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Old 08-27-2020, 09:15 AM
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Default Be good to each other folks, People are on EDGE!

Our daughter lives in Carolina Beach, NC, in a condo in a development of two-family, side by side buildings. On Sunday night, a neighbor who she and her husband were neighborly acquaintances of, had some sort of psychotic break, or in my layman's parlance, he snapped. I'm not sure exactly what he did, but cops were called to a domestic disturbance by I don't know who, maybe his wife. This is two doors down from our daughter, in the building next to theirs.

The upshot is he was in the house with his wife and two very small children and a small boatload of guns. And threatened the police with the guns. They started talking to him and convinced him to let his wife and two little ones leave, which they did an hour or two into what turned into a 72 hour ordeal.

Our daughter and her husband were ordered to stay in the house and not leave - they didn't have any windows facing this neighbors place, so they were safe there. They were there all day Monday and Monday night. Nobody was allowed to come or go to any of the residences at their end of the development. The place was swarming with cops, SWAT guys, a bomb unit - it was a war zone. On Tuesday they were told they could leave but urged to make the fewest trips in and out possible. They went to work but upon their return, were not allowed back into their end of the development.

They basically stayed with a nearby friend Tuesday night, and had bunked down there again Wednesday night before at about midnight last night, the cops talked the guy into coming out. Nobody was ultimately harmed. and my daughter and her husband were able to return home to their freaked out cats. They were never in any real danger, but to say they were freaked out is an understatement. They were highly stressed and REALLY worried about their neighbor, who they were afraid was going to kill himself.

The cops handled this guy with an amazing amount of restraint - he threatened them at gunpoint at least twice during this standoff. All they were doing was trying to get him to come out alive. I wish everyone who police feel threatened by were shown the same level of restraint. A good bit of the anger in the US would be alleviated if they did. Fortunately this ended in the best possible way, given the other alternatives.

We're all on edge. Be good to each other. You never know who might be ready to snap and can use a friendly word or helping hand. Be good to each other.

-Ray
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Old 08-27-2020, 09:23 AM
jpd jpd is offline
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Default Be good to each other

I hear ya! Same edgy feeling out here in fire Land. People are scared, tired, and lost with very little hope of the near future. The world is overloaded with one catastrophe after another. We all need each other...some more than they will admit.
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Old 08-27-2020, 09:27 AM
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Same here, people. More looting and property destruction last night in Minneapolis after homicide+suicide downtown. Property destruction extended beyond downtown. I believe they called in the National Guard and imposed a curfew that expired at 6am this morning. What a world, what a world.
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Old 08-27-2020, 09:34 AM
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Wow! All of a sudden a bear coming to my door and staying for 45 minutes seems tame by comparison....
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Last edited by RP; 11-20-2021 at 07:04 AM.
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Old 08-27-2020, 09:42 AM
PorkPieGuy PorkPieGuy is offline
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Thanks for sharing your story.

I commute almost an hour away from home. As I'm driving, I pretend that everyone in their cars is on meth and has a gun. This keeps me safe, sane, and patient.
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Old 08-27-2020, 09:52 AM
bfm612 bfm612 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PorkPieGuy View Post
Thanks for sharing your story.

I commute almost an hour away from home. As I'm driving, I pretend that everyone in their cars is on meth and has a gun. This keeps me safe, sane, and patient.
Even 80-year-old grandmas going 15 mph on their Buick Century? Don't judge a book by its cover, I guess!
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Old 08-27-2020, 10:20 AM
rmp rmp is offline
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I can't recall a time when there was this much negativity all going on at once.

Pandemic, civil unrest almost everywhere, it's enough to make any one start to loose control. People need to stop a bit and just breath in, breath out...

crazy days..
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Old 08-27-2020, 10:32 AM
ghostnote ghostnote is offline
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Agreed. Everyone needs to relax and calm down. The level of intolerance that everyone seems to have these days is astounding. When you add into that the number of real, actual horrifying events happening simultaneously, there's a disaster around every corner just waiting to happen.
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Old 08-27-2020, 10:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rmp View Post
I can't recall a time when there was this much negativity all going on at once.

Pandemic, civil unrest almost everywhere, it's enough to make any one start to loose control. People need to stop a bit and just breath in, breath out...

crazy days..
Something like a pandemic, or fires, or hurricanes put everyone affected on edge. In the case of the pandemic that means nearly EVERYONE. And when we're on edge things that would bother us, maybe REALLY bother us, in ordinary times, are now enough to make a lot of us fly off the handle. Arguably justified in some cases, clearly not in others.

