Horribly uncoordinated and getting frustrated

[Associated98]

**be warned this is a long rant!**

I've hit a spot of deep frustration and can not go on further. I still, after playing on/off over probably 10 years or so and very steadily the last year or so can not for the love of God get my right hand to memorize string position. If I'm not paying nearly 100% attention to my plucking hand I will miss/muffle/play completely wrong string/hit multiple strings, it just sounds horrible. And forget about strumming two or three strings. Unless its the first three strings they all get hit with the pick. It's miserably hard to learn anything with my left hand when I'm staring at and paying attention to my right hand constantly. The most difficult thing I can play currently is a half butted version of black bird by the Beatles and it sounds horse waste. I'm not a very coordinated person, so much so I can't even hum and play at the same time. My right hand losses time and my left hand stops moving. Is there any hope for me? They say practice makes perfect but after 10 years I would think I could at least pluck a specific string with out looking at it. I'm 20 years old and have gotten serious about playing about a year ago. I have been playing nearly every night since and am unbelievably board with my limited library but can't learn anything new due to my clumsy hands. I've been trying to learn Spanish Romance, get smoother and more accurate with Dust in the Wind, and get past the first line of Scarborough Fair. It's impossible with my horrible hands. UUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!

Thanks for reading my ramblings and for any advice. I love playing guitar. I just wish I could "play" guitar.

[rick-slo]

Try some simple fingerstyle pieces. There is more tactile string location feedback than with a flatpick.

[David MacNeill]

Write your own songs. If you make a mistake, nobody knows but you!

[Suzidownunder]

Don't use a pick. Try simple slow Fingerstyle exercises - thumb plucking strings 5 and 6
And fingers 1234 on strings 4,3.2.1 and back again.
Take it slowly. Slow is the key until your brain and fingers learn where to go.
Once you have learned that. You can start to Fingerpick different strings.
Good luck

[JonPR]

Originally Posted by Associated98

**be warned this is a long rant!**

I've hit a spot of deep frustration and can not go on further. I still, after playing on/off over probably 10 years or so and very steadily the last year or so can not for the love of God get my right hand to memorize string position. If I'm not paying nearly 100% attention to my plucking hand I will miss/muffle/play completely wrong string/hit multiple strings, it just sounds horrible. And forget about strumming two or three strings. Unless its the first three strings they all get hit with the pick. It's miserably hard to learn anything with my left hand when I'm staring at and paying attention to my right hand constantly. The most difficult thing I can play currently is a half butted version of black bird by the Beatles and it sounds horse waste. I'm not a very coordinated person, so much so I can't even hum and play at the same time. My right hand losses time and my left hand stops moving. Is there any hope for me? They say practice makes perfect but after 10 years I would think I could at least pluck a specific string with out looking at it. I'm 20 years old and have gotten serious about playing about a year ago. I have been playing nearly every night since and am unbelievably board with my limited library but can't learn anything new due to my clumsy hands. I've been trying to learn Spanish Romance, get smoother and more accurate with Dust in the Wind, and get past the first line of Scarborough Fair. It's impossible with my horrible hands. UUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!

Thanks for reading my ramblings and for any advice. I love playing guitar. I just wish I could "play" guitar.

It sounds like you're trying to play fingerstyle pieces with a pick?
If so, here's my tip: don't do that! Use your fingers!

Sorry if I've misunderstood, but you did say "the pick" near the beginning somewhere.

Maybe you're using hybrid picking? That's more suitable, but again my tip would be - don't do that: drop the pick and use thumb and fingers. That way you can feel the strings. and your right hand should soon get used to where they all are.

Another tip would be: rest the heel of your hand on the top end of the bridge, to help guide your fingers. Classical players use a free hand, but that takes more practice. Look at other players playing those pieces on youtube.

Another thought occurs: are you perhaps left-handed? Using your good hand on the frets? My tip: oh, you guessed it... (Actually, if you are playing that way, and are used to it, don't change now; just be aware that training that picking hand will take a lot longer.)

[Paddy1951]

Try the tunes you are working on, broken down into small pieces. Concentrate on one piece until you are happy with it, then move on to another. Sometimes, the whole is too much at one time. A smaller piece of the whole may be easier to deal with.
I have students do this and it works.

[Mandobart]

Sorry, but in my experience "on-and-off playing for 10 years" with one year actually getting serious is not "10 years of playing." It's one. So you're one true year into guitar and getting frustrated. That's normal. What kind of music do you like? If you're ok with some folk or Americana, try some strumming tunes to build your ability to strum chords in rhythm with your right hand while shifting chords with your left. I'd recommend anything by John Prine, Guy Clark, Stevev Goodman, etc. These are also great choices to learn to play and sing concurrently. Even if you think you can't sing and never intend to sing for others this skill is important in cementing independent actions (right and left hand, working together yet independently).

It sounds like you're trying to master flatpicking (Doc Watson, Norman Blake, Brian Sutton, etc.) for fingerstyle songs. It can be done, but not usually by a new player. Have you ever had real in-person lessons? Finding a good teacher can make all the difference for a beginner.

[Silly Moustache]

Sorry to hear about your frustration. I think we've all been there at some time.

I surely remember times when I very nearly threw my guitar/mandolin/cat/wife across the room.

Here are some common mistakes I learnt from my own experiences and when teaching others :

1. Don't believe any video/CD/books that imply that you'll be able to play like (insert music hero here). You won't.

2. Don't worry if there are some things you can't do ... I can drive, done so since the 1950s, but I couldn't beat Lewis Hamilton in a race.

3. Look for simpler pieces that you can do, and work on them - as you become more familiar with them add to your arrangement adding little licks etc. After a while you will develop your style! (your guitar hero could never play like you as well as you).

