Thinking about quitting lessons

[JonPR]

Originally Posted by Mad Max

So, I've been taking guitar lessons for a few months now and I'm thinking about quitting. My teacher is very good but very serious about technique and playing in time(which I guess he should be) but I feel like having a strict regiment of scales and a song that I'm supposed to have learned by the next week, sort of takes the fun out of playing for me.
Playing guitar for me, is a way to unwind after a hard day of factory work. Also, a hard day at the shop, leaves my body(and hands) sore. So I don't feel like I'm giving the stuff he gives me to practice, the time and attention it deserves because I either don't have the time(because of working overtime) or the energy.
Plus, I know I'm never going to be a professional musician, it's just a hobby for me.
What do you think, should I stick with it a little longer and see what happens?

I suggest halving the lesson rate. If it's currently one a week, make it one every two weeks. That will give you much more time to work on what he's giving you. You will then get more out of each lesson, as well as more time to simply enjoy your hobby.
Plus you save money!

Obviously you have to agree this with your teacher, but I don't see why he'd have any problem with that. I have a student I see every fortnight (probably with similar goals and time issues to you) and it works very well. The lessons are more focused and productive.
Just make sure you're clear with your teacher that this is not a way of beginning to give up entirely. (Sometimes I've had students who reduce the lesson rate to eventually none! They say they'll call when they want to another and then they never do. That's fine by me, I have other earnings, but it's still to good to know for sure what's going to be happening.)

[srick]

Originally Posted by Joe Beamish

Ya gotta have fun playing guitar. Lessons are only good if they help you have more fun. Obviously there’s work involved. But it should be fun.

Yup - that's why we 'play' guitar! And I'd rather 'play' my guitar than 'work' at it.

But seriously, there is only so much learning and muscle memory that you can assimilate is a certain amount of time. Plus, life often gets in the way. As for myself, I am always surprised at what I hear after I take a couple of weeks off. Somehow I improve by not practicing . I think what is actually happening is that my ears hear the playing (and the errors) better and what I call 'self-correction' starts. It is truly a journey.

[hubcapsc]

At the end of the summer, in between college semesters, I got
the chance to take some lessons from a well known (around here)
bluegrass guy. I still remember those lessons, and a couple of
the songs... I recently relearned the name of one of them, Under
The Double Eagle, and also I brought him a Dylan album and he
taught me how to pick out those talking blues songs Dylan used
to do.

Anywho... the next semester started and I had to go back to the
college town... I wish I'd stuck with that guy longer, I remember
he even invited me over to his house on the night that a bunch
of people came over each week to pick, it would have really
done me some good to do that more than once...

-Mike "never will or have been a professional musician "

[jaymarsch]

Some great advice here. It took me a number of years for me to find the right teacher for me. I also work full time so have less time to practice on some weeks. I now do an hour lesson once a month with a teacher who knows exactly what I am interested in learning. I have made the most progress than ever before. So, you might start by letting your teacher know how you are feeling and also maybe go twice a month and see how it goes.

Best,
Jayne

[roylor4]

Originally Posted by Mad Max

That's another thing, I've been playing for a while now. He has definitely pointed me in the right direction on a few things. But as far as technically playing the music... I feel like it would be harder and it would take longer, but I could learn it on my own.
Also, I love playing bluegrass but I also love heavy metal and blues. I've been trying so hard to learn the stuff he's giving me, to the level that he expects me to play it, that I haven't picked up my electric guitars in months.
I appreciate everyone's input. This is a great forum, it's nice to hear some friendly constructive criticism and different opinions, to help with my decision.

Take a break. Do your own thing. You're an adult and anyone that you are paying for lessons should shape them in the direction YOU want to go, not the way THEY want you to go. If it's sucking away the joy from playing, that's all you need to know. Taking and paying for lessons you don't enjoy is a fruitless endeavor.

Go your own direction for a while. You can always go back to lessons if you want - with the same teacher, or a different one.

I totally disagree with those saying to stay with this guy and grind it out. If it's not a good fit, walk away and thank them for what they have taught you. You are paying them, you don't need to give them a reason or justify what you do.

It sound like perhaps this teacher is a BG/Country purist, and that's not where your heads at.

[Golffishny]

Have you discussed your thoughts with your teacher? Together you may adjust your lesson frequency and his lesson plans to keep your interest. If you can't come to a mutual understanding, it may be time to thank him for how far he took you and look for a new teacher.

[Silly Moustache]

Learning from a teacher can be trying. I've NEVER stayed with a teacher for that long.

Going to a guitar teacher and saying "teach me to play" is a bit like going to your doctor and saying "cure me" without telling him/her what is wrong.
to be fair to your teacher, it is better to know WHAT you want to learn, as if not, he/she will simply have to revert to basics, which include the aspects you have mentioned.
Obviously a sense of time and scales is a requirement for any progression in the art.
(Did I learn my scales initially? Nope.
Did I have a tendency to speed up? Yup

I did everything wrong.

so, try to help your teacher - get an idea of where you want to go with this adventure, and , maybe even prime yourself by learning the basics of notes and scales, i.e, about music, rather than about laring the guitar.

[BallisticSquid]

My first thought was to reduce the frequency of lessons...perhaps every other week or even once a month.