I was really proud of my daughter and her husband through this. A lot of their neighbors were getting really angry and belligerent with the cops for letting this go on for as long as it did, really mad about the inconvenience. My daughter and her husband managed to never forget about what their neighbor must be going through and realized that a few nights of of inconvenience didn't stack up to much compared to what their neighbor must be going through. I was worried about them but it's pretty wonderful when those moments arise when you realize that your kid(s) have turned out to be really good people. Man, I've been sooooo fortunate.

-Ray
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Old 08-27-2020, 11:00 AM
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Thanks for sharing the story and for sending out a positive message. Having grown up in the inner city of NYC I have seen my share of police and citizen confrontations. And for the most part they ended well, considering. But now we live in a time of heightened sensitivity on all fronts. Your advice is right on point. Be good to your neighbors, fellow citizens, first responders, and yourself
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Old 08-27-2020, 11:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rmp View Post
I can't recall a time when there was this much negativity all going on at once.

Pandemic, civil unrest almost everywhere, it's enough to make any one start to loose control. People need to stop a bit and just breath in, breath out...

crazy days..
1968 was worse, without the Covid, so adding that back, you may be right.
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Old 08-27-2020, 11:06 AM
NormanKliman NormanKliman is offline
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Thanks, Ray, for sharing that. We could all use a little inspiration to remain positive in these difficult times.
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Old 08-27-2020, 11:13 AM
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Originally Posted by NormanKliman View Post
Thanks, Ray, for sharing that. We could all use a little inspiration to remain positive in these difficult times.
I'm not even recommending staying positive, per se - there's plenty of very real stuff not to feel positive about at all. I feel pretty negative a lot these days and I think it's mostly justified.

I'm mostly just reminding myself (and whoever else) to try to think of others and be as kind as possible to those you encounter. Because I only know what I'm going through - I can't know what they are. Just give each other the benefit of the doubt. Because there's plenty of doubt!

-Ray
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Old 08-27-2020, 01:16 PM
buddyhu buddyhu is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by raysachs View Post
I'm not even recommending staying positive, per se - there's plenty of very real stuff not to feel positive about at all. I feel pretty negative a lot these days and I think it's mostly justified.

I'm mostly just reminding myself (and whoever else) to try to think of others and be as kind as possible to those you encounter. Because I only know what I'm going through - I can't know what they are. Just give each other the benefit of the doubt. Because there's plenty of doubt!

-Ray
I agree with everything you have posted, Ray. Good advice, and (IMO) good to distinguish between “staying positive” and committing to being as kind as we can to one another.

It is such a difficult time for nearly everyone, with upsets and stresses compounding one upon another. Good time to set aside any thoughts about who is to blame, or what needs to be done, and just be as relentlessly kind as you can be.

I must say that EVERY SINGLE ACT OF KINDNESS means so much to me these days. Some of this tenderness I feel is very personal: a very close friend of 30+ years died 5 weeks ago, my wife found out she has “a very treatable“ breast cancer about 7 weeks ago, and begins radiation therapy next week; a friend’s husband died unexpectedly on Wednesday...all in addition to the disruptions of life and of friendships. But I am sure lots of other people are facing their own (hidden) personal challenges in addition to the stuff that we all share. Life and it’s travails continues...and it continues in greater isolation. So to repeat: be kind, and remember that whatever is frustrating or upsetting about others is just one part of what you and they can see...there are lots of feelings out of view.

Even small kindnesses help. The person at the door of the local hardware store (making sure that they only have a limited number of people inside and that everyone is wearing a mask) was so pleasant with me this morning: said, “thanks for shopping with us today” in such a pleasant voice as he let me in...warmed my heart, and buoyed my mood. I’d nominate him for sainthood just for that....

Last edited by Kerbie; 08-27-2020 at 06:17 PM. Reason: Removed prohibited topics
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Old 08-27-2020, 01:57 PM
Don Lampson Don Lampson is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by M19 View Post
1968 was worse, without the Covid, so adding that back, you may be right.
How was 1968 worse than now? We've got a depression in full bloom, with no end in sight to either!

Don

Last edited by Kerbie; 08-27-2020 at 06:18 PM. Reason: add word
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