The triangular file sounds like great advice.
As to the hammer...I first used a deadblow hammer. I have two of them, both plastic faced. I only switched to the fretting hammer because it seemed to make sense to use a tool made for that purpose and a friend loaned me his.
I've tried various amounts of force with the hammer and have noticed the brass faced hammer dents the frets even when I'm careful about hitting the frets squarely so I switched back to the plastic face.
It also seems that force isn't the whole answer. Following the StewMac instructions, I firmly tap once on each end and they seem to stay in place. Then I work my way across the middle. Even after just a few taps, one end or both pop back out and once that happens, no amount of tapping will seat it again.
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