Barry, one thing to try is to normalize your mixes. You may be comparing against music that has been level-adjusted, and if your recording is (for example) 6 dB lower, it might sound less impactful due strictly to the level difference (see Fletcher-Munson).
(And when I suggest normalization, I specifically suggest normalizing to a level below full scale. For example a soft fingerpicking song might normalize to -18 dB. A song with vocals and multiple instruments might be set to -9 dB.)
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-Gordon
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