Apology

Mandobart · #1 01-21-2022, 02:01 PM

Not long ago I replied to one of our multi-page threads. Another member replied to my post, and later thought they may have offended me (their reply did not offend me). They wrote me a private message about it, apologizing and assuring me they meant no offense. I thanked them and assured them I had taken no offense. We had a pleasant, friendly exchange.

This got me thinking that after 6 years and over 3000 posts I've surely offended some of my fellow AGF members, but have not been perceptive enough to realize it. I sincerely apologize for that.

I've never intended to offend, marginalize, embarass or heckle anyone here. I've never wanted to hurt anyone's feelings or make them feel unwelcome.

To the extent that any of my posts have been misinterpreted, the fault is mine for not making enough of an effort to communicate clearly.

I know we have different backgrounds and experiences, come from different parts of the world and don't have the luxury of using facial expression, vocal inflection or body language to use like we would face to face, so that can add to misunderstanding. I need to continue to remember that.

Thanks everyone, I value each of you (members and guests) for contributing to this place.

offkey · #2 01-21-2022, 02:11 PM

Apology accepted. Of course you have never given me reason to be offended, I always enjoy your posts. With the internet it is hard to speak as clearly as we think we actually do. No facial expressions, no inflections etc. Or as in my case poor grammar and maybe poor spelling, lol. I enjoy this forum and your participation in it.

Silly Moustache · #3 01-21-2022, 02:21 PM

There are parallels in the communications between differing nationalities as well.

I have also observed this in my face to face Zoom meetings in which I might make a joke or jovial comment and learned that my American clients will not respond until I smile seemingly giving them "permission" to respond to the joke.

It works the other way too. I remember being in a friend's house in Texas on a very hot and humid autumn (fall) night and really feeling the need for a second beer.
Our gracious host was not refilling anyone's glasses, as would be obligatory in the UK, and so I asked "Would you mind if I had/ helped myself to - another beer?"
He looked at me querulously and said "why would I mind?"

I nervously went to his fridge to avail myself of said beverage.

In the UK one would never take drink from your host's fridge. (at least, not without expecting an extremely sarcastic comment).

Different strokes.

hairpuller · #4 01-21-2022, 02:32 PM

The Walker boys are known for inserting foot in mouth, so surely I've done it more than a few time on here. I do kid a lot (ask my students) and sometimes my jokes are either misunderstood or delivered with little subtlety.

Sorry if any of y'all have gotten a feeling or two hurt. No offense intended.

Happy Friday!
scott

Cypress Knee · #5 01-21-2022, 03:04 PM

If you listen to my wife describe my recollection of a day's events you would think that I was close blood relative to Jim Bridger and Mark Twain when nothing could be further from the truth.

Now about that time a dozen Pawnee warriors corned me in a box canyon with a hungry grizzly bear in the cave behind me and me out of ammo.....well, thank you Jim Bowie.

kakashi · #6 01-21-2022, 03:08 PM

hi! im new here at the forums but heres a good quote from tommy emmanuel.

"The thing about guitar players is we're all like a brotherhood or sisterhood. We don't care if you're great, good, bad, in between or whatever. As long as you love it, then we're all going to help each other."

619TF · #7 01-21-2022, 03:13 PM

No matter what you say or what you do these days SOMEONE will be offended. In fact there's probably someone out there right now who is offended you didn't single them out for the apology. Living in a huge Northeastern City growing up we learned to not get offended by anything someone did but to react only when physically confronted. I only wish that sensibility was retained in society at large. Part of natural discourse is letting people know how you feel and what you think about things. You never really know what's going on inside someone's head and I find that to be a true hidden danger. Yes, even more than hearing some of the crazy stuff some people are thinking/believing.

czgunner · #8 01-21-2022, 04:01 PM

This is the stuff that makes forums a nice place to be a part of.

Dru Edwards · #9 01-21-2022, 04:10 PM

Something that gets lost with written communication, especially with emails and on forums, are the non-verbal communication queues (i.e. body language). Very easy to misinterpret a response.

Gasworker · #10 01-21-2022, 10:42 PM

Best forum insult ever directed at me was from 00-28 “ "Wish I had more time to hear your reasons, but I have to go get a beer." I liked it so much I’ve kept it in my signature line for years but I wish I knew why he/she said it.

steelvibe · #11 01-22-2022, 01:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 619TF

you never really know what's going on inside someone's head and I find that to be a true hidden danger. Yes, even more than hearing some of the crazy stuff some people are thinking/believing.

This is really well stated. It formulates into words what I’ve been concerned about over the last several years.

Silurian · #12 01-22-2022, 03:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 619TF

No matter what you say or what you do these days SOMEONE will be offended. In fact there's probably someone out there right now who is offended you didn't single them out for the apology. Living in a huge Northeastern City growing up we learned to not get offended by anything someone did but to react only when physically confronted. I only wish that sensibility was retained in society at large. Part of natural discourse is letting people know how you feel and what you think about things. you never really know what's going on inside someone's head and I find that to be a true hidden danger. Yes, even more than hearing some of the crazy stuff some people are thinking/believing.

I believe the OP is talking about how something is said. The nuances of language, etc that can be misinterpreted.

You are talking about what is said. Which is a completely different conversation and is of course prohibited on the AGF to ensure social harmony on the forum.

Mandobart · #13 01-22-2022, 07:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Silurian

I believe the OP is talking about how something is said. The nuances of language, etc that can be misinterpreted.

You are talking about what is said. Which is a completely different conversation and is of course prohibited on the AGF to ensure social harmony on the forum.

Yes that is what I meant. But I know another facet of our conversations here is never knowing where they may lead, which is ok with me.

Golffishny · #14 01-22-2022, 08:25 AM

I think a key to these discussions is to remember, It's ok to disagree with an opinion but not necessary to devalue the opinion or the person expressing it. Acknowledging a difference adds to the discussion. YMMV

619TF · #15 01-22-2022, 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Silurian

I believe the OP is talking about how something is said. The nuances of language, etc that can be misinterpreted.

You are talking about what is said. Which is a completely different conversation and is of course prohibited on the AGF to ensure social harmony on the forum.

Whether "how" its said (most often that's simply in the ear of the beholder) or "what" is said, it is the listener who always has a choice. Take offense or not. Again, my childhood exposure to what I like to call "real talk from real people" made me realize these are only words and I couldn't care less until it comes to actions. Sorry if that offends anyone.