Dealing with burnout (playing hammered dulcimer)

[PorkPieGuy]

I’ve been a member of this forum for a long time. Right now, I play drums in a band, and things are slowing down quite a bit for us, and to be honest, I think we are going to be less busy next year than we were this year (I hope I’m wrong.)

During this musical journey, I spent quite a while learning and playing hammered dulcimer. There for a while, I really did love it. I recorded 4 projects, got to play some pretty cool places, sold a lot of product, got to be on TV, etc. After several years, I got into a rut. I was playing A LOT, but I wasn’t really learning anything new. Some gigs, I would sit at a general store for 4 hours or so playing and selling CDs. The last two times I did this, I didn’t sell anything, and didn’t even hardly make back gas money of getting there. CDs are pretty much dead at this point. I’m so tired of doing the “same ol’, same ol’” in terms of where to play and what to play. Somewhere during all of this, I attended a couple of dulcimer festivals and took classes to hopefully get inspired a little. I tried, but it really didn’t work. I was still tired and burned out.

These days, I still play weddings every now and again, and I usually play at church during Christmas, but somewhere along the way, it became more about making money than it did making music. The crux of all of this is this:
I miss is having the DRIVE to learn and play out and be creative on the hammered dulcimer. I don't really care a whole lot right now, but I WANT to care. Here are common thoughts that always creep in whenever the band thing starts to slow down, but maybe there’s something to them:

1. Maybe it's time to get a new instrument. One thing that keeps creeping back into my mind is maybe it’s time to get another hammered dulcimer, but getting one with dampers. Basically, it’s an upgraded instrument that lets me dampen notes as opposed to letting them ring out. I LOVE playing with dampers, but they can’t be retrofitted to what I already own. My problem with this is price. I’m afraid to spend almost $3,000 on something that I might or might not want to do.

2. Maybe I should just quit altogether. Not sell my instrument, but just take it as it comes.

3. Maybe I should try to find another band to play drums in. Well, I’ve actually been trying this, and there’s absolutely nothing in this area. I play drums at church, and I play in a band. I'd play more if I could, but I simply can't find a gig here in bluegrass country.

If I could do anything, I would "will myself" to be excited about this again, but I'm struggling.

My poor wife is tired of hearing my thoughts about all of this, so it's your turn! Thanks for your advice in advance. I appreciate you all.

[srick]

PPG - just a thought, have you listened to much jazz vibraphone? Gary Burton, Lionel Hampton and the like? Obviously a lot of similarities.

The Hammered dulcimer is a glorious little instrument, but it’s tough to turn it into a polyphonic device (bass and melody). Of course, it can be done. Maybe a break picking up piano, or heaven forbid, guitar, is in order.

Goofy thought - has anyone ever created the hammered dulcimer equivalent of a harp guitar or a baritone guitar? (Now there’s some creative ideas!)

Best,

Rick

[LouieAtienza]

On the bright side, it's not banjo burnout...

[Bax Burgess]

Is there room in Bluegrass for Bodhran and Cajon?

[FrankHudson]

Sounds like you giving yourself a consistent message that it's time to change things up.

Having gone through different periods myself (times when I play mostly acoustic, mostly electric, mostly instrumental, only songs, free improv, composing, co-writing, solo writing, bands, solo, and so on) it's sometimes good to take a break, particularly when things aren't seeming fresh. In those time I don't necessarily sell instruments, I just take a break from what has grown stale. Sometimes these breaks are several years, but even a few months is often effective. And sometimes it's just using an instrument in a different way, in a different context.

I can't tell you how to address the message your giving yourself, but asking the question is the start. And I know how hard it is for many others to understand this sort of problem when those who make art talk about it.

It's particularly sad to hear that you're having trouble finding opportunities as a drummer. How many times in a band context have I had the opposite problem of not being able to find and keep a drummer. Hopefully the right thing will come along or be found there.

[dspoel]

Have you discussed thus in your band? Expanding the band’s repertoire or adding more improvisation (not just the odd solo) could give new inspiration if your bandmates are open to that.

[patrickgm60]

One question I've had to ask myself repeatedly, when in a band or repeat gig situation is "Why am I doing this?" For the past several years, the reason(s) have not been enough to do very many. The joy of playing can be found in small groups, open mics, etc.; perhaps you don't even "need" the gigs to feed your passion?

[Jim Owen]

Hi PPG,

I’ve dealt with burnout before. As you know, it’s not always what it appears to be on the surface. So it’s hard to cure.

I find listening to other creative musicians can break my ruts. Your former pupil Benjamin Barker has been playing up a storm of late—just saw him a few weeks back.

[Mandobart]

Originally Posted by Bax Burgess

Is there room in Bluegrass for Bodhran and Cajon?

