Ryan Adams Wonderwall

GibbyPrague · #1 03-22-2016, 06:26 AM

Please feel free to comment, or throw tomatoes.

https://soundcloud.com/euroaussie/wonderwall-ryan-adams

Chris' Guitar · #2 03-24-2016, 08:45 PM

Thanks for sharing. Jmho pay close attention to key and changes in vocals.

JoeCharter · #3 03-24-2016, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris' Guitar

Thanks for sharing. Jmho pay close attention to key and changes in vocals.

Unfortunately I may have to agree with the previous post.

At first I thought maybe Ryan Adams had come up with a "creative" melody -- but I just listened to his version and he pretty much sticks with the original melody and the harmonies are rather conventional as well.

Hitting the right notes on pitch is not a subjective matter and in this case I'd have to say that you sing the wrong notes in several areas and that pitch control is questionable throughout.

If you can't hear by yourself that you're off pitch and off scale, I'm afraid you may have some core issues to address before you can make further progress as a singer.

GibbyPrague · #4 03-25-2016, 04:41 AM

I wasn't actually aiming to follow the exactly same melody that Ryan Adams was singing but rather what felt right to me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoeCharter

Unfortunately I may have to agree with the previous post.

At first I thought maybe Ryan Adams had come up with a "creative" melody -- but I just listened to his version and he pretty much sticks with the original melody and the harmonies are rather conventional as well.

Hitting the right notes on pitch is not a subjective matter and in this case I'd have to say that you sing the wrong notes in several areas and that pitch control is questionable throughout.

If you can't hear by yourself that you're off pitch and off scale, I'm afraid you may have some core issues to address before you can make further progress as a singer.

rokdog49 · #5 03-25-2016, 07:18 AM

You have a nice voice but I have to agree with the previous posts. Pitchy.
If you can't hear it, you might try some lessons. Lots of us have had them. It helps.
On the other hand, it's just my opinion.

noledog · #6 03-25-2016, 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GibbyPrague

I wasn't actually aiming to follow the exactly same melody that Ryan Adams was singing but rather what felt right to me.

Hey Mark,

I understand some of the constructive comments on pitchiness, however, I do hear your own spin on this in a Dylanesque way which is cool. Guitar tone also sounds cool.

cheers mate,

eric

Jeremy · #7 03-25-2016, 09:05 AM

Hey Mark,

Like Eric, I got a cool Dylan-like vibe from this. It was a bit pitchy in a few places, but overall an interesting take on this song.

Thanks for sharing.

JoeCharter · #8 03-25-2016, 09:12 AM

Despite his "careless" style and raspy voice, Dylan actually sings in tune. On some earlier recordings he even showed some soulful vocal skills:

https://www.facebook.com/LegacyRecor...__mref=message

It's not my style to post anything subjectively negative about a fellow musician's efforts. If I don't like a particular recording, I just skip it.

But singing in tune is not an opinion, it can actually be measured. Same with coming up with phrases that are in the wrong key. I have no interest in being unpleasant to Mark -- on the contrary I'm trying to be helpful.

For amateurs, being occasionally out of tune is semi-okay -- but here the singing is extremely pitchy and definitely not ready for public performances if one wants to leave the stage with their pride intact.

PeterVanParker · #9 03-25-2016, 12:35 PM

Aside from the tuning issues, I like the style and the actual tone of your voice is strong.

GibbyPrague · #10 03-26-2016, 01:15 AM

I'd like to thank all who contributed and provided feedback. I have no doubt it was with the intention of encouraging ongoing improvement, which is the best kind of feedback.

BUDSTER · #11 03-26-2016, 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GibbyPrague

I'd like to thank all who contributed and provided feedback. I have no doubt it was with the intention of encouraging ongoing improvement, which is the best kind of feedback.

Gibby, Love your positive attitude on the constructive feedback here. That is what keeps us evolving as players and singers. Keep up the good work. Bud

JoeCharter · #12 03-27-2016, 07:47 PM

You know, Mark, the more I listen to your recording, the more it reminds me of my own singing.

When I sing, I think to myself "wow not bad at all" -- but when I listen to the playback I am reminded each time that I can't sing in tune. I mean I did ten years of solfege and I can hit the right notes -- but never exactly bang on.

That's about what you sound like as well. I don't really know whether proper singing lessons would help. Unlike you I don't have the charisma to be a singer so I quit a long time ago...

While most of it is "almost" okay, the phrases that you sing around 0m45s and 1m10s are particularly "wrong". And then you seem to get a little tired near the end and it gets pretty shaky.

IMHO, this kind of performance would be semi-okay in an easy-going, friendly open mic. It would not be suitable for professional entertainment like playing in a bar or restaurant (again IMHO).

While nothing is impossible, I think you'll need to make a spectacular change (e.g. singing lessons, lots of practice, etc.) in order to become a competent singer.

rmyAddison · #13 03-28-2016, 06:49 AM

This is why I, and a number of long time members, no longer post in Show & Tell anymore..............

2 reasons. There is an "in group" here that responds to each other's posts with nothing but praise, regardless of how good or bad, the same people lauding each other over and over and over, nothing truly constructive about it. Telling someone how great a mediocre song is does nothing to improve the player or the song.

Secondly, well intentioned constructive criticism is gone, years ago folks would ask for and receive help/suggestions, I've been on both sides of that process, now folks are treated like pariahs for being honest and trying to help someone grow, or accused of being "not nice", are we not adults?

Mark/Gibby, that song is not for you, for starters the key is too high for your voice. It isn't pitchy in spots, it is seriously off key and sounds (as Joe/Mao mentioned) like someone who may not realize they are off key, and that is a challenge to overcome.

My humble suggestion is find a song that you think fits your voice, is in your vocal range, and you are as comfortable as you can be, and post what you think is a good representative recording, and suitable for critique.

I look forward to your next song post..............

SalFromChatham · #14 03-28-2016, 07:06 AM

I post sometimes in Show and Tell.

Of course members support each other with praise and encouragement. That's not a bad thing.

And JoeCharter's post is well-intentioned, with suggestions. I dont think anyone has referred to Joe as a pariah?

Frankly, when I post here (and on the Gibson Acoustic forum), it's because I am testing material to see how it is received for inclusion in a public gig. It's natural that folks dont line up and say "Sal... that is off. it needs work". I guess it is testament to the "nice" factor of the membership. Although I would have no problem if they did. I don't thing Gibby has a problem with it either in this thread.

But when I dont receive much commentary, I read into that too. I figure folks are just being nice, and the song of mine is not ready, or not good. That's a good thing.

And I comment on other threads when I believe it is really good. And when I have the time to go through and listen to all the threads here, which I dont always have time for.

Typically if I dont comment, its because I didnt watch or listen (75% of the time), or I am afraid of hurting one's feelings (25% of the time).