Currie]

I've posted this before, but if there is ANYONE reading this thread who has not seen the indie documentary Alive Inside, you are in for a treat. It details a music therapist who uses music to stimulate and awaken patients with severe dementia and brain injuries.

We just played our first assisted living facility this week and it was fantastic. We were concerned that our mostly original material might not go over well, but they loved our performance and we had great conversations with some of them afterwards. They were as attentive as any audience I've ever had, and no one was checking their cell phones

At a certain age, many of us release all the 'shoulds' and societal structures that might keep us from enjoying life. It is inspiring to see and even more rewarding to support.

[Nyghthawk]

On the unit where I work there is a woman with profound dementia. She frequently has to be reminded where the female restroom is. I looked up last Wednesday during my Reminiscence Group set and the normally deadpan expression had been replaced with a big smile and she was singing along to "I Saw the Light" by Hank Williams, Sr.

That, my friends, is priceless.

Whatever your skill level, just do this. It is one of the greatest rewards you can get. IMHO

[archerscreek]

Very cool. This is how I got started playing live years ago, but I haven't done one in quite awhile and was looking to start again soon.

Do you play unplugged? I was thinking of doing some of both, purely playing an unamplified acoustic guitar in the room and also thinking of playing some stuff over prerecorded piano loops. As far as the prerecorded stuff I was hoping for an all in one acoustic amp with loop storage but have no idea if one is actually out there.

[soao]

This is a letter I sent to my mother in law several years ago.

This is the chorus for the song "Three Little Birds" by the late Bob Marley.

Chorus:
Don't worry, about a thing
Cause' every little thing, gonna be alright
Don't worry, about a thing
Cause' every little thing, gonna be alright

This became the theme song for Noah. No one thought he'd make it out of the delivery room much less celebrate his high school graduation. He is special needs all the way. He has the body of a 6 year old and has been wheel chair bound his entire life. There is no problem I've ever had or thought of that should even be mentioned compared to Noah, who's only luck has been bad. On Sunday, his parents had a celebration for not only Noah but for the team of support people who have cared for him.
One of those people is Mari Cooper who retired from teaching special needs kids this year. Mari is also a staple in the pickin community and has hosted a music jam at her home every first Wednesday of the month for the last 30 years. Mari also is a regular of Tuesday Afternoon. Tuesday Afternoon is a collection of old geezers like myself who have nothing better to do on the second day of the week than to libate, eat pot luck and play music. Mari asked us to play for Noah on his special day. This was new territory for us. That meant we needed to actually have a set list of songs we were going to play as well as playing for two hours. We're pretty well known for taking 20 minutes between songs because we need to laugh at ourselves a lot and giggle. We actually practiced our songs and had a list of what we were going to sing and who was going to sing them. We also decided that we were going to all wear Hawaiian shirts. This meant we were in uniform just like the Beatles were when they first appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show. We even had some one with us who had sound equipment and actually knew how it worked.
They loved us. We placed little Noah up front and right in the center of the band. He was constantly being hugged and loved by family and friends. His mother told us after that most of the 50 plus folks that were there had never seen him smile, much less have a good time. He rocked out for the entire two hours. He was in his own imaginary space ship floating on notes. We thought he was going to do flips in his wheelchair when Ted, our banjo player, cranked up "Skip Hop and Wobble". We ended the day with "Three Little Birds" which the mom helped us sing like she has done daily since Noah was born.

Pretty cool huh?

[Steadfastly]

I have a few friends in nursing homes in Ontario and visit when I am there. These places do there best to look after these infirm and elderly ones but many of them get visited rarely and some never do, so going and playing music for them is a very kind thing to do.

[rokdog49]

After so many of you reponded, I thought I would jump back in and say that I appreciate the nice comments many of you made. I didn't go into much detail in the OP for a reason. I knew others would share their experiences and stories.
Playing in these places can be one of the most rewarding and beautiful things we as musicians can do. Last night we had people literally pleading with us to do a return engagement. The joy in that room was palpable.
The response to the music was beyond wonderful. We saw laughter, tears, hand-clapping, sing-a-long, cheering, foot-stomping and even some dancing.
What a great thing for us to witness , the folks who are nearing the end of their earthly journey having a blast.
As a few of you have already said, we get more out of this than they do. Really, we do.

[Steadfastly]

Originally Posted by rokdog49

After so many of you reponded, I thought I would jump back in and say that I appreciate the nice comments many of you made. I didn't go into much detail in the OP for a reason. I knew others would share their experiences and stories.
Playing in these places can be one of the most rewarding and beautiful things we as musicians can do. Last night we had people literally pleading with us to do a return engagement. The joy in that room was palpable.
The response to the music was beyond wonderful. We saw laughter, tears, hand-clapping, sing-a-long, cheering, foot-stomping and even some dancing.
What a great thing for us to witness , the folks who are nearing the end of their earthly journey having a blast.
As a few of you have already said, we get more out of this than they do. Really, we do.

