tough situation

[eyesore]

this saturday[ i think i may have to play 'you've got a friend "at one of my best friends funeral . how the hell do you get thru this?!! he and i were in a band for 12 years and we were as close as... i just can't think of anything .we talked all the time even after our band broke up. his wife asked if i could do it. not sure how or when or if it is going to happen. but how do you keep from breaking down during something like a funeral? i''m a wreak already!

See if you can get someone else to harmonize with you. You will give each other the strength and momentum to get through it. But even if you do break down during the song, it will be heartfelt and honest, and that's all that really matters.

He was lucky to have you as a friend, and I'm very sorry for your loss.

[fitness1]

Originally Posted by eyesore

this saturday[ i think i may have to play 'you've got a friend "at one of my best friends funeral . how the hell do you get thru this?!! he and i were in a band for 12 years and we were as close as... i just can't think of anything .we talked all the time even after our band broke up. his wife asked if i could do it. not sure how or when or if it is going to happen. but how do you keep from breaking down during something like a funeral? i''m a wreak already!

First thing I'd consider is recording it and playing back YOUR version of it. I know I couldn't do it......I get emotional watching movies, let alone this scenario.

Sorry about your buddy.

[HeyMikey]

My condolences on the lost of your good friend. Man that's a real tough one. I'm not sure I'd be able hold it together. My old band mates were like brothers. Throughout the good and the bad there is still that bond. You would certainly be doing him an honor, but I'm sure he and everyone else would certainly understand if you had to decline. Maybe you need to play it by ear and just see how you are doing at that particular moment.

[llew]

So sorry for your loss. I agree with the harmony vocal. It'll help you get through it and give you support. And even the best lose their composure under these type situations? Just go in knowing you're going to do your best for your friend...that's all that matters. You're gonna do just fine!

[Scott O]

Even if there's someone who can join that can sing along but not harmonize, that would be a big help to you I'd think. Consider it an honor, good luck, and sorry for losing your buddy.

[Lauren_WarEagle]

So very sorry for your loss. I agree with maybe having someone there to back you up vocally, or I'd even recommend recording your version and having them play that at the service instead, if it makes it easier. You could give the recording to the family as a keepsake, too, that I'm sure they will treasure. My sister and I sang "When I Get Where I'm Going" at a friend's funeral several years ago, and we both could not get through the song. It's a tough thing for sure.

[guitar george]

I was asked by my two sisters to either sing and play my guitar or give a speech at my mother's funeral. I find it easier to play my guitar and sing than to give a speech. I sang my own version of "Hello Again" by Neil Diamond. I changed some of the words and called it "Hello My Friends". Other than being sad and having a few light sobs, I got through it. People expect you to be sad at a funeral and noone is going to be at all critical if you have a few breaking moments.

[Goodallboy]

So sorry about the loss of your friend! I couldn't pull that off if my best friend and playing partner passed away. There's no way.

I wish you luck!

[rwmct]

I don't know if this would help, but even the greatest pros sometimes feel it under these circumstances. The one that sticks in my mind is Vince Gill and Patty Loveless singing "Go Rest High on that Mountain" at George Jones' funeral. They were both really feeling it, especially Gill. He could not have got through it without her singing with him.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5qdfTIrOw8

[Brucebubs]

I'm reminded of Elton John performing 'Candle In The Wind' at the funeral of his friend Lady Diana.
He famously changed the lyrics to 'Goodbye England's rose' solely for that event and has never sung it that way again, reverting back to 'Goodbye Norma Jean' for concert performances.

[Guitars+gems]

It's lovely that you're willing to try, and if you break down, you will not be crying alone. What if you asked everyone to sing with you? Could be a very healing experience.

Very sorry you've lost your friend.

[Zandit75]

Very sorry for your loss.
I've been in the same boat, when I was asked to sing at my Uncles funeral a couple of years ago.
Things looked like they were going quite well, the reception was very light hearted, with lots of laughter.....Until the grand kids got up to tell some stories right before I was supposed to sing "The Rose"!!
The kids did such a great job, but there was not a dry eye in the room, including mine!
I got up to sing, and my voice cracked straight away on the first words.
Kept playing, singing what I could whether I was in or out of key. Thankfully I rallied through the last few verses, and finished strong.
My guitar playing did not falter, and that I believe is the only thing that helped get me through.
Everyone is different, some things will work, others won't.
Good luck with it either way.

[captwingflap]

Have done this a few times. You have until Saturday. Between now and then Sing the song 7 or 8 times a day (or more). Each time it will get easier to get through it. At the funeral when you are doing the song don't look at any of the people in attendance. Focus on a far wall. You can do this. You will be happy that you did.

[Ten]

My Mom asked me to play at her funeral while we were taking care of her during in home hospice. My Dad played with me, and it wasn’t easy, but it means something worthwhile to do it.