Why Don't You Play Music With Others?

[TedBPhx]

I play for myself and the three or four other people that occupy my head. Guitar gets us to all play nice together.

[Street Glider]

I used to play a lot; in a band, open mics, etc.

My interests moved from guitars to photography, and I started to sell off the herd. The guitars I have right now (with one exception) are guitars I'll never get rid of.

I've started to sit in with some friends at a local biker bar on Sunday evenings. It's fun, and the drinks are free...

[Bluenose]

Vincent van Gogh painted his pictures regardless of public opinion and I don't think he did it because he thought it was fun.

He was compelled to paint and even though he didn't sell a single painting he continued to generate some of the finest art the world has ever seen.

I find the premise of this thread somewhat condescending. If someone wishes to play music by themselves, I don't think it's "sad and surprising", it's just what they choose to do.

[Br1ck]

Originally Posted by lowrider

Sucking isn't the worst thing. Not trying to get better is. Playing with others, who mostly all sucked at one time, is the best way to get better.

Yes, yes, yes. Not trying to get better is so sad. Do you think Molly Tuttle or Mark O'Connor, or YoYo Ma, or John Mayer aren't trying to get better?

I'm involved in an open mic. Regardless of how supportive we are of new folks, and we go out of our way, I think they still compare themselves to the older guys and gals who have forty years experience behind them. I've seen people go from hideously awful, to pathetically bad, to passably maybe OK. It's by far the most fun, rather than see a proficient player stagnate. I could not wait to play live on the mandolin I'd just started to learn, then have someone comment I'd gotten better six months. code: you really sucked, but now you just suck. Progress.

Try asking someone how they do that G to C bass run and I'll bet they will show you.

[mr. beaumont]

Originally Posted by Br1ck

Yes, yes, yes. Not trying to get better is so sad. Do you think Molly Tuttle or Mark O'Connor, or YoYo Ma, or John Mayer aren't trying to get better?
.

One of my favorite music related quotes, is from master cellist Pablo Casals, who at age 90 was asked why he still practiced several hours a day:

"Because I think I'm making some progress."

[JGinNJ]

Setting aside the last year +, my experiences playing with other people in recent years has been mixed. For a long time I was a jazz guy, but didn't really have anyone to play with. Solo jazz guitar is a pretty tough path, and in frustration & boredom I got into acoustic music, taught myself Travis picking, etc.

Going back 10 years, I started playing out more, after years of just "woodshedding" at home. I did some open mics solo, but other than that it was all 3 chord rock, pick-up bands, jam sessions or casual gigs. It was social, and fun for a while, but musically the bar was pretty low.

More recently, I tried a local jazz jam, but it was a frustrating experience- I'd be lucky to play a couple of tunes in a evening. I tried an acoustic/bluegrass jam, and it was a nice crowd, but the music is just not my thing. Then I found a jazz big band. I started on trumpet, my other instrument- it was like being in school stage band again! Some times it was awful, over time it got pretty good. When they heard how well I played guitar, they wanted me in the rhythm section instead of trumpet. I don't know if the band will come back.

Playing with other people will teach you a lot, about being a musician, what you like, or don't, and make you a better player. For years I had fantasies of playing gigs, as a 2nd act, or alternative to my engineering job. Now I'm cured of that notion!

Oh, and now I have a long list of solo jazz guitar tunes!

[Pdfiddler]

Bought a Boss RC3 Looper

[ThermiteTermite]

Just don't have many friends, and even less who play instruments. I'm an ok likable dude, nothing special, I just am busy with family and job etc, not a lot of time left over to find folks to play with.

[jjbigfly]

Hmmm…Just a thought. I see comments like: looking for someone that is at least as good as (whatever). It always boils down to songs with the same four chords. Lots of stuff like this. I would like to play with others more, but there is always the confidence thing. You know?
Think of it this way; you hit the music store and ask to play a guitar. In normal cirmstances, the associate takes it off the wall and rips off an amazing riff and then hands it to you. Maybe I am not so accomplished as others might be and could be a bit intimidated…same thing with trying to find a playing partner…….those first few minutes count more than you might think…..

[TBman]

I think there are a lot of people like me that rather play in the comfort of our home and not worry if something is polished up by Saturday for the "players' get together." I like working at my own pace. Some weeks I play a lot, others I don't.

Solo instrumental finger style doesn't really lend itself to a multi player situation. If you do have a get together in a group and each person takes a turn playing something, having someone advanced combined with a big ego, is not going to be fun at all for the others. Maybe if care would be given to not mix different skill levels it wouldn't be that bad. I wouldn't mind something like that.

