Got time to add your thoughts to a tune I recorded?

the vault · #1 07-09-2007, 07:30 AM

As usual, I am mostly concerned with my vocals. I think it is my weakest point, but have improved it with time.. MUCH work is still needed! Ha!

Anyhow, if ya can... give me some honest criticism of the tune as a whole. Any comments and critique on the songwriting, levels, arrangement, lyrics, instrumentation and what ever comes to mind are TOTALLY WELCOME

The song is called "Patterns:"

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/song...songID=5536974

Enjoy the tune!

**The vocals on the verses repeat themselves. So, if you are following the lyrics I've written down... I haven't had a chance to record the second verse yet!

ljguitar · #2 07-09-2007, 07:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the vault

As usual, I am mostly concerned with my vocals. I think it is my weakest point, but have improved it with time.. MUCH work is still needed! Ha!

Anyhow, if ya can... give me some honest criticism of the tune as a whole.

Hi Bernardo...
Love the guitar work in this - nice contrast between the percussive chords in the ''left'' with the running parallel 6ths in the ''right'' side. Nice lead part too.

You are right about the vocals, there are times you miss the intonation on a key note or two. Are you recording vocals with one ear uncovered? It is usually harder to stay in tune with both ears under the phones.

The song as it matures would benefit from more dynamic contrast unless you are going for a radio mix where everything has to be jammed to the top so it will be as loud as possible.

rlouie · #3 07-09-2007, 07:57 AM

I really liked it, the feel, the groove, all of it.....the only criticism I have is that you (your voice) tends to go flat on the ends of some of the phrases.............other than that it's a nice song................

Chicago Sandy · #4 07-09-2007, 02:56 PM

I agree with everyone else--but might also add that if you are close-miking you might want to try upping the volume and then using a little (more) compression to bring your vocal more upfront without sacrificing that appealing breathy intimacy. You might also want to do some punch-ins or auto-tuning on the flat spots--the lead vocal is salvageable if you don't want to recut the entire vocal track. (I speak from experience here--I've had vocals of mine that were meant to be throwaway scratch tracks or even just "notepads" used "as is" over my objection, and mixed down before I could recut them. Be as fussy as you need to be, especially if you are lucky enough to be your own producer).

wedge199 · #5 07-09-2007, 03:18 PM

Hey Bernardo,

The entire project is very professional and entertaining.
I believe that you are already aware the weakest link is the vocals; my suggestion is to close in on the mic and start screaming into it (this is one of those songs that blossom with this kind of attack). Are you standing while singing this or are you sitting – standing will give you the volume in your chest probably about 30% more than when sitting.

Super job with this – I wish I had your talent.

Best Regards, Jack

darrenhigh · #6 07-13-2007, 05:18 AM

I agree with most of the comments here. Good song, nice melody and chord changes with good guitar work. Just need to work on the pitch and production of the vocals as suggested by folks with much more expertise than me.

I would suggest only (if possible) to have the vocal urgency change or somehow indicate the outchorus with a little more emphasis or at least introduce a little variety in your phrasing so that it's not too close to the other choruses. I think this song has a lot of potential with some more work.

the vault · #7 07-13-2007, 09:21 AM

Thanks for the replies. When it comes to recording vocals, I don't know many tricks. But some of your comments include hints on how to attain a certain feel and sound in recordings. So, I'm gonna have a try at that with some future takes, and see what I can come up with.

As for pitch correction software, I have Celemony Essential. Which ironically, is 'essentially' (excuse the pun) ^^ a demo version of UNO. I'd like to spend the hundred bucks and purchase UNO, but what are your opinions on that software? Any experience with it? What I did use seemed to work out just fine! No one reported any broken windows in your replies! So, the program MUST have helped me attain some sort of coherency in my recordings!

Celemony anyone?

Thanks again for the critiques and positive responses!

Bern · #8 07-13-2007, 11:15 AM

Very nice song...!
My subjective opinion, of course, here is what I hear...
The song has, aside from the intro, three distinguished parts. Two of them are actually within the verse, I would contrast them even a little more.
Life flashes in an instant
Changes before my eyes
Don't move for an instant
Outlasting the short times
(right here you change the melody and feel, I would consider a contrast here of the backup track)
I know your somewhere out there
An neverending search,
I've been playing for, oh, so long
A lifetime of endlessness

The third is the chorus, which you bring out very nicely to a high point, so to speak, nice crescendo. I like that a lot.
All in all, it's a very nice arrangement with some interesting guitar work.

the vault · #9 07-18-2007, 04:09 PM

thanks 4 the critiques and thoughts!

