#31
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You've got some understanding people over here. Remember, "It's always darkest before the light"
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#32
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7 years ago, my world disintegrated. Almost literally overnight. A series of "mistakes" led to me losing everything - my home high up on a hill in San Francisco, all my money, my cars, my possessions, and eventually my wife.
In short, I lost everything that I once thought meant everything to me. I was depressed for years, and wanted to get off the bus. There was no joy in anything, and I told myself that I had had a good run, and that it was now over. Somehow I survived, and as it turned out, losing everything was the best thing that had ever happened to me. You see, even though I had once lived on top of a hill with a magnificent view of the San Francisco Bay, in the lap of luxury, vacationing three times a year in Hawaii, eating at Michelin starred restaurants with my beautiful wife blah blah blah... I didn't know how to be happy. I was hardly ever in the present moment. Now I realize that happiness is a choice. I'm happy because I choose to be happy, or I don't. Simple as that. I'm happy because I accept the present moment, and no longer resist it. I'm happy because I'm now far less identified with my ego than I ever was. Everything will come to pass. Sooner than you may think. Nothing is really as important as we think it is.
__________________
Adrian Gibson LG-2 American Eagle Waterloo WL-14L |
#33
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Not much I can add...Unemployment will slow the financial bleeding for sure...
You've got a heck of a support team here, man...praying and keeping a good thought for you... |
#34
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So sorry to hear of this latest set back and hope you'll keep us posted as you make this difficult transition. We're all pulling for you!
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#35
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Thank you to everyone. I so need and appreciate the support.
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#36
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It's an Opportunity
Sorry to see your current situation. About 6 years ago I lost my job with a company I had been with for almost 20 years. It was one of my greatest fears but it turned out to be one of the most freeing events in my life. After about 6 months, when I realized the world didn't end and much of my life carried on as it did before (my wife and kids still loved me, my friends were still my friends, etc.) I was able to look at work in a much different way. I've been employed for the last five years but I know if the stress or the BS gets too high I can walk away and we will be ok. It's very liberating and makes my work much more enjoyable.
You can get to this point too. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and before you know it you will look back and realize just how far you've come. |
#37
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with that is a failing marriage, with now lawyers getting involved. |
#38
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I'm sorry for your hard times, AE. I wish you the best and hope things improve for you soon.
- Glenn
__________________
My You Tube Channel |
#39
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Man. I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles. This will pass. Maybe, .... on a potentially positive side.... if lawyers are getting involved...... she can't get any part of a paycheck- you're no longer getting.....
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#40
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The lawyer thing has stalled to a halt. She may be waiting for me to get another good-paying job so she can cash out. I’d like to think she stalled because she still loves me and wants the marriage to work out, but I am thinking otherwise, sadly. |
#41
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I hope so too. This has been a horrible year for me thus far. |
#42
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No improvement yet.
Wife is cold and job search even colder. Struggling with anxiety and now some depression. |
#43
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Know that your situation will improve. Many of us have been at the bottom and crawled our way out of it. (I know that doesn't mean much to you where you are.)
Speaking from experience, I recommend that you spend as much time with your friends and family as you can. Don't hide yourself away from them for all the reasons you rationalize. If you're looking for a new career, have you considered teaching? Qualified science teachers are always in high need in public and private schools as well as community colleges. Best of luck to you!
__________________
‘00 Martin HD28LSV ‘04 Martin D18GE ‘22 Burkett JB45 Last edited by Zissou Intern; 07-08-2018 at 07:57 AM. |
#44
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"When it rains it pours", huh? There have been times in my life when the rain was pouring down on me. But guess what? It turned out to be my own actions, or lack therof, that had seeded the clouds. I finally recognized that it was my own feckless mismanagement of my life that left me cold, wet, and sniveling. Once I admitted that to myself, which involved a lot of surrendering to the present rainy moments, the clouds started to clear.
Look inward. The answers are all there. Be fearless. You are not alone.
__________________
Denise Martin HD-28V VTS, MFG Custom Taylor 358e 12 string Martin 00L-17 Voyage Air OM04 Breedlove Oregon Concert 1975 Aria 9422 |
#45
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We invest heavily in what others think of us--especially a wife. Under your circumstances right now, it seems that your wife's words and actions, and those of your former employer, are telling you that you are: A, B, C.--some combination of a negative or not enough. I have found it very helpful to repeat to myself, even in the mirror, "I am not who ______ says I am." Cultivate your own opinion of who you are, and where you are, including those things you might want to improve. But, don't allow the careless opinions of others to define you.
I am just sharing what has worked for myself. I am a natural "pleaser," who tries always to please and impress. Well, if someone else for whatever reason--maybe entirely based in their own life--does not give me the reaction I want, I tend to double down and keep seeking that approval. So, when I face disapproval, I get too reactive, usually pressing the other person into telling me "why" they don't approve. Really, they don't even know why, so they make up a convenient story. Then, I base I next move on this "truth" I think I've learned, but it is usually not actually a truth at all. So, since you obviously still have hopes in your marriage, but are also having to prepare for its total collapse (totally opposite pathways), I would suggest just taking some character traits you want to improve in yourself, that might even make this wife like you more or some employer, too. Then, work on yourself at your own pace and don't fall for the fool's gold that today that woman approves you and tomorrow she doesn't. Your actual worth does not go up and down like that. You are not who she says you are! No matter what happens next, you can take with you all the improvement you make now.
__________________
2010 Allison D (German spruce/Honduran mahogany) 2014 Sage Rock "0" (sitka spruce/Honduran mahogany) 2016 Martin CEO-7 (Adi spruce/sipo) 1976 Ovation 1613-4 nylon--spruce top 1963 Guild Mark II nylon--spruce top |