Playing with others......

short bald guy · #1 05-15-2012, 08:35 AM

I read on this forum that there are no stupid questions. Let's see

I would like to find others of similar skills to play with, but I am wondering how I can reliably translate my skill into words. I have played mostly at home for countless years, but solo only. I guess that I am not too smart and self taught at that. I have done the Craigslist thing, but that is proving difficult. I call myself an old "couch strummer" with reasonable skills, but not close to professional. Found players that are amazing, and many that could (sic) teach music. I avoid the ones that "played professionally" for X years. I don't want to waste the time of exceptionally skilled players by making them become music instructors. Nor do I want to attempt to play with someone who thinks "it's all about the math." At my age I am not wanting to learn theory and structure (64), though I wished I would have earlier.
I guess the difficulty is in being able to find others to play with.....Am I missing the mark, or is this simply a difficult issue?
Any advice would be great.
Love reading this forum.

Opa John · #2 05-15-2012, 08:47 AM

I'm in the same boat. I'm 69 and haven't had a pickin' partner since way back in the early '70s. I'm a flat picker and strummer who still enjoys the older stuff I've always played. The old "folky" songs and a little country music. I like some Dylan, James Taylor, Cat Stevens, Kris Kristofferson, Gordon Lightfoot, Simon & Garfunkel, CSN&Y, even some Willie songs once in awhile. BTW, if you're located somewhere in the Columbus, Ohio area, shoot me a PM. I'm also short and bald! We could bill ourselves as "The Two Bald Guys".

I've also kept an open eye for pickers on Craig's List, but all I've found are groups looking for a guitarist for their "hard rock" bands. Not my niche.

There is, however, a local mom & pop bluegrass music shop that hosts a weekend jam in their basement every Saturday. Bluegrass music isn't one of my strong points, but at least it provides me with a chance to play along with others. I used to go just about every Satuday, around noon, and play till the place closed at 5 in the evening. Kinda got away from it after about three years.

There's another open jam at another music shop near me every Wednesday evening from 6 to 9. I've gone there a few times too. It's also a lot of bluegrass stuff that I'm not really crazy about playing. Seems like after awhile it all starts sounding the same to me.

What I'm saying, I guess, is check with any local music shops in your area and see if you can find out about open jam sessions. Lotta fun if you like the music they do. You might even find someone of similar musical taste that is also looking for someone to play with on a semi-regular basis. Good luck.

HHP · #3 05-15-2012, 08:57 AM

Might try stating what you want to play musically, such as bluegrass. old time, blues, 70's rock, Tibetan chants, or whatever. Maybe even a list of potential songs/tunes you do now. Clearly state your goals for the gettogethers.

Judson · #4 05-15-2012, 09:05 AM

Try meetup.com and select guitar groups in your zip code. I found a couple of fun picking session groups as well as several great open-mics this way. Good luck!!

JanVigne · #5 05-15-2012, 09:08 AM

Most music shops have a bulletin board that allows you to post a notice looking for a jam partner. Don't get discouraged if you don't find a partner immediately. But, also, don't be discouraged by talking to a player who has been a professional for years. Talkin' is pretty cheap and you might find you have someone who wants some time off from professional jobs and just wants to play for fun every now and again. Same with people who have taught, they need time to just play. And, if they end up giving you useful tips on how to improve your playing, you certainly can't view that as a negative. You can't know until you've asked and asking is free.

You can also explore the venues in your area where you would go to hear the music you play. Generally, depending on the size of your town, there will be someone leading a jam night in at least one of the venues. These are meant to encourage non-professionals to sit in a have a good time while possibly learning a thing or to or developing some confidence to play to an audience. Take your instrument down to a jam or two and strike up a conversation with someone you would like to play with outside of the jam. The worst they can say is "no'.

BradHall · #6 05-15-2012, 09:09 AM

You might look into this. "Meetup". I found a small group that meets in a local park every other Sunday for a "Park Jam". I am the low man on the totem pole as far as skills go, but the 6 players made me feel very welcome and it was a blast getting to play with others for the first time last Sun. I plan to make it a regular part of my learning process.
The web site covers a lot of interests nationwide. You just need to search acoustic guitar to find if there is a group in your area.

Blueser100 · #7 05-15-2012, 09:15 AM

I felt like you do. First off, you are probably a lot better than you think. Playing with others can really invigorate your playing - you learn from others and others learn from you as well. To find a group I went on Meetup.com and searched for acoustic guitar jams in my general location. I found a beginner-intermediate bluegrass jam that was a lot of fun. (I had to give it up because I work Saturdays now).

