Fear of Failure

[AndrewG]

I recognise fear of failure very well. I was never a great academic and was repeatedly told to check out so-and-so at school; 'look how well he's doing', and 'you'll never amount to anything', 'you have no ambition', etc. All that negative reinforcement didn't spur me on as intended, but had the exact opposite effect. Psychologically I was already primed to fail and did so in spectacular fashion, at first.
The one thing that I was any good at, playing guitar, was sneered at by the parental authorities but, as it turned out, my musical achievements, modest though they were, had a sort of knock-on effect and I did ok in later life.
Nowadays the only 'success' which concerns me is whatever is personally meaningful, and not what is expected of me by others.
Right now I'm doing my best to learn 'Genesis' by Jorma Kaukonen. Not being a fingerstylist I'm finding it a struggle but, being a particularly meaningful tune it won't beat me!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SU1YASW3rhc

[ewalling]

Originally Posted by Glennwillow

Hi Ewalling,

Yes, writing an original short story is stepping off into the unknown! Good for you!

It's good to see you back on the AGF! I hope all is well!

- Glenn

Hi Glenn. Everything's fine, thanks. Hope all's well with you, too!

[Glennwillow]

Originally Posted by Ray175

Thanks Glenn ! The cancer has taken away half my jaw (part of fibula now grafted in to replace it) so acting and singing have had to go out of the window - I've chosen to concentrate on playing and learning instrument maintenance which gives me the centre focus that we all need. Next learning project is an upright electric bass that Warwick are currently building for me in Germany. Carpe diem, and don't look back!

Hi Ray,

Carpe diem is right! You have my admiration! Make the best of every day Ray!

Thank you for your response!

- Glenn

[Glennwillow]

Originally Posted by AndrewG

I recognise fear of failure very well. I was never a great academic and was repeatedly told to check out so-and-so at school; 'look how well he's doing', and 'you'll never amount to anything', 'you have no ambition', etc. All that negative reinforcement didn't spur me on as intended, but had the exact opposite effect. Psychologically I was already primed to fail and did so in spectacular fashion, at first.
The one thing that I was any good at, playing guitar, was sneered at by the parental authorities but, as it turned out, my musical achievements, modest though they were, had a sort of knock-on effect and I did ok in later life.
Nowadays the only 'success' which concerns me is whatever is personally meaningful, and not what is expected of me by others.
Right now I'm doing my best to learn 'Genesis' by Jorma Kaukonen. Not being a fingerstylist I'm finding it a struggle but, being a particularly meaningful tune it won't beat me!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SU1YASW3rhc

Hi Andrew!

Good for you for going after what matters to you!

That It-won't-beat-me attitude is what makes all the difference in learning to play tough pieces of music. Wonderful attitude Andrew!

I remember Tommy Emmanuel talking about this attitude once in a workshop. He commented, "What makes us spend two months working on some piece of music?!" You could hear the passion in his voice as he sound, "I'm gonna learn that thing!"

Be well Andrew! And good luck on "Genisis"!

- Glenn

[Glennwillow]

Originally Posted by ewalling

Hi Glenn. Everything's fine, thanks. Hope all's well with you, too!

Wonderful! I am well, too!

- Glenn

[FrankHudson]

I've enjoyed Glenn's voice and playing on the pieces he's presented here over the years. I see a lot of care in getting good performances in those videos.

In Glenn's original post he talks about a common behavior people fall into when they intend to start a project: doing just about anything else rather that starting the project. Glenn surmises we might do that out of fear of failure.

I find myself often doing just that, even though I've managed to rationalize myself out of fear of failure.* But a second thing, the idea that "I'm not at my best today" is more the thought that keeps me from starting or continuing a project piece. Being at Glenn's level of proficiency doesn't immunize one from that thought!

That's a complicated thought to work with, even more so at my age and condition there are days when objectively that is so. This is harder to reason back at, and I give myself grudging forgiveness when I blow off a day. In the end I can look back at my life at concrete evidence and know I'm an artist -- maybe not a good one, but still one of those who follow another of my maxims about artists: "Creative people aren't folks who have creative ideas -- creative people are the ones who create things."

Knowing that, having established over years that I have done that, I believe I will get to to that project or step in a project.



*I came up with a maxim that have engraved in my memory: "All Artists Fail." This seems obviously true to me, and it's something I've written about more broadly elsewhere, but one way you can look at it is even if your work comes out to the level of your best day or best hope, that some will not care for it, most will ignore it, and that's true even for those who work is loved by millions.

In my case I know a certain level of failure is predictable. I'm an inconsistent musician (hardly worth the label musician) and as singer I'm often not proficient, even unpleasant for others to listen to. Well, I've got no one else to sing what I write, so I press on.

