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  #31  
Old 09-18-2023, 07:07 PM
Silly Moustache Silly Moustache is offline
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I mostly lost my anxiety-depression issues when I retired.

I was "concerned" when I went through the throat/tongue cancer business, but is was really just a matter of the constant pain and learning to stop swallowing.

Getting back into the gym - OK just lifting feathers and trying to regain some muscle mass worked until covid of course.

Covid, I quite enjoyed. Went for long walks with Nanny-Jane - enjoyed the empty city streets, and growing our veg in blessed isolation.

Stopped drawing my pension because we spent so much less. I enjoy not paying income tax watching the UK fall apart.

I'm VERY concerned about the mess my country is in socio-economically, why are my predictions always right?

Now just worrying about the effect on the war and other things should the US make the same mistake again.

The cat is gonna need dental work next week.
So am I but I can't get it!
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  #32  
Old 09-18-2023, 07:29 PM
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No longer working for a living or "herding kittens" (playing in a casual bar band full of diverse personalities), a great deal of the stress I used to endure has drifted away on the breeze. But I can still find ways to get puckered up about sick/dying friends and family, contentious people, current events, shrieking animals nearby, etc., etc.

Mindfulness meditation only creates a vacuum into which those things gather and swarm my brain like mosquitoes. So, not much help in my busy noggin.

But there are things I can do to divert the stream of noise around me and live in the moment:
- Exercise (bicycling, kayaking, racquetball and pickleball)
- RC flying
- Guitar playing alone
- Prepping tunes and charts, and practicing with my acoustic duo buddy

Last edited by tinnitus; 09-18-2023 at 08:03 PM.
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  #33  
Old 09-18-2023, 07:44 PM
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I learned at a young aged only worry about things you have control over.

So I don't have any stress, I deal with things as they present themselves.

You will live a much longer and a more happier life if you can adopt this philosophy.

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  #34  
Old 09-19-2023, 05:22 AM
buddyhu buddyhu is offline
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Originally Posted by Rolph View Post
The person who says they have no stress misunderstands the word. Scientifically speaking, stressors are everywhere and constant. A positive stressor for example, you experience hunger, you feed yourself, stress relieved. America has never experienced these levels of stress, probably the world too.

For me personally, I think the over-utilization and addiction to cell phones represents one of the biggest forms of ongoing stress. Turn the thing off for awhile!
What you have shared matches what I have been taught: stress is the body’s response to change. But in this thread, I was using the term in a way that conforms to the popular vernacular: to feel stressed is to feel at least some emotional distress, and to attribute this feeling to encountering an excessive amount of change, with some of those changes having an undesirable effect on the person’s life.

You definitely make an important point: just because one doesn’t feel some emotionally distress doesn’t mean that they aren’t experiencing stress, nor does it mean that the stress isn’t affecting the body.

Most people who have stress-related illnesses are surprised when they start to recognize that they have encountered stressors that have disrupted the body’s health. They may have thought that the absence of worry or of noteworthy emotional distress has meant that they haven’t been stressed. They may cite their ability to keep functioning as an indication that they have been dealing with stress well. Not always so…
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  #35  
Old 09-20-2023, 08:55 AM
Glennwillow Glennwillow is offline
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I don't feel particularly stressed at this stage of my life, but I have been retired now for the last 7 years. For whatever reason, I have always been able to cope with whatever stresses I was confronted with. Making music helps.

- Glenn
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  #36  
Old 09-20-2023, 11:07 AM
imwjl imwjl is offline
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Originally Posted by Rolph View Post
The person who says they have no stress misunderstands the word. Scientifically speaking, stressors are everywhere and constant. A positive stressor for example, you experience hunger, you feed yourself, stress relieved. America has never experienced these levels of stress, probably the world too.

For me personally, I think the over-utilization and addiction to cell phones represents one of the biggest forms of ongoing stress. Turn the thing off for awhile!
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Originally Posted by buddyhu View Post
What you have shared matches what I have been taught: stress is the bodyís response to change. But in this thread, I was using the term in a way that conforms to the popular vernacular: to feel stressed is to feel at least some emotional distress, and to attribute this feeling to encountering an excessive amount of change, with some of those changes having an undesirable effect on the personís life.

You definitely make an important point: just because one doesnít feel some emotionally distress doesnít mean that they arenít experiencing stress, nor does it mean that the stress isnít affecting the body.