Marshall · #10 07-18-2007, 10:09 PM

You have a great voice. You need to work on your vocal technique. You don't need no stinkin software. You need to get serious about vocal technique. Breath, pitch, character, expression. You're almost there. The beginning of your choruses are terrific. The instrumentation is terrific. The composition is terrific. The recording is terrific. (Work on the balance of the mix as others have said).

Bravo

the vault · #11 07-18-2007, 11:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marshall

You have a great voice. You need to work on your vocal technique. You don't need no stinkin software. You need to get serious about vocal technique. Breath, pitch, character, expression. You're almost there. The beginning of your choruses are terrific. The instrumentation is terrific. The composition is terrific. The recording is terrific. (Work on the balance of the mix as others have said).

Bravo

Jeez, Bravo! Thanks for the mega compliments, but I'm not really sure about how to take my vocal abilities to the next level. Can you provide any tips on how to improve my breath, pitch, character and expression techniques?

I don't have any access/time for lessons.

Marshall · #12 07-19-2007, 06:54 AM

Hhhmm. What I try to to is be self critical and directed about what I do.

Sing any chance you can get. Sing in a choir. Sing in the shower. Go to church, sit in a pew, and belt out some hymns. Sing in the car. (I actually use the car a lot).

Recording is good. Listen to you voice critically in play-back. What works ? What doesn't ? Try different things. Breath support is always critical (one of my big problems).

Pitch is important, but not critical. I think tone and expression are probably most important. Many pro singers aren't perfectly on pitch. (I don't think Eddie Veder has ever hit a note square-on in his whole life). And what about Tom Waits ? Try to apply some pitch correction software on him ! See what you get.

I don't know. See if there are any video singing lessons. Google the topic. Read up on it. There's got to be literature out there.

The important this is to get serious about developing that God given instrument.

(Too many people on guitar boards get all excited about the tone of thier wooden instrument. They work hard to learn to play it. Then they just let thier voice be whatever it is when they wake up in the morning. In most all songs, the voice is the primary instrument.)

Marshall · #13 07-19-2007, 07:12 AM

Work on vowel and consonant sounds. How do you form them? Where do you form them? A lot of times i like to picture like I'm singing from my chest or my belly; not my throat.

Try singing like you have a hot potatoe in your mouth. Play with the sounds.
Id's zo weasy

When I was a kid (age showing here) i used to like to sing songs by the Beau Brummels. They played with the vocal sounds so much.

Now there's a time to be schmatlzy. And there's a time to be clear and clean. But you need to develope those tools.

Some vowel consonant sounds are just hard to form. Especially when they're at the end of a phrase or in a hard part of your register. If I have to end a phrase on a high note that's strained, sometimes I just punch at it and release. There's nothing worse than hanging on a screaching sound searching for the real note. That's the vocal equivalent of nails-on-a-chalk-board.

. . . , enough for now.

valleyguy · #14 07-20-2007, 12:23 PM

Two things to help your vocals. First, try to put some excitement, interest in your singing, sing it like you care what you're saying. Stand up,get expressive, use your hands, etc. Second, you tend to slur the words, a common thing in first time singers. Try to really enunciate the words, move your mouth and lips more, ENUNCIATE! Makes a huge difference. Notice how singers really move their mouths more than someone just talking. Compression will also help.

BTW, great song and guitar work, though the lead at the end got a little off.

the vault · #15 07-20-2007, 07:14 PM

i think I really need to start doing all these things y'all seasoned vocalists (no sarcasm intended; true comment based on your knowledge of singing) are talking about.

Believe it or not, I've always had a fear of singing since I was 16. The first time I sang and played guitar simultaniously (on stage) was at my high school, some 12 years ago. I sang the Pumpkins "Mayonaise," and Nirvana's "Rape Me." After it was over, one guy came up to me and totally made fun of me and made me think I sounded really bad. Up until last year, I'd been afraid to sing, or develop those chops because of that incident. But not anymore, this is my God-given instrument.