Highly discouraged this morning...

[fitness1]

One of my clients is a 30 year plus orchestra teacher in 6-8 grade.

She has told me a lot of stories over the 10 years we've worked together, and the largest segment have to do with parents who think their kids are "gifted" who are the farthest thing from that.

My guess is, those who are being vocal about it don't want their "gifted" kids to be tainted by those fiddle tunes. They probably want them to stick to the classics because they think their kids going to get a music scholarship.

As others have said, I'd just tell the teacher the positive - that your daughter really enjoys it and would hate to see it stop.

[brencat]

Originally Posted by roylor4

Simply tell the teacher that you & your daughter really like that part of the class. What other people say or think is immaterial. Don't be silent though. If there is a chance to keep the fiddle tune part of class going - it will come from your (and maybe 1 or 2 other parents) positive comments.

Exactly. You want to shape the narrative in YOUR favor. Don't tell the teacher about the negative comments you heard, as they might be inclined to eliminate that part of the lesson in their own financial interest.

Just tell the teacher how much your daughter loves the fiddle tune segment and how 'it's helped us to play more together at home'.

[JERZEY]

Originally Posted by Shades of Blue

My daughter has been playing violin since age 4. She's 8 now and the violin has become a part of her identity. Last year, her teacher asked me to start playing the guitar during the entire class's fiddle tune segment. Each week, the entire class has a group lesson and the last 10 minutes of the lesson is focusing on fiddle tunes. Up until now, this class has been highly classical in nature.

Last week, my wife overheard a few of the more tenured parents expressing their discontent over the fiddle tune portion of the lessons. Some of it was jesting over the nature of fiddle tunes in general, but some of them even said that they just didn't think the kids were "getting it" and it just didn't sound good. The piano player who plays with the kids normally even said that "she never understood nor liked fiddle tunes."

So, I've been struck with a dilemma. It isn't a large class, so it is safe to say that over 75% of the parents are not on board with the fiddle tune segment that the teacher has incorporated. My daughter REALLY responds to it, and it helps that we both practice at home and it has given us something to connect over.

Do I tell the teacher what we heard, or do I just try to tune it out and enjoy it while it lasts? Surely they've complained to him because, well, they seem the type to voice and complain quite frankly. I haven't necessarily kicked it off with any of the parents because they can't seem to get their noses down far enough to look me in the eyes. I just don't know how to proceed because either way, it puts a real damper on something good that I felt was brewing between me and my daughter.

Stay out of that drama. Nothing worse then tribal parents. You open your mouth and no matter how you see it you will be the bad guy.

[BallisticSquid]

My son has been taking viola lessons for almost 4 years and he LOVES playing fiddle music! I join in on the guitar with him and it's fun for both of us. So I understand where you are coming from.

Personally, I think the focus should be on the kids. If most of the kids are enjoying that part of the class, then I say "no worries" and perhaps reinforce that with the teacher. Ultimately it's the teacher's decision to lay out the class structure. If the parents don't like it, I'm sure there are other programs where they can take their kid if they prefer a more traditional and classical approach.

Where my son took lessons they have a string ensemble (aka fiddle group) that students may be invited to participate in. It's optional. My son loved it!

Whatever happens, don't give up playing with your daughter even if it's just at home. Making music with your kids is just awesome in so many ways.

[T Texas]

As usual on the AGF, cooler heads prevail.

However, I would stop doing it there and invite anyone that wants to come to do it elsewhere. And of course I would definitely keep doing it with my kid. But that's just me.

[Wade Hampton]

Something else I’d suggest you do the next time you hear that carping is ask those complaining parents whether they’d like their kids to continue to play their instruments after they graduate from school. If they say yes, which most of them probably will, then tell them that the statistics show that the violin students who’ve had exposure to fiddle playing and folk music forms are FAR more likely to continue playing music as adults than those who have only been exposed to classical music.

Because the truth is that, in adult life, there are very few opportunities to play classical music unless the violinist is a superb player. There aren’t many slots open for classical violinists, because they’ve been trained to operate only in very structured settings, but these days even those scarce opportunities are dwindling.

Fiddlers, however, tend to either create their own opportunities, or else fit in easily in informal music gatherings.

Above all, don’t let those other parents’ uninformed and ignorant complaints go unchallenged. Be patient, pleasant and above all polite, but whenever you hear that nonsense take a moment to explain the benefits of what the teacher is doing in those fiddle tune segments.

Bring in the financial aspect: “Do you want all the money you’ve spent and will spend on these instruments and instruction to be wasted, or do you want the kids to benefit from this in later years?”

When you put it that way, the chances are that all but the worst snobs among the other parents will pull their heads out of their backsides and start to see the sense of what this teacher is doing.

Hope that makes sense.


Wade Hampton Miller

[Gottaplay]

At a young age to take joy from being taught to both read music AND to play by ear i.e. bridging the gap between violin and fiddle is IMHO an invaluable skill. Supporting your daughter and her teacher is your right.

"Carry on and don't mind the bullocks."

[lowrider]

Originally Posted by Brooklyn Bob

Kids are great. Parents suck.

Absolutely! That really sums it up.

Does it look like the other kids are enjoying it? How about the teacher? I'd want to keep it going, don't let the know-nothings stop you!

