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#1
08-02-2010, 04:43 PM
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Original - "Pick it Up"
OK - now that I've gotten my feet wet here (my first post was one of my more "polished" recordings and compositions), I'm ready to jump in a little deeper...
http://flatstanleys.com/music/pickitup.mp3 NOTE: There is an s-bomb around the 2:50 mark, so, if that offends, take heed... A couple of notes: I recorded this plugged directly in. I often have to do that because I have 3 boys at home, and getting the "mic time" is often so hard, I have to reserve that for just the vocals. I'm not happy with solo-ey guitar parts at all. My idea was just to convey that there would be something of that nature there, and get a better guitarist to play it. So, here's my big question - is the intensity level of the vocals too high? I had intended to have more of a dynamic to it, and it just kept coming out like this...should I go back and try to tone it down in spots? Lyrics: Last night you told me You felt so much older At least that's what I think... The smell of White Shoulders Is clouding my judgement Impairing my vision The white noise distraction From my television Is making me wonder if I heard you rightly You've broken it off - you're free nearly nightly But then that monologue I've so often rehearsed Is cut short by a ringing from inside your purse... And so you choose to misuse the one who adores you Fall down on your knees for the one who ignores you You know he'll be better some day And you know that I'm only a phone call away Pick it up That's what you said on my voicemail Your lip quivers. You sound frail. Pick it up Your tears full of pretention You say that you need me for redemption But am I the best, or am I just the best thing around? Why should I pick it up When all you do is put me down? It's 2am, I don't care where you are At least that's what I tell My 13th PBR Until you pull up And step out of you car I pretend not to see you I strum my guitar You're lonely, I know it That's what I expect Your story betrayed By the mark on your neck And though I am ready and more than just willing I cannot collect all the bull**** your spilling You make up your bed, but refuse to lie down The shade of the canopy cannot hide your frown I'd save you, like I always do But lying's your thing, it comes easy to you Pick it up You say right on key with the tone You can't spend this long night alone Pick it up Says the digitized version of you But my analog heart is still broken in two And beating two disjointed, lonely and half-hearted sounds Why should I pick it up When all you do is put me down? 
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#2
08-03-2010, 07:30 AM
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The vocal delivery reminds me of Meatloaf (that's not a bad thing). Well done.
__________________
ShowcaseYourMusic (covers) ReverbNation (originals) SoundCloud (the Hobo Troubadour)
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#3
08-03-2010, 08:19 AM
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Thanks, Bob - I love Meatloaf (on all counts)!
That's a comparison that is not something I've heard before, but, when after recording that song, I did feel like it had something of a theatrical quality to it that I didn't intend or expect when writing it. So, I could see how the Loaf might come to mind there.
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#4
08-03-2010, 11:30 AM
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Well done again. As one who sometimes plugs his guitar in to the board, I'm familiar with the "loss of depth" that you get and agree that this song in particular, could use a nice full guitar sound. We ought to go on tour, between your serious relationship songs, and my sad country songs, alcohol sales will be through the roof!!! The owners will love us!! Great song. BTW, I sort of got a Harry Chapin vibe from your stuff(which of course is a GREAT thing!)
__________________
"A songwriter's job is to go digging around in his soul and come up with, and put to paper, what others can't express about the soul itself." -Radney Foster Ranger's Soundclick page Roy's Reverbnation page
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#5
08-03-2010, 01:33 PM
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Thanks, Ranger... I've heard the Chapin comparison before, particular from people for whom I play this song and always consider it something of a compliment.
Yeah! Let's take the tearjerker tour on the road! I started to respond that all of my "serious" songs are not about relationships, but it seems like most are... I guess I need to branch out a little...
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#6
08-03-2010, 01:44 PM
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Quote:
__________________
"A songwriter's job is to go digging around in his soul and come up with, and put to paper, what others can't express about the soul itself." -Radney Foster Ranger's Soundclick page Roy's Reverbnation page
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