I just went through the whole research and shopping thing for a small PA including mixer. Most gigging solo but, like you, I wanted to be able to handle adding a few friends if need be. Other wants of mine: reverb or other effects for vocals (guitar(s), at least mine, handled by pedalboard), and I like the idea of being able to record right off the board easily.
To answer your questions first:
FX: Up to you, but if all the FX are on your pedals you won't have any for guests. I like being able to reverb (or delay or chorus or whatever) any signal if necessary.
XLR inputs: really doesn't matter if you are DI-ing instruments. Some mixers have (one or two) Hi-Z inputs if you want to run guitars/basses straight in. If you have line-level instruments (guitar effect outputs, keys, etc.) then you'd need to have some DI boxes if the mixer only has XLRs. Combi jacks can be nice to have.
Digital v analog: Digital is far more powerful in a small package. Usually more inputs/outputs, routing, flexibility and power than similarly-priced analog gear. Downside is having to punch through menus and not having knobs right at hand.
Stereo channels: Most mixers have a few stereo or aux inputs that bump the advertised channel count even though they aren't as useful for instruments. Typical use is for recorded music playback; might also be useful for stereo keyboards that don't need EQ or FX. It's more obvious on smaller mixers that only have few full channel strips even though they might advertise 6 or 8 channels.
On to my opinions. I went digital. I got amazing power and flexibility, as well as the ability to record separate channels live to a laptop for later mixdown, and a great set of on-board effects. I can also run it off a tablet, which is mounted right on my mic stand. Tweaking things might take a couple extra taps, but it's really not that inconvenient and wireless control is amazing. All in a package the size of a large loaf of bread that sits discreetly at the back of the stage and cost just $500.
I ended up with the Behringer XR18 (18 in--16 XLR, 1 1/4" stereo, 6 out, virtual FX "rack" with 4 effects, controlled by phone, tablet or PC, and also is an 18x18 USB audio interface). Behringer used to actually be known for very inexpensive, lower-quality stuff, but recently have upped their game. They bought Midas, a high-end company, and have started to use Midas tech in their Behringer mixer lines. I decided I'd rather "buy once, cry once". The XR18 is totally overkill for a solo show, but wasn't that much more expensive than a small analog mixer, and I'm pretty much set for any eventuality up to mixing a full band if need be.
Really, it comes down to features you want and your budget. Pretty much every mixer out there (Behringer, Soundcraft, Allen & Heath, Yamaha) will have decent if not very good mic preamps and quiet circuitry, so the average person wouldn't know the difference in a live setting.
Features you should decide on:
1. Physical knobs or not? This is the big differentiator between analog & digital. If you don't mind a few extra taps/menus and like the idea of wireless mixing from anywhere in the house, go digital. If you gotta have that knob right there at hand, analog.
2. Number of channels. As you noted, not all channels are equal. Consider how many mics you might need (not all channels have mic preamps) and how many instruments. Get that many, plus a few more, with full channel strips & ignore the advertised number of channels.
3. FX. If you provide FX elsewhere, you may not need them on the mixer.
4. Number of outputs. Will you need monitors? More than one monitor mix? Will you need a send for outboard effects? Ever plan to use an aux send for a subwoofer? A lot of small boards might just have one send which limits you to one monitor mix, ever.
5. Size and weight. This is another area the digital mixers win, given similar number of channels. Tablets & screens take the place of all those heavy knobs & faders. If you want, say, 6 full channels, you're looking at an analog mixer that starts to take up a good chunk of tabletop.
6. Recording capability. May not be a need for you, but there are even a few mostly analog mixers that have USB ports and can record the main bus outputs (stereo). I like to not only be able to record & critique my performances, but re-mix later. It's a nice feature to have, given all the shows from back in the day I wish I had a recording of.
Whew. I'll stop there and let others chime in.
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