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  #31  
Old 05-08-2022, 12:49 PM
jseth jseth is offline
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How many session guitarists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

10... 1 to screw the lightbulb and 9 others to say, "I could do that..."

How many smarmy producers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

(Puts arm around your shoulders and says) "I don't know - what do you think?

The difference between a banjo and a trampoline?

Well, you take your shoes OFF to jump on a trampoline...

The difference between a banjo and a chainsaw?

Well, the chain saw has a dynamic range... AND an off/on switch...


Just a couple more to fuel the fire!
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"It's said that everything happens for a reason;
When one door closes, another door will open.
The Book says, 'To everything there is a season',
and this season is mine,
at least that's what I'm hopin'... "

"A Little More (Love, Grace, Freedom and Peace)" (J.S.Sherman)
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  #32  
Old 05-08-2022, 12:56 PM
Silly Moustache Silly Moustache is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tbeltrans View Post
A bass player runs into a bar where the guitar player and the singer are busy setting up.

Breathless, he says "We've got a big problem! I locked my keys in the van!"

"Whatever, man" says the singer, "We've got a gig to do, we'll worry about it later."

"No, you don't understand" said the bassist, "the drummer is trapped inside!"

Tony
Aha! first one I hadn't heard! good one!
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Silly Moustache,
Elderly singer, guitarist, dobrolist and mandolinist.
I'm here to help and advise only

By request, I offer one to one lessons/meetings/mentoring via Zoom! See: https://www.acousticguitarforum.com/...d.php?t=589058

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  #33  
Old 05-16-2022, 11:03 AM
tinnitus tinnitus is offline
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  #34  
Old 05-16-2022, 01:08 PM
RJVB RJVB is offline
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The email notification of your message was more intriguing!

Quote:
Originally Posted by tinnitus View Post
UCBkj5fO4k4
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Pickle: Gretsch G9240 "Alligator" wood-body resonator wearing nylguts (China, 2018?)
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Bolink baroque violin (Hilversum, 1982)
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  #35  
Old 05-17-2022, 05:12 AM
Slothead56 Slothead56 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jseth View Post

The difference between a banjo and a trampoline?

Well, you take your shoes OFF to jump on a trampoline...
Comedy gold!
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Please note: higher than average likelihood that any post by me is going to lean heavily on sarcasm. Just so we’re clear...
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  #36  
Old 05-17-2022, 06:12 AM
fpuhan fpuhan is offline
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I own 36 guitars. Most are made of wood. Some are not.
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  #37  
Old 05-17-2022, 12:27 PM
frankmcr frankmcr is offline
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How do you transcribe a violin piece for viola?

Divide the metronome marking by 2!
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per mare per terras
Last edited by frankmcr; 05-17-2022 at 05:25 PM.
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  #38  
Old 05-17-2022, 01:16 PM
tbeltrans tbeltrans is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jseth View Post
How many session guitarists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

10... 1 to screw the lightbulb and 9 others to say, "I could do that..."

How many smarmy producers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

(Puts arm around your shoulders and says) "I don't know - what do you think?

The difference between a banjo and a trampoline?

Well, you take your shoes OFF to jump on a trampoline...

The difference between a banjo and a chainsaw?

Well, the chain saw has a dynamic range... AND an off/on switch...


Just a couple more to fuel the fire!
Now I know that the woman down the hall from me is definitely not a banjo player because she has a little sign on her door saying "Thank you for removing your shoes".

Tony
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  #39  
Old 05-30-2022, 03:58 PM
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Charmed Life Picks Charmed Life Picks is offline
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What do you call a hundred banjo players at the bottom of the sea?

A good start.
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Celebrating Six Years in Business!
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  #40  
Old 05-31-2022, 12:04 PM
jseth jseth is offline
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Q? How long does it take to tune a banjo?

A: No one knows.... (rim shot!)


So, an Irish folksinger walks out of a bar....

Hey! It could happen...
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"It's said that everything happens for a reason;
When one door closes, another door will open.
The Book says, 'To everything there is a season',
and this season is mine,
at least that's what I'm hopin'... "

"A Little More (Love, Grace, Freedom and Peace)" (J.S.Sherman)
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  #41  
Old 06-02-2022, 05:46 PM
Stringmaster Stringmaster is offline
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An accordion band finally lands a gig, and on New Years Eve no less. The venue owner likes them and ask if they are available to play on the next New Years Eve. The band’s manager replies, “Yes we are, do you mid if we leave our stuff here?”
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