Shrink Section

[srick]

Originally Posted by Uncle R.

Your wife is a wise woman, and you are fortunate to have her.

And she's always right! (she's lucky to have me for a little balance in her life!)

[RustyAxe]

@skip ellis ... i hear ya. No advice, I’m kinda in the same fix. My country band is gigging 2/3 times a month, and I enjoy it (bass and vocals) but there’s so much other stuff I’d like to do, on acoustic guitar. When solo my set list goes back to the 20’s, and includes much of “The Great American Songbook”.

I could put together a great band of excellent musicians just from guys I know, but the scarcity of well paying gigs makes it hard to recruit competent players on the promise of upcoming gigs that don’t exist.

[dkstott]

I attend a 2 hour weekly jam session for the fellowship these days.

Most of the music (60-70's folk, blues & rock genre) they play is no longer on my radar for songs that I want to play. Think 2 hours of playing 3-4 chords and a prayer type songs. LOL

However, playing with them definitely helps with improving my timing.

My primary guitar currently is a nylon string guitar which also isn't exactly "jam session" loud.

It seems that the older I get (64 years young) the more interested I am playing classical pieces and American songbook jazz type finger-style arrangements.

So I relegate myself to strumming along or doing lead type fills in between choruses OR working on playing those standard chords all over the fret board.

[Skip Ellis]

Originally Posted by dkstott

I attend a 2 hour weekly jam session for the fellowship these days.

Most of the music (60-70's folk, blues & rock genre) they play is no longer on my radar for songs that I want to play. Think 2 hours of playing 3-4 chords and a prayer type songs. LOL

However, playing with them definitely helps with improving my timing.

My primary guitar currently is a nylon string guitar which also isn't exactly "jam session" loud.

It seems that the older I get (64 years young) the more interested I am playing classical pieces and American songbook jazz type finger-style arrangements.

So I relegate myself to strumming along or doing lead type fills in between choruses OR working on playing those standard chords all over the fret board.

I guess I'm really not as alone as I thought. I'm not much of a 'people person' (PTSD), though, so the 'fellowship' part would probably keep me away. How do you stand to play that kind of music (especially rock and blues), without wanting to quit altogether? I couldn't do it.

[KevWind]

Skip seems like you posted about this before so I take it you haven't really found a satisfactory solution, answer , or course of action?
Well I somewhat understand some of the more general psychology aspects
of what you are saying.

Although never full time and my primary income was always something else.

I have played since 1964 and started part time paying gigs in 1975 and did so up until about a year ago as my last paying gig.

I do understand the notion of preferring to perform live for other people, and playing at home as being simply the learning of, or writing of, new material and or practicing with the intent of playing out, as opposed to just playing at home for self enjoyment.

First from a completely arm-chair psychology perspective ( so take it for what it is worth or not)

But perhaps consider that other players not being "up to one's standards" is a function of "expectations placed on others" And expectations placed on others is often fraught with self inflicted disappointment. For which the only practical solutions is to let go of those expectations.

Ok enough of that . I am also what is often referred to as "a loner" and not big on constant socializing. I do enjoy performing for people, but as Bob Seger put it in one of his songs "Out there in the spotlight your a million miles away"


One thing I did 16 years ago was get seriously involved home recording and lately video . Mostly for my own entertainment and a new steep learning curve and challenge.

Also I don't know your location and you say the open mic scene is dismal . I guess I am lucky because now one regular music function I attend and enjoy is going to the Jackson Hole Hootenanny (open mic)
But admittedly it is a bit different than the prototypical open mic .
For one it is very popular both with musicians and just listening audience
Two more than half the acts are of reasonable professional grade quality and interesting to listen to .
Also they the Hoot organizers (in agreement with the venue) ask the audience to not talk while the musicians are performing on stage. This gives the event more of a concert listening type feel with better direct interaction between audience and performer.

So if there is nothing like that in your area what about trying to start something like that ?

[Skip Ellis]

Originally Posted by KevWind

Skip seems like you posted about this before so I take it you haven't really found a satisfactory solution, answer , or course of action?
Well I somewhat understand some of the more general psychology aspects
of what you are saying.

Although never full time and my primary income was always something else.

I have played since 1964 and started part time paying gigs in 1975 and did so up until about a year ago as my last paying gig.

I do understand the notion of preferring to perform live for other people, and playing at home as being simply the learning of, or writing of, new material and or practicing with the intent of playing out, as opposed to just playing at home for self enjoyment.

First from a completely arm-chair psychology perspective ( so take it for what it is worth or not)

But perhaps consider that other players not being "up to one's standards" is a function of "expectations placed on others" And expectations placed on others is often fraught with self inflicted disappointment. For which the only practical solutions is to let go of those expectations.

