Horribly uncoordinated and getting frustrated

[bufflehead]

Two things to try:

1. Choke down on the pick, so that only a sliver is showing;

2. While strumming, rest your pinky finger on the pick guard. This will make it less necessary to look at the stings to find the one to pluck.

And stop telling yourself that since you do fingerstyle that strumming should come easy. Strumming is a skill. Skill development requires practice. The time you spend doodling fingerstyle isn't helping you learn to strum.

[Merak]

Get an instructor. I tried off and on for years to teach myself and learned a little about a lot but never gained competency. I have made a lot of progress in the two months since I started lessons, best money I have spent.

[jfitz81]

Originally Posted by Associated98

my usual routine is to run through all the cowboy chords, play simple man to get my right hand warmed up, whip through a few home made riffs, and then start trying to learn stuff. After about an hour of frustration I give up for the night and put it away.

You've gotten lots of good advice already. Lessons are great, and don't worry about being too old for them. I took lessons in my thirties and was far from the oldest student my teacher had.

One thing I'll add: next time you get frustrated, go back to what works rather than what doesn't. Play Simple Man for an hour. Someone will ask you to please stop playing Simple Man. Keep playing it. Then they'll demand that you stop playing Simple Man. Keep playing it. Eventually they'll threaten you and/or your guitar, and you'll have to decide for yourself whether you take that threat seriously or not. Be safe. But keep playing Simple Man.

[SunnyDee]

I, too, wondered if you're really left-handed especially since you said you had rhythm issues on the right. I didn't see an answer to that, but I would counter the advice of just going ahead right-handed if a left-handed player were having this much trouble with it. It's not that hard to mirror what has already been learned to the other side and it could make all the difference. I'd at least suggest trying an open tuning so fretting would be easier while experimenting with the left hand for rhythm. If handedness were an issue.

[Associated98]

I have been looking around for lessons (currently unemployed but as soon as I find a job I will be seeking a teacher) and this is proving difficult as just about everyone under the sun is offering lessons. Its hard to find someone reputable. I read a few web sites suggesting different teachers as I progress. I would really like to find someone who I can connect with and stick with as I grow. I really do better if I can bond with my teachers (was the same way in high school and college, the classes I did best in where the ones I bonded with my instructors/professors). It helps take the nerve off and ease my anxiety of messing up. I know its a weird thing to be worried about as a student but I cant help how I feel.

My left hand is amazing with everything except difficult stretches (ehh-hmm Spanish Romance lol) and fast transitions. Once a chord is memorized I pound it into muscle memory and rarely have to worry about it again. But I cant teach it anything new with my right hand being the center of attention all the time. My dad is semi ambidextrous. Each hand does better at somethings, ie: he is a left handed writer but right handed bass player. I will try to explore the chance of me being a left handed player. It would really suck if I was though because I just picked up a beautiful Yamaha FG 412 a few months ago and I adore that guitar.

Ive tried a few right hand exercises and its not that my right cant do it, its just not reliable. Even a simple every other string exercise using the cowboy chords I will miss a string every once in a while or hit the same string twice. This is usually when I get most frustrated as I know I can do it/have done a million times, but for what ever reason still fumble. even just a few minutes ago, tried to play the opener for qweensryche silent lucidity and fumbled over and over, even though I have every note/string memorized. One of the first songs I learned like forever ago but still sound like I just picked it up a few hours ago. Very very very easy tune to play. Unless your me lol.

Once again I just want to thank everyone who has offered their advice and support, it really does help keep me passionate about the beautiful art of music, or more importantly, the guitar. You guys are the best. Just over the past couple of days I have learned a ton of new things to try and ways to help my self progress. Not only that, but I dont feel like such a goober anymore. Thanks guys.

Spencer

[TBman]

Originally Posted by Associated98

I have been looking around for lessons (currently unemployed but as soon as I find a job I will be seeking a teacher) and this is proving difficult as just about everyone under the sun is offering lessons. Its hard to find someone reputable. I read a few web sites suggesting different teachers as I progress. I would really like to find someone who I can connect with and stick with as I grow. I really do better if I can bond with my teachers (was the same way in high school and college, the classes I did best in where the ones I bonded with my instructors/professors). It helps take the nerve off and ease my anxiety of messing up. I know its a weird thing to be worried about as a student but I cant help how I feel.

