Asking permission...

GuitarDoc · #1 10-20-2020, 12:45 AM

I’ve my eyes on an X 30 to go along with my X 30-12. Guys...what is your strategy to get the most favorable response form your Mrs. I’ve tried dinner. After I worked hours around the house, but it didn’t feel right Asking.
Ladies how would you all prefer this presented? We’ve taken a beating with covid so her common sense may outweigh my need for this instrument.

ac · #2 10-20-2020, 03:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GuitarDoc

I’ve my eyes on an X 30 to go along with my X 30-12. Guys...what is your strategy to get the most favorable response form your Mrs. I’ve tried dinner. After I worked hours around the house, but it didn’t feel right Asking.
Ladies how would you all prefer this presented? We’ve taken a beating with covid so her common sense may outweigh my need for this instrument.

You realize, of course, she may just ask you to remove 6 strings from your X 30-12 . . .

rmp · #3 10-20-2020, 04:13 AM

Ah yes, the struggle is real..

I've found that it's easier to ask forgiveness then beg permission!

Your mileage may vary...

Then again, my wife has never really put up much of a fuss when I have something in the cross hairs. Of course, to balance that, I wouldn't even think about it if the funding wasn't there.. so there is that.

But that said, a direct approach is probably best... "I've been thinking about this...." and let the chips fall where they may.

David Eastwood · #4 10-20-2020, 06:39 AM

Funding is key for me. Buying a new instrument (or camera, or lens, for that matter) is alway dependent on the purchase not replacing anything else in the budget. After all, I don’t really *need* any of them.

I do maintain (with my wife’s full knowledge) my own slush fund - the proceeds from any musical or photographic gear sales go in there, and are mine to do as I wish with. However, it rarely amounts to enough to buy something like an Emerald, so those purchases are more considered and seriously discussed, in light of everything else that’s going on financially in the Eastwood household.

Earl49 · #5 10-20-2020, 07:15 AM

Just ask, no games. Wives know everything anyway - it’s not like it is a secret from her. I’m lucky - several of the CF guitars actually are hers but I can play them too. Besides she has more $$$$$ in pro-grade flutes than all of my guitars combined, and I’m happy for her. I have a matched set of green X20’s in six and twelve string.

RP · #6 10-20-2020, 07:18 AM

I've largely curtailed my GAS by limiting my guitar purchase(s) to either Christmas or birthday gifts to myself since I'm single and don't need to answer to anyone else. I wonder if this would fly if you proposed this as either a holiday or birthday gift that your SO could either contribute to or just support your purchase. At this point, you couldn't receive a special order from Emerald by Christmas, but Emerald does some very significant Black Friday special pricing which would arrive by Christmas if they have a stock guitar that you'd want....

Silly Moustache · #7 10-20-2020, 07:26 AM

As the current Mrs Moustache and I married rather late (after ten years of sale or return) we have tended to keep our finances separate.

There was a time when she first moved into my house permanently, and saw lots of stuff to do, and bills to pay -she reacted somewhat negatively to my coming home with a new Martin.
I had to remind her hat I was not her crazy 1st husband who would buy expensive toys for himself and ignore bills, and that my guitar would only increase in value so were "wooden investment bonds"

She is no longer concerned with my financial management - just where I store them.
However I still consult her before a big purchase, which as we have separate finances never comes from her funds.
I have also specified that all my instruments are to be sold for her benefit upon my final chord, as it were!

Consult, share and consider that a gift to yourself should also involve a gift to your spouse.

Captain Jim · #8 10-20-2020, 07:29 AM

I've found it helpful to open with: "I'll never ask for anything else ever again for the rest of my life - oh, pleeeeeeeeeeeze!"

We are retired and don't have unlimited funds. We discuss any significant purchases (like a guitar or some fancy-schmancy sewing machine). I am fortunate that my wife is pretty much a guitar purchase enabler. I support her quilting in the same way. As long as the household budget isn't impacted, it has never been an issue.