Most people who have stress-related illnesses are surprised when they start to recognize that they have encountered stressors that have disrupted the bodyís health. They may have thought that the absence of worry or of noteworthy emotional distress has meant that they havenít been stressed. They may cite their ability to keep functioning as an indication that they have been dealing with stress well. Not always soÖ
It's fighting an impossible beast or tilting windmills to think we are going to change how screens are so everywhere. People who can't escape them can and do live well balanced and healthy lives. For that can't escape part, it struck me where I manage technology when mobile devices we manage exceeded personal computers deployed. It's near 2:1 now.

Fitness (physical and mental), education or coaching and diet are probably better aims. Where and how we live needs to be considered because sitting and driving are unhealthy.

Historical photos struck me. A fun to me page on 1950s - 70s trucking didn't show all the obesity. Same for photos in the industry and 100+ year old firm where I'm at.

Where or why I think this well being and weight are so important comes from a long time volunteering in rec, sports, teaching them and some coaching. Many who've joined the sports club and outdoor sports with some mental illness, loss and other issues have had weight struggles too. The activity seems to help both.

It has repeated when some people who've joined the rides and guiding I volunteer to do say the physical activity with a social aspect have helped them be off medication and do better. I know that personally.

More than get rid of your screen, it seems like many who have problems should have those screens guide them to healthy activities and groups plus healthy eating.
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  #37  
Old 09-21-2023, 07:59 AM
LiveMusic LiveMusic is offline
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I consider myself at the highest stress level on my lifetime, which is sad in that I'll be 70 in two months, which has to be old man age, lol. I don't have kids, a terrible void. Broke up with my last sweet thang a year ago. All I have is nieces and nephews and two brothers. The nieces and nephews don't include me in anything but Thanksgiving and Christmas.

The biggest stressor is feeling alienated from just about everyone I know due to politics. I never ever bring up politics. My friends sure do. It has been a lot of questioning who am I, really. I feel like an outsider anymore. No, I am an outsider. All of this is pretty jarring in that I have always been a gregarious person.

As for how to deal with it, I haven't yet figured out a solution. A friend of mine is 76, wonderful guy. Surprised me recently when he said he was going to go to a counselor. To find out why he is so angry. I do know that he feels alienation like I do but his answer surprised me because this guy is one helluva hoot, about as likeable a person as you'll ever meet and I didn't realize that he is so angry. At what, he is not sure. But I know part of it is politics because of the things he shares with me.

I have not hired a shrink but I've thought about it, lol. I did get a song out of that, though. I write. At times, a lot. Had one heckuva spree early this year, wrote dozens of songs. They say it's like therapy. Maybe so. It must be, because I have written hundreds over the past 20 years.

Enough of all that, carry on!
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  #38  
Old 09-21-2023, 08:13 AM
imwjl imwjl is offline
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Originally Posted by LiveMusic View Post
I consider myself at the highest stress level on my lifetime, which is sad in that I'll be 70 in two months, which has to be old man age, lol. I don't have kids, a terrible void. Broke up with my last sweet thang a year ago. All I have is nieces and nephews and two brothers. The nieces and nephews don't include me in anything but Thanksgiving and Christmas.

The biggest stressor is feeling alienated from just about everyone I know due to politics. I never ever bring up politics. My friends sure do. It has been a lot of questioning who am I, really. I feel like an outsider anymore. No, I am an outsider. All of this is pretty jarring in that I have always been a gregarious person.

As for how to deal with it, I haven't yet figured out a solution. A friend of mine is 76, wonderful guy. Surprised me recently when he said he was going to go to a counselor. To find out why he is so angry. I do know that he feels alienation like I do but his answer surprised me because this guy is one helluva hoot, about as likeable a person as you'll ever meet and I didn't realize that he is so angry. At what, he is not sure. But I know part of it is politics because of the things he shares with me.

I have not hired a shrink but I've thought about it, lol. I did get a song out of that, though. I write. At times, a lot. Had one heckuva spree early this year, wrote dozens of songs. They say it's like therapy. Maybe so. It must be, because I have written hundreds over the past 20 years.

Enough of all that, carry on!
More help could indeed be needed but I'll do another sell for volunteering. It for sure addresses not being lonely. Jerks don't generally give their time away in a selfless manner.

For the 3 groups or orgs where I volunteer I find pretty much everyone enough adult or mature where differences in political views don't matter. Everyone has doing something decent in common.