My left hand is amazing with everything except difficult stretches (ehh-hmm Spanish Romance lol) and fast transitions. Once a chord is memorized I pound it into muscle memory and rarely have to worry about it again. But I cant teach it anything new with my right hand being the center of attention all the time. My dad is semi ambidextrous. Each hand does better at somethings, ie: he is a left handed writer but right handed bass player. I will try to explore the chance of me being a left handed player. It would really suck if I was though because I just picked up a beautiful Yamaha FG 412 a few months ago and I adore that guitar.

Ive tried a few right hand exercises and its not that my right cant do it, its just not reliable. Even a simple every other string exercise using the cowboy chords I will miss a string every once in a while or hit the same string twice. This is usually when I get most frustrated as I know I can do it/have done a million times, but for what ever reason still fumble. even just a few minutes ago, tried to play the opener for qweensryche silent lucidity and fumbled over and over, even though I have every note/string memorized. One of the first songs I learned like forever ago but still sound like I just picked it up a few hours ago. Very very very easy tune to play. Unless your me lol.

Once again I just want to thank everyone who has offered their advice and support, it really does help keep me passionate about the beautiful art of music, or more importantly, the guitar. You guys are the best. Just over the past couple of days I have learned a ton of new things to try and ways to help my self progress. Not only that, but I dont feel like such a goober anymore. Thanks guys.

Spencer

You might be practicing too fast. You have to slow things down to the point where there are zero mistakes. Work on small sections of a tune, not the whole thing all at once. There are plenty of nights when almost all I will do is work on 2 bars of a tune (finger style). It can be boring, but its the way to do it. There are times I practice so slow that paint drys faster than I play.

[SprintBob]

You need structure, a teacher, patience, goals, and humbleness in the sense this should be fun and don’t be so hard on yourself. I started playing at age 55 and kick myself at times for not starting sooner. I envy you at your age with your desire and passion.

[Mandobart]

Originally Posted by Associated98

I have been looking around for lessons (currently unemployed but as soon as I find a job I will be seeking a teacher) and this is proving difficult as just about everyone under the sun is offering lessons. Its hard to find someone reputable. I read a few web sites suggesting different teachers as I progress. I would really like to find someone who I can connect with and stick with as I grow. I really do better if I can bond with my teachers (was the same way in high school and college, the classes I did best in where the ones I bonded with my instructors/professors). It helps take the nerve off and ease my anxiety of messing up.

Talk to the students of each of these teachers; just like you would seek recommendations for any business or service.

Originally Posted by Associated98

My left hand is amazing with everything except difficult stretches (ehh-hmm Spanish Romance lol) and fast transitions. Once a chord is memorized I pound it into muscle memory and rarely have to worry about it again. But I cant teach it anything new with my right hand being the center of attention all the time. My dad is semi ambidextrous. Each hand does better at somethings, ie: he is a left handed writer but right handed bass player. I will try to explore the chance of me being a left handed player. It would really suck if I was though because I just picked up a beautiful Yamaha FG 412 a few months ago and I adore that guitar.

About right vs left handed - I don't know what role genetics may play. Both my parents were right handed. Both my brothers and I are left handed. Both my sisters are right handed. My wife is right handed. Both our kids (son and daughter) are left handed. About 11% of the US population is left handed. In my field (nuclear power and propulsion) about 50% of us are left handed. I've always played violin, bass, guitar, mandolin, etc. right handed. I suggest you try guitar left handed just to see, but unless there is something physically limiting the use of one hand vs the other, I think learning to play any stringed instrument is awkward for each hand at first.

[reeve21]

Associated--if you are not having luck finding a good teacher by word of mouth I can suggest lessons.com.

I received half a dozen very good proposals from local teachers. It was hard to choose. Pricing was very competitive.

[jseth]

Associated98;

Surprises me that no one has said the obvious solution for your problem, although one reply came close...

YOU have to play more! That's all it is, just keep after it and it will come. As long as I've played the guitar (well over 50 years), I have always hit plateaus... times when something I'm trying to learn or pick up just won't come... so I keep after it (and refrain from throwing my guitar against the wall!) and, before you know it... VOILA! I'm looking back, saying, "That wasn't such a big deal after all...".

It will help if you can shift your mind set abut your right hand... I mean, after all, it is YOUR hand and you're in charge of it! Get it in your mind what you want it do, and then be easy about it... instead of noticing when things DON'T go the way you want, start noticing (and complimenting yourself/ your hand) on the good stuff that's happening. In every aspect of life, our own mental outlook has a HUGE effect on results...

About teachers... don't be afraid to "interview" teachers to discover if they'll work for you... you have to be able to connect with an instructor on some level, and you may as well know out front. Not all guitar "teachers" are created equal!