Basically I think my playing isn't that good, but sometimes I can convince myself it sounds ok. A group set up would need someone to evaluate players and put them in the right skill groups based on an audition of sorts. Does this even exist anywhere?

[Robin, Wales]

Originally Posted by TBman

I think there are a lot of people like me that rather play in the comfort of our home and not worry if something is polished up by Saturday for the "players' get together." I like working at my own pace. Some weeks I play a lot, others I don't.

Solo instrumental finger style doesn't really lend itself to a multi player situation. If you do have a get together in a group and each person takes a turn playing something, having someone advanced combined with a big ego, is not going to be fun at all for the others. Maybe if care would be given to not mix different skill levels it wouldn't be that bad. I wouldn't mind something like that.

Basically I think my playing isn't that good, but sometimes I can convince myself it sounds ok. A group set up would need someone to evaluate players and put them in the right skill groups based on an audition of sorts. Does this even exist anywhere?

Barry, you make some very salient points. Your wonderful solo fingerstyle playing would be harder to move into a collective situation than mine and others 3 chord strumming! And reading through this long thread I can see that "acoustic guitar" means so many different things to so many different folks who frequent this forum.

For me, living where I live, music has always been about playing with or for others. And in some respects I couldn't give a crap about what instrument I have in my hands. It is just what we do around here. When we get together invariably the instruments come out and folks play and sing together.

I always feel when I play or sing with other people that the sum is greater than the parts. I do it because I am part of creating something that none of us could do on our own. And you sort of get used to thinking "Can I add anything to the sound here?". And very often that "add" is doing something really, really simple.

And that fact, I think, is something that folks who don't play with others find difficult to comprehend. It is EASIER to learn to play with others than it is to learn to play solo pieces. I played dobro with a bluegrass band for about 10 years - I can't play a single solo piece on the instrument and never pick it up now unless a few friends come round for a jam. I can bang out chops on a mandolin; I can do fills on harmonica; I can lay down clawhammer rhythm on banjo; I can punch out a dance rhythm on Galax dulcimer; I can play the bones or bodhran; I can play a simple backing on flute of whistle - hell, I bet that I could even play the triangle in time! BUT - I am not a proficient solo piece player on any of those instruments.

A couple of years ago when I picked up guitar again to learn to play and sing solo pieces with guitar I knew that it was going to be the hardest thing that I'd tried to do in a long time. That it would require more discipline and practice than playing in a band had required, and that my approach would have to be very structured. However, I also knew that without an end goal, ie without specifically training for "performance" (open mic', campfire, parties etc) then I would never progress. Performing solo is completely different to playing with others, and much, much harder. Playing with others does require/develops certain specific skills - but I would suggest that these skills are simpler to acquire than the ones needed to be a solo performer.

And like I said earlier, playing with others is about creating something musical that's greater than you can as an individual - and that's very special.

[Rosewood99]

Somehow playing finger style with others just doesn’t seem appealing to me.

[Fret-O'File]

I played in original bands from age 17 to 35.
We had some minor success with a couple of the bands and when our last shot at really doing something fizzled I quit, sold all my gear, and thought I was done with playing. A couple of years later I discovered fingerstyle acoustic guitar and that ignited my passion for playing. That was about 12 years ago and haven't played with anyone but myself since then ;-). Fingerstyle guitar doesn't seem to be a jamming type of style. I've recently got into Flatpicking a bit so maybe I will try to find someone to jam with but I get really nervous playing in front of people now and I never play my best so I think playing at home by myself is what it will be for me but who knows what lies ahead.

[Skip Ellis]

I've played in every kind of band you can imagine for over 50 years - country, surf, polka (!), classic rock, oldies duo, solo jazz chord melody, solo fingerstyle , and Equity theater. Money was the driving factor and I played with whoever I had to to get paid. I live in an area where, nowadays, if you don't play 'tiki bar' (Buffet) or electric blues, you don't play and everyone has a 'jam' mentality which, to me, is waste of time. I want a tight, rehearsed group of quality musicians but, even if that scenario existed, there's no place to play. Anymore, I'd rather play fingerstyle Piedmont acoustic blues, ragtime, Kentucky thumbstyle (Travis, Pennington, Mullins, Rager), either with a partner or alone but it' s hard to find anyone interested and/or proficient in these styles. I also suffer from severe PTSD (Vietnam) and don't get along with most folks very well, anyway.

[letterk]

I love playing with others. But I do prefer knowing what we're playing ahead of time to give myself time to prep. Playing with others really pushes me to get better and in ways I can't learn individually.