"Insulted" by a "professional musician."

[Brent Hahn]

Originally Posted by Beakybird

I've read that professional entertainers score low on empathy assessments. We're tooting our own horns so often.

Low on empathy? A friend of mine used to be tour manager for a huge US country star. One of his jobs was, at every stop on the tour, to round up a Cancer Kid for a backstage photo op. Bald with wheelchair, ideally. What could be more empathetic than that? :-)

[jklotz]

I know a couple of folks who have moved to Nashville to play professionally. They both told me, independently, that if you go around up there throwing around attitude, you'll be chewed up and spit out faster than the gristle from last nights steak. So unless you have a couple of hit records and are selling out arenas, friendliness to everybody is a mandatory job requirement. And for the most part, even the most successful guys are like that too.

I once took an online skype lesson from Brent Mason. He was nice, respectful and well prepared. That, in itself, was a bit of a lesson for me. If a guy that acclaimed would do that for a regular joe like me, then maybe I should follow that example and be like that to others?

I'm not a real talkative guy in person, but I force myself to go out and speak to folks in the audience between sets. I have let folks come up and play my tele's, talk about my rig or tell me about the uncle's SG that they inherited. Most times, I'd rather just go relax in the car and give my ears a rest for the 15 minutes break we usually get, but I make myself. To me, it's part of the job.

[MChild62]

Originally Posted by Methos1979

I'm a "professional working musician" and you come up to me after a show and dare to talk about guitar tone at your own peril! I will buy you a beer, sit with you and talk about acoustic guitars until they throw us out into the street at closing time!

And you’d have at least one devoted fan for life!
Years ago when I was young and lived in NY, I went to see the Mingus Big Band Workshop. A mix of jazz players met to play Mingus’s music in the Fez under the Time Cafe every Thursday night. I was stunned at the level of improvisation and just joy the musicians created. After the show, I timidly tip-toed up to the table of Sue Mingus, Charlie’s widow who organized the shows and told her what a great time I’d had. She was super gracious, thanked me, and off I went.
I came back the next week but arrived late and no place to sit. Sue spotted me and invited me over to her table. I was almost too nervous to accept. But joined her.
After that, I came back as many Thursdays as my paycheck would permit, often bringing friends. Sue always said hi, asked me over to sit with her entourage if I was alone, and sometimes let me suggest a favorite (always Ecclusiastics when tenor sax John Stubblefield was in attendance!)
I guess my point - since this thread has gone highly tangential - is just thanks to the many great musicians (and I count Sue!) for their humility and ability to create a sense of an inclusive community about them. It actually makes the connection to the music so much more personal and enjoyable, even if that connection is only the small effort of showing appreciation for their work. I’ve heard Dolly Parton is the same, despite being one of the greatest and most successful musicians in history. She’s all humility in front of her fans.

[stormin1155]

I have several nice guitars because I can afford them. I'll bet that professional musician would too if he could afford them.

[DukeX]

Originally Posted by Hack Guitarist

Tell Joe Bonamassa he only needs one guitar.

Yeah, or Steve Miller (had about 450 at one time)!

[Tadmcd]

(I loved Wishbone Ash…still do.)

So, this will probably be long:

For years I’ve gone to Block Island, RI and spent about six weeks there on my boat or on friends’ boats. There’s a little (see: tiny, fits maybe 30 folks) bar called Mahogany Shoals at a marina dock on the Great Salt Pond and this crotchety olde farte who played Irish tunes there for many years, pretending to be Irish himself (he was from New Jersey). Anyway, he was rude and off-putting and I couldn’t stand the guy; my friends thought he was the greatest thing since night baseball.

I wasn’t there on the particular evening described below, but my friends (and everyone else who was there) swear this is gospel truth:

The guy was playing his acoustic one evening and abusing his audience as they politely called out various requests, usually making fun of them for even asking. At some point, a young-ish (late 30s/early 40s) gal made her way out of doors and purchased one of the guy’s cassettes (yeah, back then) from the merch table and came back in to listen to the music.

She’d enjoyed a certain number of adult libations (see: many) and after some time she stood up with the cassette in her hand and shouted, “Walter, you stink, but I bought one of your tapes!” Walter (the performer) tried to ignore her.