I took lessons for about a year and started falling woefully behind the material. It was hard for me to pick up and I grew frustrated when we began moving onto new things before I had the current stuff under my belt. Eventually I quit lessons because it was just a source of frustration.

A very good point was made that teaching guitar shouldn't be a "one size fits all" situation. If it is with this teacher, perhaps this teacher isn't a good fit.

[Glennwillow]

Originally Posted by Kitkatjoe

Jerry Lee was taking lessons his teacher was real strict. He demanded that he play the piano his way. Jerry Lee didn't like his way so he played it Lewis style and got slapped. That was the end of the teacher pupil relationship. The music was in Jerry and boy did it come out.
Guitar playing should be fun. It sounds like you maybe ready to play it your way. 😉

My oldest son was so depressed taking piano lessons when he was young. So my wife allowed him to stop. (I never had lessons in my whole life, so I didn't have a problem with him stopping, either.)

Later, our son learned to play piano on his own, and now he is very good. He composes music for podcasts, videos, video games, movies, etc.

I have trouble playing the guitar when I am physically tired. I know what this feels like. I also know what it feels like to want to have music as a way of relaxing rather than an added stress.

It might be time to give it a break and just learn on your own, at your own speed, in your own way. Then go back to formal instruction later when the physical and mental demands on you are not quite so great. Or... not. Sometimes sticking with a regimen when it's really uncomfortable pays dividends later. It depends on what you want from the guitar.

Learning to play Bluegrass well and in proper time is a difficult challenge. If you want it badly, then maybe this is your opportunity.

Best of luck to you!

- Glenn

[Gottaplay]

IMO Capefisherman nailed it.

By whatever means find a method that challenges yet still provides you joy.

Avoid falling into the trap of unfocused practise. If bluegrass flat picking is your current focus you ought to be able to find instruction that inspires you to practise and play so that it builds you up.

If you can't talk with your instructor about what's wrong understand that that's their bucket of **** not yours, there are plenty of other options.

No matter what keep playing.

[BallisticSquid]

Originally Posted by Glennwillow

My oldest son was so depressed taking piano lessons when he was young. So my wife allowed him to stop. (I never had lessons in my whole life, so I didn't have a problem with him stopping, either.)

Later, our son learned to play piano on his own, and now he is very good. He composes music for podcasts, videos, video games, movies, etc.

I have trouble playing the guitar when I am physically tired. I know what this feels like. I also know what it feels like to want to have music as a way of relaxing rather than an added stress.

It might be time to give it a break and just learn on your own, at your own speed, in your own way. Then go back to formal instruction later when the physical and mental demands on you are not quite so great. Or... not. Sometimes sticking with a regimen when it's really uncomfortable pays dividends later. It depends on what you want from the guitar.

Learning to play Bluegrass well and in proper time is a difficult challenge. If you want it badly, then maybe this is your opportunity.

Best of luck to you!

- Glenn

It's also hard when you are mentally tired or exhausted. This is my problem. Quitting my day job to properly learn guitar and practice isn't in the cards, so it is what it is .

I think it's important to factor these things in when you look at how you are progressing.

[bbatko]

I still take lessons but went from every week to every other week as I’m still working and didn’t have enough time in between to practice. This works out much better for me.
Brian

[mr. beaumont]

How often are you taking lessons?

It's not bad to have someone to kick you in the butt every now and then...especially if they're a stickler for playing in time, because that's what separates the guitar owners from the guitar players.

If your time is limited and you're doing something like once a week lessons, maybe you need to pare that back a bit. You DO need to work on the fun stuff too, because guitar playing IS fun.

But if you actually want to get better, having someone to "give it to you straight" every now and then is invaluable.

[rmp]

coming from a person who taught for quite a # of years, if you are not having fun while learning, the answer is simply, you have the wrong teacher.

[capefisherman]

I agree with the every-other week concept. In fact, I no longer offer weekly lessons. Lots of reasons for this but mostly it is because my students (who are almost all adults) wish they had time to practice diligently every day to make progress on their lesson but unfortunately life gets in the way sometimes. The only down side I see with people coming for a lesson every other week is that some people will get into the habit of skipping a couple days of practice now and then right after their lesson day. Hopefully, what I give them is so exciting to learn that they'll rush right home and dive in, but alas this is probably not always the case, try as I may!

So.....a couple days go by.....I've got two weeks until my next lesson, right? That's plenty of time to learn it, right?....

And then when they pick up their guitar and try it, sometimes some vital piece of information has been forgotten. So they end up practicing the piece WRONG. Two weeks are wasted. I always urge my students to play right after their lesson, even if only for a few minutes to cement what we've worked on. I also send sound files of the music, both slow and faster versions and this really helps. Being able to hear a piece of music with just one guitar along with the printed music I give them makes the process progress much faster than by using printed music alone.

But ultimately, I think that for adults with jobs, families and other obligations doing lessons every-other week makes the most sense. I don't make as much money as doing every week but oh well. Anything that reduces the stress level is good. In spite of my absolute best efforts at trying to make it a positive, relaxed experience, some nervousness is always there in a student, no matter what. I try to joke about that and loosen things up. I have a sign on the wall above where I set up in my studio. It says:

I played it so much better at HOME!

Everyone gets a kick out of that. ;~)