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  #16  
Old 02-18-2020, 04:36 PM
Dirk Hofman Dirk Hofman is offline
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Originally Posted by AmericanEagle View Post
A good friend of mine gave me the same advice.
I think the question is just as much about the other person as it is about you. Are you in a place to give the other person what they need, or are you kind of wrapped up in your own issues right now? If the latter, and given the recency of your split I'd be impressed if you were clear of it, I would stay away from dating for a while. At least until you're in a place to be what the other person needs you to be.

When you're ready...I used to do the dating site thing quite a bit when I was single. I thought it was great at the time, but this was almost 20 years ago. Got a ton of dates, and met some really cool people. Nothing lasted terribly long, but that's OK. Some odd online interactions. Some people mildly mis-representing themselves, but that's par for the course. Happened to meet my wife in real life after a couple years of being on the sites. Anyway, whatever they're charging it's cheaper than hanging out in bars or other social outings and a lot more efficient. I lived in a big urban area at the time, so maybe that mattered a lot. Tons of fish in that part of the sea. If you're rural, might be a totally different experience.

The meetup suggestion is a good one. Find something you're interested in, maybe something new, and hang out with good people doing it. That's how I started mountain biking and now I have a core group outside of meetup who ride together all the time, but we all started on a few mountain biking meetup groups.
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  #17  
Old 02-18-2020, 05:47 PM
AmericanEagle AmericanEagle is offline
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Originally Posted by Dirk Hofman View Post
I think the question is just as much about the other person as it is about you. Are you in a place to give the other person what they need, or are you kind of wrapped up in your own issues right now? If the latter, and given the recency of your split I'd be impressed if you were clear of it, I would stay away from dating for a while. At least until you're in a place to be what the other person needs you to be.
To be honest, I’m still kind of wrapped-up in my issues.
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  #18  
Old 02-18-2020, 05:55 PM
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To be honest, I’m still kind of wrapped-up in my issues.
And that's only natural after a relationship breakup. I'd reiterate my previous suggestion. You don't need dating advice - you'll benefit more from learning to appreciate yourself and others in a non-dating context...
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  #19  
Old 02-18-2020, 06:18 PM
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Mr. Jelly Mr. Jelly is offline
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Talk about dating sites online. I think all sites and everything written online should be dated. That is what you meant wasn't it? Was I suppose to read the post?
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Old 02-18-2020, 06:31 PM
Don Lampson Don Lampson is offline
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To be honest, I’m still kind of wrapped-up in my issues.
Prezactly! At the present, al least, you are loaded down with "baggage", emotional, and beyond.... Trying to attract a soul mate, who is in a better place than you are will be difficult... Beware! You may find yourself jumping from the frying pan - Right into the fire!

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  #21  
Old 02-18-2020, 11:59 PM
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Mr. Jelly Mr. Jelly is offline
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I knew a guy that took a gal home and she wouldn't leave. Her mom would bring booze and food so she didn't have to leave his house. She did that because she didn't want her at her house. Every time he pressed it she threatened to call the police and charge him with abuse. If she did that he would be kicked out of his own house with an automatic restraining order. Real story.
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  #22  
Old 02-19-2020, 05:44 AM
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Originally Posted by Mr. Jelly View Post
I knew a guy that took a gal home and she wouldn't leave. Her mom would bring booze and food so she didn't have to leave his house. She did that because she didn't want her at her house. Every time he pressed it she threatened to call the police and charge him with abuse. If she did that he would be kicked out of his own house with an automatic restraining order. Real story.
Clearly there are worse things than being lonely....
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