I have found that most jam folks are nice and welcoming. I have found that they are forgiving of one's timing errors, bad singing, wrong chords, etc. What is not welcome IMO is when people try to take over and control the group, are impolite and loud, and don't pay attention to how things work in that particular group.

My best advice for anyone jamming with others is remember you are not playing solo on your couch. This means that when you introduce or lead a song, others may not know it and this requires you to show them the chords, hand out song sheets, and most important of all, cue them to when you are starting/ending the song.

After I played with a group for a few months my playing skill had improved quite a bit. And I had a better sense of my strengths (rhythm) and areas I wanted to improve (playing a solo).

HHP · #8 05-15-2012, 09:45 AM

Another approach is to not look for other guitar players. Look for partners who play complementary instruments like mandolin or banjo etc. Might find the skill differential less a factor.

Funkstarfish · #9 05-15-2012, 09:52 AM

i suck, Ive played about 2 months, but the only reasons im getting better fast is because i play with "pros". very patient pros, but paid musicians none the less. I buy the beer or wine or iced teas or cokes, and i show up and watch half of what they do and join in when i can. Heck, one is an awesome classical player, but doesn't know a thing about blues, so i actually taught him a few blues riffs and licks. I have learned more from 3 of these sessions than probably the entire rest of the 2 months. if they are also looking for a buddy to play with, chances are they will be pretty accepting of all skill levels, styles, etc.

Put aside the reservations and judgements, and just play music.

williejohnson · #10 05-15-2012, 09:55 AM

I can't believe no one has asked you yet, where you are located. Maybe if you are close to any forum members, you can hook up and play with them.

Willie

royd · #11 05-15-2012, 10:12 AM

I agree with those who are telling you not to worry so much about your skill level or the skill level of the other players. Find someone you enjoy being with and play music together. Don't be self-conscious... just have fun

ljguitar · #12 05-15-2012, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by short bald guy

...I guess the difficulty is in being able to find others to play with.....Am I missing the mark, or is this simply a difficult issue?
Any advice would be great.
Love reading this forum.

Hi sbd...

Retirement homes, bluegrass jams, open mic nights, folk jams etc.

Look for someone about your caliber of play (slightly better is best) and then get together for coffee/tea and some play.

Church yields a ton of casual musicians for me. I've been involved in churches extensively for over 4 decades, and many of my musician friends come from the community churches.

For me music born out of social interaction are better than contrived ones.

Judson · #13 05-15-2012, 11:04 AM

+1 on Meetup.com ... the very best way to find groups and individuals for any number of interest areras, including, but not limited to playing guitar.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blueser100

I felt like you do. First off, you are probably a lot better than you think. Playing with others can really invigorate your playing - you learn from others and others learn from you as well. To find a group I went on Meetup.com and searched for acoustic guitar jams in my general location. I found a beginner-intermediate bluegrass jam that was a lot of fun. (I had to give it up because I work Saturdays now).

I have found that most jam folks are nice and welcoming. I have found that they are forgiving of one's timing errors, bad singing, wrong chords, etc. What is not welcome IMO is when people try to take over and control the group, are impolite and loud, and don't pay attention to how things work in that particular group.

My best advice for anyone jamming with others is remember you are not playing solo on your couch. This means that when you introduce or lead a song, others may not know it and this requires you to show them the chords, hand out song sheets, and most important of all, cue them to when you are starting/ending the song.

After I played with a group for a few months my playing skill had improved quite a bit. And I had a better sense of my strengths (rhythm) and areas I wanted to improve (playing a solo).

devellis · #14 05-15-2012, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blackville

+1 on Meetup.com ... the very best way to find groups and individuals for any number of interest areras, including, but not limited to playing guitar.

I wonder if this varies by region, or perhaps musical interests. I've never hit pay-dirt with meetup.com. I did discover, though, that there are people with interests I never could have imagined.

mchalebk · #15 05-15-2012, 01:23 PM

A few possibilities (some already mentioned);

1. Open Mic nights.
2. Church choir/worship group.
3. Group music lessons (guitar, voice, whatever might interest you).
4. Community choir.

In and of themselves, none of these will find you playing partners. However, it can be a way to get to know other musicians and see if there are any you might want to explore possibilities. Plus, these can all be good musical learning opportunities.