So far, every example of when someone successfully stopped and started over involved a concert or something like that. But there are ways to make that more or less acceptable than others. For example, under no circumstances should you “fix” a mistake by repeating the bad measure or few measures - if there’s no coming back, maybe start the song over, or at least the verse. But, sometimes, if I’m just messing around with a guitar in my hand on the couch, I’ll blow some lick, and then go and play just that lick over again. I don’t think that’s ever appropriate to do while performing - it totally throws off the flow, and the flow is the most important thing to preserve.
Other examples of where it’s probably never appropriate to “fix” a mistake include if people are dancing, of if you’re accompanying dancers - all anyone really cares about there is the rhythm, and you completely destroy the experience if you try to fix something. In fact, this probably goes for any time you’re accompanying someone, including singers.
Another example is if you’re playing while people are really focused on something else - like a coffeeshop, a bar, a party. They won’t notice your wrong note, but they will notice if you keep starting and stopping, and that will lessen the enjoyment of the entire experience for them. They don’t want to be focused on you, but you’re forcing them to be.
And finally, maybe it goes without saying, but if you’re playing with others who didn’t make a mistake in the same place you did, you ruin it for everyone if you start throwing in extra measures resulting from you fixing a mistake.
I guess I’ve very rarely been in a position where I’m giving a solo performance in front of a crowd that’s there to listen to me - most of my performance experience has been playing bars, parties, accompanying dancers, ... in other words, it’s not about me. In those circumstances, you don’t start, stop, fix... you keep on, trying to making it flow.
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