pithy guitar sayings

[zuzu]

An old friend of mine and monster guitarist, now unfortunately passed, did a takeoff on an old Harley rhyme from back in the day, in reference to the Les Paul in particular; "Buy a Gibson, they're the best, play one song, tune the rest."

Now before you get your hackles up know that the dood was a hard core Tele guy, and could pull just about any sound you could wish for from his Tele and a loud tube amp, and could play with real finesse, but he was not really a finesse player. He loved the Tele because, in his words "it don't mind putting up a fight."...another of his little guitar one-liners.

I was just wondering if some of you might have heard some similar half-joking types of phrases or such from the guitar world. Beyond the usual banjo jokes, I mean.

[seaveez]

How about this for 12-strings ...

You spend half the time tuning your guitar and the other half playing out of tune.

;-)

[lowrider]

''Martin guitars don't handle beer bottle throwing as well as a Gibson guitar does''

Hank Williams

[SCVJ]

Don't know if he made this up on the spot, or if it's commonly used, but I heard Peter Rowan say "this guitar still thinks it's a tree"

Another, far less clever than the previous one: "I don't know what's wrong with this guitar, it was in tune when I bought it"

A comment I heard at a BG festival, regarding a drunk bass player from the jam session the night before: " He sounded like a pair of tennis shoes in a clothes dryer"

[llew]

Originally Posted by lowrider

''Martin guitars don't handle beer bottle throwing as well as a Gibson guitar does''

Hank Williams

^^^Seems I've heard that one before.^^^

[Gromitspapa]

Didn’t the bracing get thicker after that?

[BlueBowman]

"I don't trust a guitar without a belly." Norman Blake? (and paraphrased)

First heard this on the forum a few years ago, and I love it mainly because IME there's some truth to it.

[rmp]

Chet Atkins after being told his guitar sounds great, "how's it sound now" after he put on a nearby table.

[Alan Carruth]

12-stringitis presents with two symptoms;
1) one of the strings is out of tune, and you spend 45 minutes tuning the other strings to that one and,
2) one of the strings is out of tune, and you spend five minutes trying to tune it until the one next to it breaks.

[LFL Steve]

“The guitar is alright John, but you’ll never earn a living with it.”

John Lennon’s Aunt Mimi

[Monty Christo]

What is the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond?

Eventually, the savings bond will mature and start to earn money.

[mcduffnw]

Originally Posted by seaveez

How about this for 12-strings ...

You spend half the time tuning your guitar and the other half playing out of tune.

;-)

Or..."You tune your 12 string to the one string that is out of tune"

That has happened to me in real life more than once...sigh...


duff
Be A Player...Not A Polisher

[lowrider]

''Play a Gibson if you want to look good, Play a Martin if you want to sound good''

I don't know who gets credit for it.

[Charlie Bernstein]

xxxxxxxxxxx

[Charlie Bernstein]

"More than two chords is showing off." Woody Guthrie

"Five strings, three chords, one a******." Keith Richards

"He carries a tune like a concealed weapon." Walt Kelly

"Folksongs. Thought you said you were a musician." John Goodman in Inside Llewyn Davis

"We're not gonna play louder. You gotta listen louder." Bob Weir

"Sometimes I make a dollar,
sometimes someone shakes my hand.
There just ain't much much better
than playin' in the band." Leon Fullerton

"A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo and doesn't." Mark Twain