A very wise person once said there is more happiness in giving than receiving. You, obviously, just experienced the truth in that statement.

[Mary]

Originally Posted by Steadfastly

A very wise person once said there is more happiness in giving than receiving. You, obviously, just experienced the truth in that statement.

Yes. Oh yes. When I hear our guitars brought smiles to others it is a blessing for us. The friend who plays our Sonic Sitka Project guitar with an air plane inlay said the folks at the nursing home remember the songs he sang only by the airplane on his guitar. The men and ladies who served the USA Air Force can relate to him through that guitar. I can't explain how precious it is to me to see all of you using your guitars for our elderly and handicapped.

I simply want to say thank you to each of you on a personal level. I have 6 brothers. Five served the country. Music made Nam tolerable for one brother. He carried a picture of me in his wallet. I was holding a guitar for him so he knew it was in safe hands. I never played a note, but the music he imagined being played helped keep his sanit during rough times.

Play on, Guys. Please.. play on.

[sublro]

Originally Posted by rokdog49

Lee and I played another gig at a new Assisted Living facility about 30 minutes from where we live last night. This place is really very nice. It had a large lounge area adjacent to the open dining area and we set up there facing that room.
We played for about 75 minutes. The response was terrific with a lot of folks coming up afterwards with wonderful comments and thanking us for coming.
We have done quite a few of these and we really enjoy the experience and the people. I know many on the AGF do these gigs. If you haven't and you like to perform in front of people, you really ought to give it a go.

Just beginning to do this, and feel like I may have discovered a calling - my mom spent 6 weeks in a rehab recently after a crash into severe depression and faliure to thrive. after being very lethargic and almost non-verbal, one of the first glimpses that she was still "in there" was during a sing-along, where she pepped right up and sang nearly every word of the songs.

wondering if you'd be willing to share your songlist here or offline - really want to learn and do music that goes over well for maximum enjoyment and therapeutic sing-along benefit :-)

[sublro]

Originally Posted by soao

This is a letter I sent to my mother in law several years ago.

This is the chorus for the song "Three Little Birds" by the late Bob Marley.

Chorus:
Don't worry, about a thing
Cause' every little thing, gonna be alright
Don't worry, about a thing
Cause' every little thing, gonna be alright

This became the theme song for Noah. No one thought he'd make it out of the delivery room much less celebrate his high school graduation. He is special needs all the way. He has the body of a 6 year old and has been wheel chair bound his entire life. There is no problem I've ever had or thought of that should even be mentioned compared to Noah, who's only luck has been bad. On Sunday, his parents had a celebration for not only Noah but for the team of support people who have cared for him.
One of those people is Mari Cooper who retired from teaching special needs kids this year. Mari is also a staple in the pickin community and has hosted a music jam at her home every first Wednesday of the month for the last 30 years. Mari also is a regular of Tuesday Afternoon. Tuesday Afternoon is a collection of old geezers like myself who have nothing better to do on the second day of the week than to libate, eat pot luck and play music. Mari asked us to play for Noah on his special day. This was new territory for us. That meant we needed to actually have a set list of songs we were going to play as well as playing for two hours. We're pretty well known for taking 20 minutes between songs because we need to laugh at ourselves a lot and giggle. We actually practiced our songs and had a list of what we were going to sing and who was going to sing them. We also decided that we were going to all wear Hawaiian shirts. This meant we were in uniform just like the Beatles were when they first appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show. We even had some one with us who had sound equipment and actually knew how it worked.
They loved us. We placed little Noah up front and right in the center of the band. He was constantly being hugged and loved by family and friends. His mother told us after that most of the 50 plus folks that were there had never seen him smile, much less have a good time. He rocked out for the entire two hours. He was in his own imaginary space ship floating on notes. We thought he was going to do flips in his wheelchair when Ted, our banjo player, cranked up "Skip Hop and Wobble". We ended the day with "Three Little Birds" which the mom helped us sing like she has done daily since Noah was born.

Pretty cool huh?

pretty much what the phrase "slice of heaven" means

[quiltingshirley]

My mother is in an assisted living facility and the one thing she and others look forward to all week is the music every Thursday afternoon. By 2pm they’ve gotten themselves into the room and are ready. It doesn’t matter if it’s piano, guitar or ukulele groups, they enjoy it. You can hear them singing along.

It’s the highlight of the week. According to her it’s better than the Candlelight Dinner with harp or violin cause they can sing although the other is nice “if I recognize” the music.

I’ve only played and sung with Hawaiian Ukulele Groups and folks always seem to enjoy us even if we’re not great. For about a year we had our acoustic song circle at a facility but a lot of our guitar music wasn’t familiar to the residents but enjoyed. Got to the point we couldn’t get enough players to show up once a month. It bothered some to be there.