A few minutes later, the woman stood up again and shouted to the room, “I just paid $15 for this tape. Will anyone give me $10?” She found no takers and sat back down.

A drink (or so) later, she again found her feet and hollered, “How about $5 for one of Walter’s tapes?” Again, crickets and she sat.

She ordered another drink, finished half of it, and leapt anew to her feet, “Does anyone want one of Walter’s tapes? I’ll give it you for nothing!” Walter stopped playing as everyone took advantage of the opportunity to study the current state of their shoes. Finding no takers the lady turned to Walter and said, “See, Walter?!? I can’t even GIVE one of your tapes away!”

Anyway, that’s all the news fit to print about that.

[foxo]

Originally Posted by Tadmcd

(I loved Wishbone Ash…still do.)

So, this will probably be long:

For years I’ve gone to Block Island, RI and spent about six weeks there on my boat or on friends’ boats. There’s a little (see: tiny, fits maybe 30 folks) bar called Mahogany Shoals at a marina dock on the Great Salt Pond and this crotchety olde farte who played Irish tunes there for many years, pretending to be Irish himself (he was from New Jersey). Anyway, he was rude and off-putting and I couldn’t stand the guy; my friends thought he was the greatest thing since night baseball.

I wasn’t there on the particular evening described below, but my friends (and everyone else who was there) swear this is gospel truth:

The guy was playing his acoustic one evening and abusing his audience as they politely called out various requests, usually making fun of them for even asking. At some point, a young-ish (late 30s/early 40s) gal made her way out of doors and purchased one of the guy’s cassettes (yeah, back then) from the merch table and came back in to listen to the music.

She’d enjoyed a certain number of adult libations (see: many) and after some time she stood up with the cassette in her hand and shouted, “Walter, you stink, but I bought one of your tapes!” Walter (the performer) tried to ignore her.

A few minutes later, the woman stood up again and shouted to the room, “I just paid $15 for this tape. Will anyone give me $10?” She found no takers and sat back down.

A drink (or so) later, she again found her feet and hollered, “How about $5 for one of Walter’s tapes?” Again, crickets and she sat.

She ordered another drink, finished half of it, and leapt anew to her feet, “Does anyone want one of Walter’s tapes? I’ll give it you for nothing!” Walter stopped playing as everyone took advantage of the opportunity to study the current state of their shoes. Finding no takers the lady turned to Walter and said, “See, Walter?!? I can’t even GIVE one of your tapes away!”

Anyway, that’s all the news fit to print about that.

Brilliant.

[reeve21]

Originally Posted by Tadmcd

(I loved Wishbone Ash…still do.)

So, this will probably be long:

For years I’ve gone to Block Island, RI and spent about six weeks there on my boat or on friends’ boats. There’s a little (see: tiny, fits maybe 30 folks) bar called Mahogany Shoals at a marina dock on the Great Salt Pond and this crotchety olde farte who played Irish tunes there for many years, pretending to be Irish himself (he was from New Jersey). Anyway, he was rude and off-putting and I couldn’t stand the guy; my friends thought he was the greatest thing since night baseball.

I wasn’t there on the particular evening described below, but my friends (and everyone else who was there) swear this is gospel truth:

The guy was playing his acoustic one evening and abusing his audience as they politely called out various requests, usually making fun of them for even asking. At some point, a young-ish (late 30s/early 40s) gal made her way out of doors and purchased one of the guy’s cassettes (yeah, back then) from the merch table and came back in to listen to the music.

She’d enjoyed a certain number of adult libations (see: many) and after some time she stood up with the cassette in her hand and shouted, “Walter, you stink, but I bought one of your tapes!” Walter (the performer) tried to ignore her.

A few minutes later, the woman stood up again and shouted to the room, “I just paid $15 for this tape. Will anyone give me $10?” She found no takers and sat back down.

A drink (or so) later, she again found her feet and hollered, “How about $5 for one of Walter’s tapes?” Again, crickets and she sat.