Communication.

raysachs · #9 10-20-2020, 09:35 AM

When I was buying guitars (nothing lately or in any near range plans), I tended to take the "it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission" approach. And I never really had to ask forgiveness. She trusts me to spend what I spend wisely, I trust her to do the same. Neither of us has ever spent to the point of interfering with our other needs / goals.

What I buy isn't her call unless it's something I'm buying for both of us - furniture, appliances, cars, etc. Guitars are not in that category - she don't play 'em! For the last 30 years or so, I've always had some interest that had a GEAR side to it. I've always bought the gear I wanted / needed, but I was never over the top. My most expensive guitar cost me $2000 - all of my guitars, amps, effects combined might come in close to $4000. All of my camera gear when I had it and all of my cycling gear when I had that cost waaaaay more money than my guitar stuff does now. But we also had more then - we were both working.

-Ray

jdinco · #10 10-20-2020, 10:07 AM

I usually use the same line as Jim...."This is the last guitar I'll ever buy" which is always proceeded with a lot of laughter from her and some choice words. I keep our finances in pretty good shape (we are retired) and buy and sell stuff regularly, she has no problem with it. I did buy her a nice new keyboard, that got me a LOT of freedom to do what I want. Good Luck OP !!

David Eastwood · #11 10-20-2020, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Captain Jim

We are retired and don't have unlimited funds. We discuss any significant purchases (like a guitar or some fancy-schmancy sewing machine). I am fortunate that my wife is pretty much a guitar purchase enabler. I support her quilting in the same way. As long as the household budget isn't impacted, it has never been an issue.

I could have written this paragraph almost word for word. I was astounded to find out what a decent sewing machine cost - and secretly, rather pleased

#12 10-20-2020, 12:15 PM

Well, you GUYS are sure a bunch of wimps. A real man tells his woman what's going to happen and then does it. Sewing can be done by hand, but a man's got to have his tools and air guitar doesn't quite cut it. So buck up, demand your manly prerogatives.

And have you noticed that none of the women on this forum have responded to your pussyfooting around? You should be ashamed. I'd say more but my wife is calling me..................

Earl49 · #13 10-20-2020, 12:28 PM

I'd like to keep my "manly prerogatives" intact. I know better than to mess with a gal who borrowed my .45 auto and then out-shot my score in a pistol match!
Another way I often put it is, "Of course I am Captain of this ship. Just let me check first with the Admiral.....".

jdinco · #14 10-20-2020, 01:46 PM

And I could almost write Earls response word for word ! She wanted a gun, she got a Ruger revolver 22 mag, I put up the target a good ways down the range and told her not to feel bad if she missed it with the short barrel pistol. Yep....she hit the bullseye. First shot. I shut up. LOL

mot · #15 10-20-2020, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GuitarDoc

what is your strategy to get the most favorable response form your Mrs.

I got the Kestrel and a trip to Europe out of one of my last accidental gambits. The guest shower had a leak in the basin. I was busy working and told her no way am I doing it, so she started talking to contractors. She got a couple of bids (north of 10 grand) because there were some structural issues too. She brought it back to me. I grumbled about how I went to college to get away from manual labor then acquiesced and did the whole project for about a 10th of the contractor bid (materials only) over a few weekends. We used some of the saved money for a trip to Europe and a visit to the Emerald shop in Ireland.

More recently last year I ripped up the carpet in a house and put in hardwood at her behest in my off hours, so I think I am good for another guitar if I can find just the right one. I am torn between the X30-12 and a few others. Problem is I don't have time to play the ones I have well enough to justify another, so I am still sitting on the GAS until I can convince myself otherwise.

I actually don't mind manual labor, but I don't ever want to be beholden to it again whether it is cutting grass, putting an engine back together or building a gadget or room for my kids to play in.

The point is figure out what makes the Mrs. tick and wind that clock a few times. You can get there from here if you keep winding.