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  #151  
Old 06-30-2018, 04:14 PM
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For your consideration!

Mark
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  #152  
Old 06-30-2018, 07:52 PM
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What do you call the cool guy with no talent that hangs out with musicians? The drummer.
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  #153  
Old 07-01-2018, 02:28 PM
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What do you call a drummer who keeps repeating the same joke?

A concussionist.
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  #154  
Old 07-11-2018, 06:54 PM
kkrell kkrell is offline
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It's hard to check for pre-existing versions on this thread.

What's the difference between a rock musician and jazz musician?

Answer: A rock musician plays three chords to a thousand people; the jazz musician plays a thousand chords to three people.
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  #155  
Old 07-12-2018, 02:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kkrell View Post
It's hard to check for pre-existing versions on this thread.

What's the difference between a rock musician and jazz musician?

Answer: A rock musician plays three chords to a thousand people; the jazz musician plays a thousand chords to three people.
At least the rock musician gets them in the right order.
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  #156  
Old 07-12-2018, 10:29 AM
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When you're playing a long series of diminished chords, there IS no "right order," except maybe one that says, "Just stop!"

cotten
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  #157  
Old 07-12-2018, 08:44 PM
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What's the difference between a banjo and a harmonica?
A harmonica only sucks half the time.

A guitar player and banjo player are both on death row and co-incidentally are assigned the same execution date. The warden comes to the banjo player's cell and asks if he has a last request. The banjo player says "do you think you find find a banjo so I could play Foggy Mountain Breakdown one more time? The warden assures him they'll do that for him. Then the warden goes to the cell next door and asks the guitar player if he has a last request. The guitar player says "Yeah, shoot me first!"

What do you call a Bluegrass song without death, devastation or destruction?
An instrumental.
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  #158  
Old 07-13-2018, 07:47 AM
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Best Guitarist or Musician Jokes? Well, calling me the Best Guitarist or Musician would be a joke...

cotten
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  #159  
Old 07-13-2018, 04:54 PM
Ozzy the dog Ozzy the dog is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cotten View Post
Best Guitarist or Musician Jokes? Well, calling me the Best Guitarist or Musician would be a joke...

cotten
You can't be considered a joke when you've played in the Albert Hall........

...... Or did you play with a bloke called Albert Hall? .....and was he full of holes?
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  #160  
Old 07-14-2018, 11:34 PM
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Sorry, I must have missed meeting Albert, holes or not.
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  #161  
Old 07-28-2018, 10:35 AM
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Hereís a new one:



Mark
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  #162  
Old 02-11-2019, 06:00 PM
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Itís one louder....


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  #163  
Old 02-14-2019, 01:40 PM
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What did the Dead-Head say when he ran out of weed ?
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This music sucks.


No offense intended as I like GD music, but it's still funny to me !!!
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  #164  
Old 02-14-2019, 02:34 PM
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Q - What's the difference between a puppy and a singer/songwriter?
A - The puppy eventually quits whining.

Q - How many folkies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A - 6, One to put in the new bulb and 5 to complain about it being electric.

A man holding a large bag tries to enter an Irish pub, but is stopped by the Publican, who says, "Stop right there mate and tell me what you have in that bag."
The man tells him it's 40 pounds of plastic explosives.
The publican says, "All right, go on in. I thought it might have been a bodhran."

Two record executives enter a studio where a 60 piece orchestra is recording a take. One says to the other, "Man, I bet that put two or three synth players outa work."

Q - How do you make a violin sound like a viola?
A - Stand in the back and don't play very well.

Here's an old one, but I don't think I've seen it here yet.

Q - If you drop a banjo and a set of bagpipes from an airplane travelling at 20,000 metres, which one hits the ground first?
A - Who cares?

I recall a cartoon in the Banjo Newsletter showing an obviously tipsy man with a party hat and a martini in his hand at the door. A guy with a banjo around his neck has just answered the door and the tipsy caller says, "Do you mind? We're trying to have a party downstairs."
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  #165  
Old 02-21-2019, 12:17 PM
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All great, Jim. I HAD heard the one about the airplane and 20,000 feet, but a good joke never gets old.

The first one is great, although it does strike a little too close too home. Hah!

Thanks, Jim!
Scott
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