If you know WHAT you want to learn, or WHERE you want to go with the guitar playing, it will be of paramount assistance to both yourself and any teacher you choose. Take the time to find out the answers to those questions, FOR YOU... not for me or anyone else, but just so YOU know where you want to go. You can always change your mind down the road; it's not a "forever" kind of deal...

Playing guitar is REALLY like a journey... not a race, not a competition; it's whatever you want it to be... but you had better have fun along the way, or else, what's the point?

Trust me, you are not going through anything that every other serious player hasn't gone through as well... let us know how it goes!

Good luck! Enjoy the ride....

[Gordon Currie]

Originally Posted by Mandobart

Sorry, but in my experience "on-and-off playing for 10 years" with one year actually getting serious is not "10 years of playing." It's one.

Completely agree. Since so much of playing an instrument is muscle memory, there is no substitute for putting in the (many) hours. It is possible to shave off a little time by focused and organized practice, and often that is enabled by a good teacher.

Originally Posted by jseth

It will help if you can shift your mind set abut your right hand... I mean, after all, it is YOUR hand and you're in charge of it! Get it in your mind what you want it do, and then be easy about it... instead of noticing when things DON'T go the way you want, start noticing (and complimenting yourself/ your hand) on the good stuff that's happening. In every aspect of life, our own mental outlook has a HUGE effect on results...

If you think you have a crappy right hand, you'll never gain a good right hand by struggling against your OWN viewpoint.

Honest self-criticism is a valuable tool. Unfortunately, most of us have a hard time turning off self-criticism when it no longer serves a purpose (i.e. when it is no longer honest). So we tend to build up unhealthy and limiting 'descriptions' of ourselves over time, and those become the foundation of how we view our abilities.

Sometimes I find it a bit of a miracle that I kept going with all the mental baggage I carried around for so long! But then I remember all the moments of elation and deep connection I've experienced, and it doesn't seem like such a miracle, more like a historical inevitability

[Silly Moustache]

Originally Posted by JonPR

Hmm, that's an interesting sounding creature, Dr Frankenstein. Could you make me one? (Preferably remove the claws from the cat part.)

No the claws come with the package ... Oh, on the cat?

[colchar]

Maybe try using your fingers to pluck strings? I don't mean fingerstyle (ie. patterns and such), I just mean plucking with your fingers.

[RustyAxe]

Originally Posted by David MacNeill

Write your own songs. If you make a mistake, nobody knows but you!

Unfortunately, many open mic performers take this advice literally.

[kobrian58]

Originally Posted by Associated98

**be warned this is a long rant!**

I've hit a spot of deep frustration and can not go on further. I still, after playing on/off over probably 10 years or so and very steadily the last year or so can not for the love of God get my right hand to memorize string position. If I'm not paying nearly 100% attention to my plucking hand I will miss/muffle/play completely wrong string/hit multiple strings, it just sounds horrible. And forget about strumming two or three strings. Unless its the first three strings they all get hit with the pick. It's miserably hard to learn anything with my left hand when I'm staring at and paying attention to my right hand constantly. The most difficult thing I can play currently is a half butted version of black bird by the Beatles and it sounds horse waste. I'm not a very coordinated person, so much so I can't even hum and play at the same time. My right hand losses time and my left hand stops moving. Is there any hope for me? They say practice makes perfect but after 10 years I would think I could at least pluck a specific string with out looking at it. I'm 20 years old and have gotten serious about playing about a year ago. I have been playing nearly every night since and am unbelievably board with my limited library but can't learn anything new due to my clumsy hands. I've been trying to learn Spanish Romance, get smoother and more accurate with Dust in the Wind, and get past the first line of Scarborough Fair. It's impossible with my horrible hands. UUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!

Thanks for reading my ramblings and for any advice. I love playing guitar. I just wish I could "play" guitar.

This would be a good time to find a good teacher. There are many types of guitar teachers out there. If you are not sure where to start go to a good music store near you and ask. It sounds like you want to learn finger style, not flat pick, not rhythm. Its not the music that matters so much but the style. You are not a total beginner but its early enough for you to learn good habits and unlearn bad habits. Sometimes one or two pieces of good advice can make a world of difference. (For me, learning a pivot point or anchor helped in shifting from one chord to another so much!) Also, there are really good resources like Acoustic Guitar magazine and TONS of free videos on youtube.com. Here's a good goal that helped me: choose a handful of fingerstyle Christmas songs to learn. You will know them by heart before you start. You'll know if it sounds good or not. There are TONS of free TAB for Christmas songs and most are not super hard to learn. You'll feel super confident learning some. You'll learn some good habits and you'll be able to get some feedback from your friends and family.