It also seems like the two of the volunteering areas I'm in are sort of natural medicine. One is teaching kids and the other public lands volunteering and stewardship both promote or mandate physical activity that is to me a natural drug.

Good luck!
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  #39  
Old 09-21-2023, 08:53 AM
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There seems to be two sides to these discussions. The happy, happy, happy success no matter what and the opening up to bad so sad.

The human condition has never changed.
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  #40  
Old 09-21-2023, 09:06 AM
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There seems to be two sides to these discussions. The happy, happy, happy success no matter what and the opening up to bad so sad.

The human condition has never changed.
Happiness and controlling our stress are things we have to make and understand plus areas where we need to feel comfy getting help when on our own isn't working.
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  #41  
Old 09-21-2023, 10:27 AM
AmericanEagle AmericanEagle is offline
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I always worry about money.
I never seem to have enough,
and I donít live a lavish lifestyle.
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  #42  
Old 09-21-2023, 11:07 AM
AX17609 AX17609 is offline
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Originally Posted by LiveMusic View Post
I consider myself at the highest stress level on my lifetime, which is sad in that I'll be 70 in two months, which has to be old man age, lol. I don't have kids, a terrible void. Broke up with my last sweet thang a year ago. All I have is nieces and nephews and two brothers. The nieces and nephews don't include me in anything but Thanksgiving and Christmas.

The biggest stressor is feeling alienated from just about everyone I know due to politics. I never ever bring up politics. My friends sure do. It has been a lot of questioning who am I, really. I feel like an outsider anymore. No, I am an outsider. All of this is pretty jarring in that I have always been a gregarious person.
You and I have very similar circumstances, yet you are highly stressed and I'm not. What's the difference?

The difference is that I realized that for all intents and purposes, I'm invisible. Nobody cares what I think or what I do. Once I accepted that, it was tremendously liberating. I got away from all the political negativity by stopping the activities that required me to deal with the anger crowd. I rarely post here, because I don't want to deal with all the negative replies from people who just like to argue. That was liberating, too.

I'm free to do whatever I want. Besides the basic custodial issues of life, I study guitar most of the day. Learning is free, and the concentration required is seductive. I also watch some sports on television. That's it. I don't fight crowds; I don't go to restaurants or concerts. I shop when the store is nearly empty. I swim for exercise and go when I have a lane to myself. I drive so little that the price of gas is a non issue.

All I had to do to reach this state of calm was to accept that I don't matter.

Now I'm going to take a nap.

Last edited by AX17609; 09-21-2023 at 11:12 AM.
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  #43  
Old 09-21-2023, 11:49 AM
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I thought I was basically stress free, but the other day I had a doctors appt that was put off a few times due to work deadlines and when I finally took off from work for the appt my boss called to remind me that I have a lot of work to get out. I cancelled my appt, went into work and verbally unloaded on my boss about the work situation (I'm supposed to be part time). In 34+ I have never even so much as raised my voice at work. Needless to say it got his attention.

And I feel much better
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  #44  
Old 09-22-2023, 06:10 AM
RedJoker RedJoker is offline
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I'm still about 15 years from retirement and I'm very stressed. It's the combination of too much to do, not enough time, not enough money, not being able to do what I want, uncertainty of the future... You know, all the same stressors everyone is facing.

I find that running and music helps but I don't have much time to do that anymore, too many other commitments. We have an animal sanctuary so those commitments are important to me.

Though I'm new to it, I find that meditation is useful but only during waking hours. When I have monkey brain in the middle of the night, all that meditation discipline goes out the window. I know my thoughts and worries are irrational at that time of night, even when I'm in them, but it's still a struggle to break out of that immediate cycle.

oh well, off to work to fight the dragons off for another day...
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  #45  
Old 09-22-2023, 06:39 AM
ruger9 ruger9 is offline
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The pandemic was BAD for me (lockdown/not working/home all the time)... but that is an outlier, like many things on the OP's list.

I have learned to NOT stress about "world issues"... I concern myself with only my "village"... my family, my friends. They are the only things WORTH stress. (I do pay attention to the other stuff, it just no longer causes me stress). Taoism has been a big help for me in that area (as well as Christianity... a Taoist Christian LOL)

Anyway, there are things in life WORTH stress... most especially the health of my family. When things like that happen, everything else pales in comparison and you gain great perspective on what is TRULY important.
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