[Glennwillow]

Originally Posted by FrankHudson

I've enjoyed Glenn's voice and playing on the pieces he's presented here over the years. I see a lot of care in getting good performances in those videos.

In Glenn's original post he talks about a common behavior people fall into when they intend to start a project: doing just about anything else rather that starting the project. Glenn surmises we might do that out of fear of failure.

I find myself often doing just that, even though I've managed to rationalize myself out of fear of failure.* But a second thing, the idea that "I'm not at my best today" is more the thought that keeps me from starting or continuing a project piece. Being at Glenn's level of proficiency doesn't immunize one from that thought!

That's a complicated thought to work with, even more so at my age and condition there are days when objectively that is so. This is harder to reason back at, and I give myself grudging forgiveness when I blow off a day. In the end I can look back at my life at concrete evidence and know I'm an artist -- maybe not a good one, but still one of those who follow another of my maxims about artists: "Creative people aren't folks who have creative ideas -- creative people are the ones who create things."

Knowing that, having established over years that I have done that, I believe I will get to to that project or step in a project.



*I came up with a maxim that have engraved in my memory: "All Artists Fail." This seems obviously true to me, and it's something I've written about more broadly elsewhere, but one way you can look at it is even if your work comes out to the level of your best day or best hope, that some will not care for it, most will ignore it, and that's true even for those who work is loved by millions.

In my case I know a certain level of failure is predictable. I'm an inconsistent musician (hardly worth the label musician) and as singer I'm often not proficient, even unpleasant for others to listen to. Well, I've got no one else to sing what I write, so I press on.

Hi Frank,

Thanks for your thoughts and your efforts in your post. Also, thanks for the kind words of support!

I know very much what you mean about our not being at our best on certain days. Sometimes you just have to come back the next day and try again.

I live on the edge of a forest and in the spring we have massive amounts of tree pollen falling all over us. We also live across from a 40-acre pasture next to the river across the road. So through much of the summer the pollen from the grasses is very bad. My wife and have taken to running air filters around our house and in my studio so that we can get the pollen down indoors, but no matter what, it can really mess a person up, especially for singing. So some days just don't work out in front of the microphones.

Also, I am not physically playing the guitar as much as I would like to because I am spending so much time sitting at the computer doing technical things in support of guitar playing and doing performances or making tutorials. I have finally starting playing the guitar again before dinner to make myself play more and to entertain my wife, while assuring that I keep my calluses in better shape. I have had more trouble with sore fingers over the last 6 months than I have since I started playing at age 16. And so that can also affect how I play. Sometimes I just have to come back the next day and try again.

I agree, too, that it's important to recognize that all artists fail. Anyone trying to create something has to experiment with new ideas and some of those are good, some not so good. I remember hearing an inventor suggest in the past that only the very best inventors are right with their ideas about half of the time. Others have a much higher failure rate.

Ted Williams posted a batting average of 0.400 in 1941. He is arguably the best hitter to have played professional baseball, and yet he was not able to get a hit 6 times out of ten up to bat in 1941. But... pro-level baseball is hard! We accept that.

Well, creating good music or any other kind of art is also hard. Once we accept that, it becomes a lot easier to accept a few strikeouts.

- Glenn

[nightchef]

I hear what you’re talking about, though it doesn’t exactly manifest as “fear of failure” for me…more like a sense of pessimism and futility. Like, “there’s so much music out there already, mine isn’t going to be good enough to be worth anyone pulling their attention away from something else to listen to it, so why bother?”

The answer is that if there wasn’t a reason to bother, I wouldn’t be asking the question. The reason is that I want to do this. The process of creating new music is a source of joy for me. The value of the result? Whatevs. That’s somebody else’s problem.

Easier to say than to live by, of course.

[Shepsdad]

Originally Posted by nightchef

I hear what you’re talking about, though it doesn’t exactly manifest as “fear of failure” for me…more like a sense of pessimism and futility. Like, “there’s so much music out there already, mine isn’t going to be good enough to be worth anyone pulling their attention away from something else to listen to it, so why bother?”

The answer is that if there wasn’t a reason to bother, I wouldn’t be asking the question. The reason is that I want to do this. The process of creating new music is a source of joy for me. The value of the result? Whatevs. That’s somebody else’s problem.

Easier to say than to live by, of course.

I always go into recording with the assumption that nobody will ever listen to it. I might occasionally get a hundred or so views on YouTube, but I don’t really care. I’m not a young man anymore, and I know that someday I will be gone.