No. Not in traditional bluegrass. If you can find anti- bg maybe. Most string bands that use drums use a real drummer. But no, if you really want to play drums, certain genres like gypsy jazz, bluegrass and Hawaiian slack key are out.

[LouieAtienza]

I think though with burn-out, maybe it's time to just step a way for a bit, do other musical things... listen to some music you're probably not used to listening to. It happens with almost everything in life - if you do it regularly and repeatedly, it can get boring. Maybe a little break would refresh your mind and renew your interest when you decide to come back to it. It's the same thing with diet, exercise, work, hobby - you get so efficient and accustomed to it that it becomes a droning thing you could almost do in your sleep. When I was a kid we watched Amadeus on video tape, and I never forget that scene where Mozart is challenged to play upside-down. Well, as kids, my brother and I attempted that on the piano at home! Of course we couldn't do it fluently, but with practice we were able to fudge a tune out. I think we can get so fussy and uptight about equipment and technique that we forget what drew us to an instrument in the first place... You got to do it because you enjoy it, and let the monetary thing be secondary, because you don't have to worry about that when you play - you're good enough to get paid.

[Mr. Jelly]

If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. Follow your bliss!

[KarenB]

You wrote: I LOVE playing with dampers.
Can you find a used hammered dulcimer with dampers? Perhaps the price would be do-able for you. The word LOVE is very powerful.

As someone who has experienced burnout rather often, I know it's a hard place to be. It eats at you. You want to feel that passion again, but it's just not there. But at some point that passion pushes through and comes around again. Those of us who play music can't NOT play music forever. It owns us. And will torture us eventually if we don't pay attention to it.

Sometimes we just have to let go and NOT play music. But it will circle back. You will surrender to the call of the muse.

I just started reading a book called "The War of Art" by Steven Pressfield. The beginning talks about resistance. After reading the first few pages, I picked up my guitar and started singing and playing, which I haven't done for awhile and remembered how good it feels.

You will find your passion again.

[kkrell]

Not sure what genre of music you're focusing on. What about Irish Traditional Music on hammered dulcimer. You're in bluegrass country, but maybe there are some Irish or old-tyme sessions.

[PorkPieGuy]

Originally Posted by dspoel

Have you discussed thus in your band? Expanding the band’s repertoire or adding more improvisation (not just the odd solo) could give new inspiration if your bandmates are open to that.

Oh, the band I have is great! I love playing drums more than anything with the band that I'm in. The thing is we don't play out enough to scratch my itch. In addition, there are some things on the horizon that may prohibit us from playing much next year. I love those guys though.

Originally Posted by Jim Owen

Hi PPG,

I’ve dealt with burnout before. As you know, it’s not always what it appears to be on the surface. So it’s hard to cure.

I find listening to other creative musicians can break my ruts. Your former pupil Benjamin Barker has been playing up a storm of late—just saw him a few weeks back.

Thanks Jim.

Benjamin is out there killing it right now. I think he got second place at Winfield this year. He's doing great!

Originally Posted by LouieAtienza

I think though with burn-out, maybe it's time to just step a way for a bit, do other musical things... listen to some music you're probably not used to listening to. [...] You got to do it because you enjoy it, and let the monetary thing be secondary, because you don't have to worry about that when you play - you're good enough to get paid.

I appreciate your kind words and advice. I definitely need to start listening to some different things. As a matter of fact, I never listen to music. Like at all. I listen to podcasts on my commute, and I simply do not have time to listen to music at home much these days.

Originally Posted by KarenB

You wrote: I LOVE playing with dampers.
Can you find a used hammered dulcimer with dampers? Perhaps the price would be do-able for you. The word LOVE is very powerful.

As someone who has experienced burnout rather often, I know it's a hard place to be. It eats at you. You want to feel that passion again, but it's just not there. But at some point that passion pushes through and comes around again. Those of us who play music can't NOT play music forever. It owns us. And will torture us eventually if we don't pay attention to it.

This is gold. Thanks for the kind words. Yes, I love playing with dampers, but even a used instrument with dampers (that actually sounds good) is about $3k. This is a big risk in my book. I'd hate to spend that kind of money and then not touch it after 2 weeks. I may just have to save up and see.

Originally Posted by kkrell

Not sure what genre of music you're focusing on. What about Irish Traditional Music on hammered dulcimer. You're in bluegrass country, but maybe there are some Irish or old-tyme sessions.

There's a ton of old-tyme around here, and I really don't like it. Some of the celtic tunes are pretty cool, but I've not really studied them too much. It may be worth looking into.

Thanks again for everyone's advice. Y'all are the best.

[BrunoBlack]

I’m sorry your in a tough place right now, but I understand how “work” or a “job” can get old for many of us. That’s why we retire! Somehow I’m not surprised this happens to working musicians too. I hope you can figure out a way to make your music fresh and fun without being old and tired. Best of luck PP.