Living A Better Life

[sluggo]

Hello all, Since this is a songwriting forum as well I thought this would be an appropiate post to start with. I chose the demo because it puts the song in the best light. I demo at home on an Adat and mix through a Mackie 1604 VLZ. Pretty low tech.

A friend is doing all electric guitars and I used a better singer than myself as well. I play acoustic, bass, and did the drum programming (what little there is)

All criticism welcome. Especially the ones that tell me where the song falls short. Seriously...very little ego here. I'm interested in how the song works or not.

Thanks for the listen!!


http://soundclick.com/jerrydean

[Bern]

Great catchy song, I like it a lot. Also, nice arrangement and guitar work by your friend. BTW, the vocalist has just the right voice for this song. Just one minor comment, IMO, the vocals at some of the low ending phrases seem kind of weak. I don't know if your singer was struggling with the key and therefore with the low endings, or, if it was intended to sound this way. It's just something I picked up on.

[sluggo]

Thankf for the listen Bern! You picked up on a mistake I used to make a lot. I would cut the tracks to the song in the key I wrote and sang it in, and then find a demo singer. Often it's wasn't the best key for the singer. and didn''t take advantage of their range. Making them sing below themselves if you will. Good ear man!!

These days, whenever I can,, I get the singer in earlier to make the correct key selection.

[Guyute]

Not bad...I was sure it was going to sound like a Byrds song until the vocals started! I agree with Bern about the key, but that's an easy fix.

Godd work!

[bobc]

That is a beatifull song. Did you write that?

The vocalist has an extremely good voice, but i think he could have brought more feeling to the song if he where given more time with it. I don't mean this in any way negative either. His voice is far better than anything i could ever dream of doing, but there where some parts that sounded like they where just being filled in, and if he had more time to really sink into the song, he could really make it a truely great song.

The voacals, instruments, and recording quality are all top notch.

It is very catchy song, and i think it has the potential to be a great song.

[sluggo]

Thanks guys, yes I wrote I that. It was inspired by a life change from being a touring (bar) musician to a homebody. Our little girls name is Aaralyn Eve.

It's been pitched and largely ignored. lol The feedback I've gotten from publishers is that the chorus has a needless extension with the last line "Outside my door....." I've been encouraged to put in a bridge.. and been told to drop it and move on. But, as it is, it has a place in our home. And since Keith Urban had such a big hit with his song "Better Life" (I wrote mine first ) I"ve decided to shelve it for now. Plus I like the guitars in it so much I knda hate to do the re-write. That's something else I've learned...You can demo to soon!!

Guyute, I've allways thought this take has a Byrds ring to it also. That was my friends touch all the way. He did that with the doubled parts and the sound of his Strat I guess. He has it wired to combine any of the pick ups and it kinda sounds like a Rickenbacker.

Bob, I agree that while the singer has a solid voice the performance is lacking. That's really something I need to concentrate on. The producers cap, if you will, is a new venture for me and I need to be a bit more discerning. Before, I was allways so excited to hear somebody else (better) sing my songs that I didn't really underestand the oppurtunity and responsibility to search and push for the best performance. And yes, give the singer ample time to really own the song. I'm learning.

[fenderjg]

wow....that is excellent....

i wish i could write that.....

later

kevin

( hi guys im back after a long period of no internet...!)