Ok enough of that . I am also what is often referred to as "a loner" and not big on constant socializing. I do enjoy performing for people, but as Bob Seger put it in one of his songs "Out there in the spotlight your a million miles away"


One thing I did 16 years ago was get seriously involved home recording and lately video . Mostly for my own entertainment and a new steep learning curve and challenge.

Also I don't know your location and you say the open mic scene is dismal . I guess I am lucky because now one regular music function I attend and enjoy is going to the Jackson Hole Hootenanny (open mic)
But admittedly it is a bit different than the prototypical open mic .
For one it is very popular both with musicians and just listening audience
Two more than half the acts are of reasonable professional grade quality and interesting to listen to .
Also they the Hoot organizers (in agreement with the venue) ask the audience to not talk while the musicians are performing on stage. This gives the event more of a concert listening type feel with better direct interaction between audience and performer.

So if there is nothing like that in your area what about trying to start something like that ?

Good points, for sure and there are some open mics in the area and an ongoing bluegrass jam (25 yrs - every Thursday evening!) but it's very clique-ish and pretty boring music-wise.

One thing I should add that probably makes it harder for me is that I don't sing, have no desire to sing and don't care much for hearing others sing (with rare exceptions). I've always been a guitar nerd and couldn't care less about anything but purely instrumental music. I'd say I lean about 90% instrumental to vocal in my musical preferences. It sort of puts me in kind of a 'no-man's island in the midst of a sea of singer/songwriters.

I do have the basic equipment for home recording (matched condensers/USB interface/Audacity/Cakewalk, etc.) but have not really gotten excited enough about it to really get involved and I'm not a real picky person about sound quality, so one recording sounds about like any other unless there's a bunch of hiss/crackle/pop involved. Could be due to exposure to rockets and mortars back in the day and 50 years of standing in front of loud amps. I may look into it a little more, though - thanks for the suggestion.

[KevWind]

Originally Posted by Skip Ellis

Good points, for sure and there are some open mics in the area and an ongoing bluegrass jam (25 yrs - every Thursday evening!) but it's very clique-ish and pretty boring music-wise.

Honestly I have yet to impressed by a Blue Grass jam (other than skill of a few guitarists) And have also found them to be at top of clique-ish department. I sometimes get a mischievous kick out of showing up with my Taylor 810 ce cutaway.
Talk about no-man is an island in the sea of Martin D 28 , the thinly veiled discomfort squirming and gnashing of teeth is kinda humorous

One thing I should add that probably makes it harder for me is that I don't sing, have no desire to sing and don't care much for hearing others sing (with rare exceptions). I've always been a guitar nerd and couldn't care less about anything but purely instrumental music. I'd say I lean about 90% instrumental to vocal in my musical preferences. It sort of puts me in kind of a 'no-man's island in the midst of a sea of singer/songwriters.

I can see that, At the Hoot it is probably 90% vocal and guitar
But there are a few instrumentalist and this fellow is extremely popular
Here he is at the annual Center for the Arts performance of the Hootananny.

[Mandobart]

Kev you're going to the wrong BG jams. I've been known to bring an octave mando, archtop guitar, resonator mandolin, mandocello or Hardanger fiddle to ours. We have some very good players and some not so good. Probably not up to Skip's or your personal standards. But we have a great time enjoying music and each other's company.

[Mr. Jelly]

I came to a point where performing in a general way held no interest to me any longer. I didn't desire the attention. But I still wanted and liked to play the guitar. So I slowly started weeding out songs that I didn't want to play for myself. As opposed to playing for somebody else. I quit playing allot of songs. I basically started down the path of trying to find my true musical interest. I'm still on it and enjoying every minute of it. Every time I think I might have the answer I look up and find there's still a ways to go. You might find your interests isn't where you thought it was when the only person you are trying to please is yourself.

[Skip Ellis]

Originally Posted by Mr. Jelly

I came to a point where performing in a general way held no interest to me any longer. I didn't desire the attention. But I still wanted and liked to play the guitar. So I slowly started weeding out songs that I didn't want to play for myself. As opposed to playing for somebody else. I quit playing allot of songs. I basically started down the path of trying to find my true musical interest. I'm still on it and enjoying every minute of it. Every time I think I might have the answer I look up and find there's still a ways to go. You might find your interests isn't where you thought it was when the only person you are trying to please is yourself.

Good point - I think my path will always be ragtime/Kentucky thumbstyle/DADGAD

Like you, I really don't enjoy playing out much any more but I have a couple commitments that I have to honor so can't really give it up for a while. Maybe that's part of the problem - I'm forced to do it for the near future and I'd rather stay home.