I know the time will come that my kids and grandkids will enjoy having my songs to listen to, no matter how crappy some of them sound. That’s my motivation for never giving it up.

[Glennwillow]

Originally Posted by nightchef

I hear what you’re talking about, though it doesn’t exactly manifest as “fear of failure” for me…more like a sense of pessimism and futility. Like, “there’s so much music out there already, mine isn’t going to be good enough to be worth anyone pulling their attention away from something else to listen to it, so why bother?”

The answer is that if there wasn’t a reason to bother, I wouldn’t be asking the question. The reason is that I want to do this. The process of creating new music is a source of joy for me. The value of the result? Whatevs. That’s somebody else’s problem.

Easier to say than to live by, of course.

Yes, I completely understand your sentiments. I feel much the same much of the time.

I guess we create because we want to express ourselves somehow even if it's just for ourselves. Sort of that tree falling in the forest thing.

In the world we live in we tend to get used to doing work and generally getting paid -- by the hour or by the results or by the risk. But music these days pretty much doesn't pay at all.

So I think there's a tendency to ask, why bother? We bother, I think, because we want to express ourselves, to make a connection with somebody, even if not many care, even if it's only for ourselves. Because you want to do it. That's good enough!

And by the way, I hope you are loving that new black Gretsch Electromatic guitar with the gold hardware! What a sweet looking guitar!

- Glenn

[Glennwillow]

Originally Posted by Shepsdad

I always go into recording with the assumption that nobody will ever listen to it. I might occasionally get a hundred or so views on YouTube, but I don’t really care. I’m not a young man anymore, and I know that someday I will be gone.

I know the time will come that my kids and grandkids will enjoy having my songs to listen to, no matter how crappy some of them sound. That’s my motivation for never giving it up.

And I think to leave a legacy behind for our children and grand children -- that's a plenty good reason, too. I certainly have considered that.

- Glenn

Hi Glenn,

I grew up the victim of a severely abusive mother and was generally bullied so for me it is not fear of failure but fear of rejection. At 49 I still do not feel I truly fit in anywhere and assume that if I stick my neck out there artistically I'll be rejected yet again. So while I do tackle new artistic challenges it is hard to get motivated to share what I have accomplished.

Luckily I have retained something of a sense of humor. It has helped me through a lot of tough times.

[Glennwillow]

Originally Posted by J-Doug

Hi Glenn,

I grew up the victim of a severely abusive mother and was generally bullied so for me it is not fear of failure but fear of rejection. At 49 I still do not feel I truly fit in anywhere and assume that if I stick my neck out there artistically I'll be rejected yet again. So while I do tackle new artistic challenges it hard to get motivated to share what I have accomplished.

Hi Doug,

I am really sorry to hear about your difficult history. Nobody should have to go through that, though if the truth be known, many, many people here on the AGF and elsewhere in life could tell a similar story of abuse and bullying. Hopefully now in your adult life, with your supportive wife and family, you are slowly getting over this long trauma.

But let me assure you, you are accepted here on the AGF. You are most certainly a big part of the AGF and if you weren't showing up here, people would start asking after you -- where is Doug? Is he doing okay?

Really! I am absolutely sure of this!

Also, you have contributed a great deal to the Show & Tell section of this forum. So you have been very prolific, which tells me you are made of some pretty stern stuff.

So please don't let this past get in the way of your today or your future. I know it's easy for me to say that... But my hope for you is that you will try to live in the present and know how much you are valued.

Take care Doug!

- Glenn

[nightchef]

Originally Posted by J-Doug

Hi Glenn,

I grew up the victim of a severely abusive mother and was generally bullied so for me it is not fear of failure but fear of rejection. At 49 I still do not feel I truly fit in anywhere and assume that if I stick my neck out there artistically I'll be rejected yet again. So while I do tackle new artistic challenges it is hard to get motivated to share what I have accomplished.

Luckily I have retained something of a sense of humor. It has helped me through a lot of tough times.

I hear you, dude. I had a better time at home, but I was bullied relentlessly by my peers from about age 8 to 12. I too came out of it with a deep reluctance to call attention to myself and risk rejection. And yes, being able to laugh at ourselves and the world is a crucial survival skill. Rock on!

[Glennwillow]

Originally Posted by nightchef

I hear you, dude. I had a better time at home, but I was bullied relentlessly by my peers from about age 8 to 12. I too came out of it with a deep reluctance to call attention to myself and risk rejection. And yes, being able to laugh at ourselves and the world is a crucial survival skill. Rock on!

Thanks for your thoughts and comments NC,

Much appreciated!

I'm sorry to hear about bullying in your history, too. We grew up with so much of that stuff. I know it has affected a lot of people.

- Glenn