[Wade Hampton]

By the way, I have to disagree with Brencat in that I don’t think you need to shelter the teacher from the remarks of these disgruntled parents: I’m sure he’s completely aware of them.

Having taught many classes of both kids and adults, believe me, I heard from parents when they weren’t happy about something.

In your position I would talk to the instructor and just tell him that you back what he’s doing and think that the kids definitely benefit from it.

As for the unhappy parents, I suspect that they’re inured to painful violin scraping from their kids if they think the kids are being “uplifted” somehow, but painful out of tune hey-ninny hey-ninny fiddle scraping is almost certainly getting on their nerves when the kids practice at home.

So you explaining the later life benefits of playing folk-based music for these young violinists might help ease their minds considerably.


whm

[Maryc-k]

A music scholarship is much easier to come by than a job/making a living as a musician. Most of my conservatory cohorts are still struggling to make a living in their fifties.

Stage moms, sheesh. My mom was clearly in that other camp of moms who said, “make sure you have a backup plan”. She was right. Thanks mom!

[DavidE]

Watch these two videos. The first one shows the group playing a fiddle tune. Mom on the guitar and her daughters on congas, bass and vocals. They did have to bring in Elizabeth on fiddle, but she might as well be family at this point. They play to thousands in the big tent at our Irish festival in Dublin, Ohio.

I played a gig with the bass player daughter this weekend and mom came out. I had her bring her guitar, but she played mine. She lit up the room, then her daughter joined her and then I joined them both. There’s a bond there that cannot be replaced. Keep doing whatever it takes to continue making music with your daughter.

https://youtu.be/EXcAMXXVRDg


https://youtu.be/VsWSA_8C4JI

[Shades of Blue]

Originally Posted by Wade Hampton

Something else I’d suggest you do the next time you hear that carping is ask those complaining parents whether they’d like their kids to continue to play their instruments after they graduate from school. If they say yes, which most of them probably will, then tell them that the statistics show that the violin students who’ve had exposure to fiddle playing and folk music forms are FAR more likely to continue playing music as adults than those who have only been exposed to classical music.

Because the truth is that, in adult life, there are very few opportunities to play classical music unless the violinist is a superb player. There aren’t many slots open for classical violinists, because they’ve been trained to operate only in very structured settings, but these days even those scarce opportunities are dwindling.

Fiddlers, however, tend to either create their own opportunities, or else fit in easily in informal music gatherings.

Above all, don’t let those other parents’ uninformed and ignorant complaints go unchallenged. Be patient, pleasant and above all polite, but whenever you hear that nonsense take a moment to explain the benefits of what the teacher is doing in those fiddle tune segments.

Bring in the financial aspect: “Do you want all the money you’ve spent and will spend on these instruments and instruction to be wasted, or do you want the kids to benefit from this in later years?”

When you put it that way, the chances are that all but the worst snobs among the other parents will pull their heads out of their backsides and start to see the sense of what this teacher is doing.

Hope that makes sense.


Wade Hampton Miller

Thanks Wade. My wife and I were just talking about this last night. My brother was a first chair trumpet player in the high school marching band. They were great and won state competitions several years in a row. The sad thing is that I haven't seen him play the trumpet since he graduated 12 years ago.

Folk style music is something that can be played anytime, even for fun among friends. I hope she continues to enjoy it and stick with it!

[Shades of Blue]

Originally Posted by lowrider

Absolutely! That really sums it up.

Does it look like the other kids are enjoying it? How about the teacher? I'd want to keep it going, don't let the know-nothings stop you!

The kids seemed to enjoy it simply from the aspect of getting to play with a guitar player. It was new and exciting. The difficult part for them is obviously more than likely practicing at home with the guitar. My daughter gets the leg up there so to speak, and it shows in class. The competition side of this is apparent in the other parents because their "stellar" students are struggling as the fiddle tunes get harder. The funny thing is that my daughter was middle of the pack with the classical tunes, with a few students really excelling. So, anything that makes the top 2 or 3 players look human is what I feel is the most upsetting to the parents.

My thing is that 50 minutes of the lesson is traditional classical violin learning. 10 flippin' minutes are fiddle tunes. What's the big deal?

[sbmackie]

I vote with talking to the teacher in private and give him the thumbs up on fiddle tunes. Better yet, if she's up to it, have HER tell the instructor how much she enjoys it. If I read it right, he asked you to play the guitar for this portion. Looks like he might get it. One nod of affirmation from a student and parent can offset lots of griping. And, oh by the way, the big deal is the complaining parents are ignorant idjits.

[BallisticSquid]

Originally Posted by Shades of Blue

The kids seemed to enjoy it simply from the aspect of getting to play with a guitar player. It was new and exciting. The difficult part for them is obviously more than likely practicing at home with the guitar. My daughter gets the leg up there so to speak, and it shows in class. The competition side of this is apparent in the other parents because their "stellar" students are struggling as the fiddle tunes get harder. The funny thing is that my daughter was middle of the pack with the classical tunes, with a few students really excelling. So, anything that makes the top 2 or 3 players look human is what I feel is the most upsetting to the parents.

My thing is that 50 minutes of the lesson is traditional classical violin learning. 10 flippin' minutes are fiddle tunes. What's the big deal?

In my mind, anything that gets kids excited about music is a good thing! Are the kids viewing this competitively or is it only the parents? Are all of the kids having fun?