4. All of us are learning all the time - it never stops. There is no destination, just the journey.

5. If it doesn't work with a pick, try a finger style version, and Vice Versa.

6. If you don't know - ask - There are no stupid questions.

7. Listen watch others but NEVER try to copy.

8. In music it's OK to steal, but not to copy.

9. Remember the Nashville code : KISS (Keep it simple stupid!)

10. Remember it is vital that you enjoy your guitar playing, don't let it become a chore.

11. There is no Rule 11.

[JonPR]

Originally Posted by Silly Moustache

my guitar/mandolin/cat/wife

Hmm, that's an interesting sounding creature, Dr Frankenstein. Could you make me one? (Preferably remove the claws from the cat part.)

[reeve21]

Hi Associated,

Are you doing this all on your own or do you have a teacher? I made the mistake of trying to tackle songs that were above my ability, and it sure can be discouraging. A good teacher can give you some exercises that will give you the skills you need to play tunes you like.

Here are a couple of things that helped me.

1. Get a metronome and use it. There is one professional here on AGF who says he almost never practices without it. If my playing isn't feeling right I'll turn that beat on and the improvement is almost immediate.

2. There is some speed you can play a tune at, even if it sounds unmusical. Start there and gradually increase speed. You fingers (or pick) need to know how to walk to where they are going before you ask them to run.

Your struggle is not unusual. There will be long periods where it seems like no progress is being made, and then, viola, a breakthrough. That is where a teacher can help you keep focus during the dry season. And realistically, unless you have a lot of natural ability it is going to take a good hour or 2 a day nearly every day for a year or more to see significant progress. At least that was my experience, I sure hope your path is smoother!

Best of luck. Unless you want to be the next Clapton, attitude and discipline are more important than talent.

[Associated98]

I really appreciate all the feedback and advice everyone, I love this forum because you guys are always helpful and friendly.

I apologize for not clarifying that most of the time Im using finger style. I only use a pick while strumming cowboy chords or if I really want to emphasis a certain riff. one of the only riffs i have down to a t is the main riff in simple man. and I think because its so rhythmic I can actually play it. I usually use my thumb and forefinger as a back and forth sort of motion while playing, i have trying to introduce other fingers but its hard when the thumb and pointer cant even play properly. skipping strings specifically is very difficult with my thumb.

It seems some of you are suggesting I seek professional lessons. I have been thinking about this for a while now as to me anyway, I have not seen/noticed any improvement in the last half a year or so. I kind of feel embarrassed though as at least to me anyways, Im a little late to the game. most of the people I have known who play started very young and where incredibly proficient at it by the time they where my age.

As far as picking goes, if im looking at my right hand, I can hit almost anything. Even a random off beat here and there. as soon as I look away how ever... screech bring thud and all the other sounds a bad player makes.
Its strumming with a pick that gets me, even while looking at it. Say a particular piece calls for strings 4 and 5, then 123, then 4 and 5 again. forget about it. Ill hit the 123 perfectly but 54321 get hit the other times.

I usually rest the side of my palm/upper wrist some where between the nut and the retention pegs (I only play acoustics). I do this as well for picking. If Im playing something where I need fast transitions between strings I will brace my hand with my pinky on the pick guard.

Im all self taught but music is in my blood. My father was a bass player in his band for 15 years, they used play at bars and clubs. My grandmother is a concert pianist and my grate uncle is an amazing guitar player. Some how I was a dud.

my usual routine is to run through all the cowboy chords, play simple man to get my right hand warmed up, whip through a few home made riffs, and then start trying to learn stuff. After about an hour of frustration I give up for the night and put it away.

[Mandobart]

Okay, I'm trying to give positive feedback for you, but one of my issues is I tend to be blunt. You're only 20 YEARS OLD! Very few people have mastered ANYTHING at that age! You need to be more realistic in your expectations. Unless you have above average talent, coordination, ear, and innate grasp of theory, its going to take about a decade of REGULAR, FOCUSED, INTENTIONAL, GUIDED practice to sound like you've been playing for 10 years. Those people you know who play so much better at the same age probably stayed focused rather than "on-and-off." You are a beginner. This will take time.

I know many "permanent beginner" players. They are this way because they aren't focused, they are aimless (no direction, no guidance, no plan for achieving their musical goals), or they lack discipline. What I think is needed is a holistic approach where you strive to understand the guitar (i.e., you're actually placing your hand behind the bridge, between the saddle and bridge pins, NOT "between the nut and the retention pegs"). I really think regular lessons with a real teacher who helps you plan and achieve specific goals is what will help more than anything.

I have my doubts if anyone "inherits" musical proficiency. Talent? Yes, but it still takes steady, regular, focused practice to attain proficiency on guitar (or anything else).

[Associated98]

That's embarrassing lol I guess I need to relearn the anatomy of a guitar. Nut is on opposite end of the guitar.. oops.

Well it sounds like I'll be needing lessons after all. To me it doesn't matter what I have to do, I just want to be able to play some of my favorite songs effectively and accurately. My parents all ways tell me I'm too hard on my self but it's difficult when your the person in question to see it like they do. I would really like to learn different techniques and begin to see some progress again in my abilities. Nice thing is winter is right around the corner and a perfect time to seek lessons. Thanks again for your help and support guys. I'll try to remember to come back and update this thread after a few months of lessons.

How long does a typical student usually need to seek lessons before they can start learning on their own? Obviously each individual is different so there is no one correct answer but just an average estimate?

[Charlieb]

Lessons from an individual or online

[1neeto]

I’ve been playing for 7 years, but really focused playing for maybe 2. I too can’t sing and play at the same time and I fumble more chords I can’t think of. Just dig deep and see what aspect of guitar playing is where you struggle the most and work on that.