She ordered another drink, finished half of it, and leapt anew to her feet, “Does anyone want one of Walter’s tapes? I’ll give it you for nothing!” Walter stopped playing as everyone took advantage of the opportunity to study the current state of their shoes. Finding no takers the lady turned to Walter and said, “See, Walter?!? I can’t even GIVE one of your Tapes away!”

Anyway, that’s all the news fit to print about that.

Hi Tad,

Good story about Walter, who was definitely a love him or hate him kind of guy. I have no doubt it went down just like that. You probably know he was "asked" to retire a few years ago, and I hear he didn't take it well.

There is some pretty good music at the Shoals these days, one guy in particular on acoustic who has taken over Walter's residency and also plays piano quite well at Captain Nick's one night a week (Dave is his name). He even takes requests!

One of the other guys who plays there ("Izzy") wrote a song about the Shoals called "The Bar You've Been Practicing For" to go along with the T shirts.

Is it the 4th of July yet? Maybe I'll see you out there!

[Veeing Fly]

"That's very kind of you, thank. I really hope you enjoy the show!"

See, it's not so hard!

[DesertTwang]

Well, I'm not going to argue that this musician is a nice guy by any stretch, but his lack of social skills aside, what he alluded to does have a kernel of truth in it. Yes, it stings, and I include myself in those he targeted with his comment, but I'm kinda sorta with him, to a certain degree. In the sense that in my experience, there seems to be an inverse relationship between the more particular one gets about his guitars (and I think it's safe to use the male pronoun in this regard), the less likely one is to actually get out and play in public, and vice versa.

[llew]

Originally Posted by reeve21

Hi Tad,

Good story about Walter, who was definitely a love him or hate him kind of guy. I have no doubt it went down just like that. You probably know he was "asked" to retire a few years ago, and I hear he didn't take it well.

There is some pretty good music at the Shoals these days, one guy in particular on acoustic who has taken over Walter's residency and also plays piano quite well at Captain Nick's one night a week (Dave is his name). He even takes requests!

One of the other guys who plays there ("Izzy") wrote a song about the Shoals called "The Bar You've Been Practicing For" to go along with the T shirts.

Is it the 4th of July yet? Maybe I'll see you out there!

I was there once on a friends sailboat anchored out in the pond. Visited those two establishments and "The Oar House". Block Island is a great place...hope to go back one day. Somehow I don't remember Walter. Probably too many of what that woman trying to give away his cassette was having?

[Tadmcd]

First, sincere apologies for masking an obscenity. I plead ignorance to the rules (which I fully embrace); that's not a valid excuse and I apologize. Thanks to whomever edited my post (really) and for the "gentle" message in re same.

As to you Block miscreants, I'll see you soon...certainly at the Shoals now that himself is no longer there (and certainly the Oar or the Kitten's). I had heard he was less than pleased to be asked to leave.

[rick-slo]

I guess it puts Chet Akins in about the same camp:

"Chet walks out of a recording studio. Man says "Boy, Chet, that guitar sure sounded good." Atkins puts the guitar down, leans it against the wall and asks, "How does it sound now?""

First compliment the playing and and how much you enjoyed listening. Try not to suggest the instrument played had something to do with it and that it is your main interest.

[Joe Beamish]

Originally Posted by rick-slo

I guess it puts Chet Akins in about the same camp:

"Chet walks out of a recording studio. Man says "Boy, Chet, that guitar sure sounded good." Atkins puts the guitar down, leans it against the wall and asks, "How does it sound now?""

First compliment the playing and and how much you enjoyed listening. Try not to suggest the instrument played had something to do with it and that it is your main interest.

This is insightful. I have a feeling this was a factor in (not a justification for) the Profession Musician's being a jerk wad.

But, honestly, just between us chickens, I don't actually believe the story to begin with. Partly because OP came back three years later to revive the thread, and the essentially trivial, forgettable interaction.

That in itself is kinda weird.

[foxo]

Originally Posted by Joe Beamish

This is insightful. I have a feeling this was a factor in (not a justification for) the Profession Musician's being a jerk wad.

But, honestly, just between us chickens, I don't actually believe the story to begin with. Partly because OP came back three years later to revive the thread, and the essentially trivial, forgettable interaction.

That in itself is kinda weird.

Some people really do bear a grudge. Don’t get on OP’s bad side!