Playing a wedding and I have some questions

[rokdog49]

All I can say is a mother who goes behind her own child’s back like this is doing something completely selfish and disingenuous. I would flat out have nothing to do with it. Your “very dear friend” is asking you to participate in a deceptive act that places you squarely in the blame if it goes badly.
If you truly are close, you could carefully point she is compromising you. If she is truly your friend she should consider your place in this.
If she doesn’t, then I can’t see much of a friendship here.
I have no other advice for you.

[Tony Burns]

All churchs are different - a smart thing to do would be to contact the parish
( where the service is being held ) and directly ask the priest what is and what is not acceptable as far as music is concerned -
some are hard to deal with but most appreciate the call and will work with you . any priest or pastor of any faith will be different from each other -no two people are the same .
but most when you ask are more than reasonable -
BUT DONT GO IN THEIR COLD WITHOUT ASKING - ive seen a priest stop and mention that a particular song at a mass, was not appropriate ( only saw this once )
I typically only ever asked a bride what she likes and go from their -involving alot of people is insane - No moms or other relatives !


I use to play Paul Stookeys Wedding song as a entrance song - and a few acoustic hyms -job done -easy peasey -

[Photojeep]

Thank you all for your sage advise and wisdom.

I have been told that the church's wedding coordinator said anything was ok.

I appreciate all of your help and have a plan to handle all parties but I do have one music related question:

Is there a video or an online site where I can learn "Here Comes The Sun" as a single voice and guitar?

I agree with just about all of your advise except for the "run away" part. I appreciate your honesty but I will respectfully not run away. I've known the bride her entire life and her intended seems like a fine young man who just wants his bride-to-be as happy as possible.

Thank you all again,
PJ

[llew]

Check you tube. Original key is A but played out of the D position 7th fret capo. Have seen Paul Simon play it out of open A however?

[bufflehead]

Originally Posted by Photojeep

Is there a video or an online site where I can learn "Here Comes The Sun" as a single voice and guitar?

When I first saw that it was capo 7 I thought that there was no way George Harrison would have played it that way, but he sure enough did.

GH played it with an up-down-up-down picking pattern that was pretty distinctive for him. Learn it that way if you want it to sound more authentic.

Good for you for standing by your friends.

[leew3]

I would only add, keep smiling (and pack up quickly!)

[ManyMartinMan]

Originally Posted by Photojeep

T...I agree with just about all of your advise except for the "run away" part. I appreciate your honesty but I will respectfully not run away.....

Yeah. You don't run from minor issues, you address them by following what your client wants you to play. If anyone other than your client suggests or wants something simply refer them to your client. " I understand but you need to speak to ..."

[Italuke]

Yeah, this is NOT how wedding music is planned. These people have it all wrong and they need to work it out, in conjunction with the priest. YOU cannot be in the middle of this festival of joy and understanding.

[Jeff Scott]

Originally Posted by Photojeep

Is there a video or an online site where I can learn "Here Comes The Sun" as a single voice and guitar?

I learned it from this:

https://www.amazon.com/Beatles-Compl.../dp/0634022296

Great book; highly recommended.

Capo at the 7th fret is, to me, the only way it sounds correct.

The song was really easy to grok with the chords in the book. There aren't many and the picking part came naturally going by the melody part.

Have fun with it.

[Pitar]

Originally Posted by Jobe

"Why Don't We Do It In The Road" can make for a dramatic entrance. It can sound very liturgical if accompanied by a pipe organ. Just a thought.

Thank you. I was at a loss to suggest to the OP an appropriate piece for such a dramatic and tender moment but you nailed it, and now I need to wipe off my monitor.

Otherwise, I've played the instrumental version of Wedding Song by Noel Stookey for the entrance

[Wade Hampton]

I’ve played lots of weddings, both in churches and in secular locations. While I have dealt with difficult and demanding brides on occasion, nine times out of ten if anyone is going to be a complete pain in the butt it will be the mother of the bride. So this is running true to form.

Momzilla here should be ignored. Settle the music list with the bride and groom, and when any of their parents try to interfere, refer them to the happy couple. You don’t have to carry tales, much less acquiesce to any demands, just tell the old battle axe that any music suggestions have to get run past the couple, as they’ll be the ones making the final decisions.

This “play these songs but don’t tell my daughter they came from me” nonsense is an indication that the mother already tried to get her way with her daughter but got shot down. So she’s attempting an end run. Which is both conniving and manipulative.

You don’t have to play her game at all, and shouldn’t.

The fact that the bride is standing up to her mother is a good sign: it means she has backbone and won’t let her mother meddle, which is apparently the mother’s default setting.

I married into a similar family dynamic, and my wife-to-be stood up to her mother when we got engaged and has done so many times since we got married. This is a good sign for the marriage, when all is said and done. It establishes to the domineering mother that she can’t get what she wants just because she wants it.

Good luck with this.


Wade Hampton Miller

[rokdog49]

Originally Posted by Photojeep

Thank you all for your sage advise and wisdom.

I have been told that the church's wedding coordinator said anything was ok.

I appreciate all of your help and have a plan to handle all parties but I do have one music related question:

Is there a video or an online site where I can learn "Here Comes The Sun" as a single voice and guitar?

I agree with just about all of your advise except for the "run away" part. I appreciate your honesty but I will respectfully not run away. I've known the bride her entire life and her intended seems like a fine young man who just wants his bride-to-be as happy as possible.

Thank you all again,
PJ

Try this:
You can learn the vocals on your own I trust.

[roylor4]

Originally Posted by Wade Hampton

I’ve played lots of weddings, both in churches and in secular locations. While I have dealt with difficult and demanding brides on occasion, nine times out of ten if anyone is going to be a complete pain in the butt it will be the mother of the bride. So this is running true to form.

Momzilla here should be ignored. Settle the music list with the bride and groom, and when any of their parents try to interfere, refer them to the happy couple. You don’t have to carry tales, much less acquiesce to any demands, just tell the old battle axe that any music suggestions have to get run past the couple, as they’ll be the ones making the final decisions.

This “play these songs but don’t tell my daughter they came from me” nonsense is an indication that the mother already tried to get her way with her daughter but got shot down. So she’s attempting an end run. Which is both conniving and manipulative.

You don’t have to play her game at all, and shouldn’t.

The fact that the bride is standing up to her mother is a good sign: it means she has backbone and won’t let her mother meddle, which is apparently the mother’s default setting.

I married into a similar family dynamic, and my wife-to-be stood up to her mother when we got engaged and has done so many times since we got married. This is a good sign for the marriage, when all is said and done. It establishes to the domineering mother that she can’t get what she wants just because she wants it.

Good luck with this.


Wade Hampton Miller

Heretofore, I have never seen bad advice from WHM.

Still haven't.


I wish you luck.

[The Bard Rocks]

Originally Posted by menhir

Once I attended a reception where another band who I was friends with was hired to play. As I was talking to the lead singer, she told me in exasperation that right after they set up, the newlyweds asked for their set list and proceeded to cross out any song, almost half the list it seemed, that they deemed inappropriate. I knew the bride and groom and knew that they were very religious. Fine. So am I. But they proved to be that mean type of religious, if you know what I mean. They had already heard the band perform before they hired them so there was no excuse for what they did.
It's best to work out any restrictions ahead of time.

Heck, I'd just play what they left, playing each one as often as needed to fill the time.

Regarding the OP's difficulty, first check with the priest, then the bride and groom. No one else matters nearly as much. If they agree, you can play one or two to suit the MIL and announce that since she is such a staunch Beatles fan, you are dong this one especially for her. Play it nice, get her some attention and then get back to business.