Original acoustic instrumental plz Listen

mitchellhopkins · #1 09-01-2009, 10:57 PM

This is a song I wrote for a girl 2,000 miles away. I'm only sixteen and this is one of my favorite things i have ever written.

http://www.lowellrocks.com/artist/mitchell-hopkins

Bern · #2 09-02-2009, 02:55 AM

Cool...I hope she is thinking of as well. Keep it up !

Michael Watts · #3 09-02-2009, 05:26 AM

Well, we're not here to judge your playing but you asked for feedback so...

You have a nice touch that comes across well in the parts of the song that you're most confident with but gets lost in others. You may find practising this with a metronome and recording it with a click track will give you a better performance. You did tend to speed up in the louder parts (this btw is completely natural and it takes a lot of experience and control to be rock steady when the red light is on).

As for the piece itself, well, it is still just a jumble of different ideas at the moment. A very wise man once told me something I'll pass on to you.

"It's not just the parts themselves, the art is in joining them together"

If you can develop these ideas into a cohesive whole then that's great.

Writing songs for the someone you care about can often be a very good way of getting your feelings across. And you obviously care for this person, enough to dedicate music to them which is cool. But I'm not sure that those feelings have come through in what I just heard. There are some great instrumental love songs and some fairly grim ones. To avoid sounding cliched you have to extract the universal from the personal.

Sit down and think about what this person means to you. Do this a lot. Eventually a melody will come. Pick up your guitar and play that melody, harmonise as necessary, decide the atmosphere, pulse and soul of the music. LISTEN to what you're playing (this is not easy). If you're being honest then the music will show it.

That's the theory. The practical reality is that only YOU can write this piece of music. Nobody else.

So do it.

tadmania · #4 09-02-2009, 05:28 AM

Very nice!

rhancox · #5 09-02-2009, 05:51 AM

Very good. Definitely creative.

Slight critique: the timing was off in a couple of parts. The guitar work is great but as I was tapping my fingers getting into it, I found myself off beat. I listened to it again and I noticed it in a couple of places. Tighten that up and you've got yourself a masterpiece.

tenniso · #6 09-02-2009, 08:01 AM

i like it so far, but i would like to hear other instruments or at least another guitar playing some single note stuff on top of the rythm. the good news is that you have the talent to write(something i am not good at). now you just have to hone your talent and learn how to get your point across effectively without wearing out your listeners.

i say this because i have alway liked songs that leave you wanting more instead of wearing out the hook or chorus or whatever the best part of the song happens to be.

you are on the right track, just be patient and dont settle for less than exactly what you want the song to be.

mitchellhopkins · #7 09-02-2009, 12:03 PM

Awesome! Thanks you guys for the feedback. It means alot that you would listen to my song and share your thoughts.

shawlie · #8 09-02-2009, 12:06 PM

I agree, very nice song with some great parts and some very nice playing. In particular, the two fingerstyle sections had some really fine stuff in them.

I really love the rhythm of that second part when it comes in. The little runs are maybe a little off, timing wise, which is a little bit of a shame cause it's such a nice part. The first run seems right each time and has a nice little rhythm to it. I'd maybe take a look at them and see why some seem to flow very nicely and some take a little more time.

But again, I enjoyed listening to it a lot -wish I could have made up something like that when I was 16 (or 37 for that matter..!).

rhancox · #9 09-02-2009, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shawlie

I agree, very nice song with some great parts and some very nice playing. In particular, the two fingerstyle sections had some really fine stuff in them.

I really love the rhythm of that second part when it comes in. The little runs are maybe a little off, timing wise, which is a little bit of a shame cause it's such a nice part. The first run seems right each time and has a nice little rhythm to it. I'd maybe take a look at them and see why some seem to flow very nicely and some take a little more time.

But again, I enjoyed listening to it a lot -wish I could have made up something like that when I was 16 (or 37 for that matter..!).

My feelings, exactly.