Your mic tests are.. challenging.. Fran
You even had an SM57 sounding not too bad on acoustic guitar not so long ago. They do make me rethink some of my assumptions.
Still, I don't think clipalator is totally useless. I think you can hear the character of different mics. There's a clear difference between the hypercardioid and cardioid Oktava capsules for example (the hyper sounds a lot better to me).
What would be your picks? Would you really just take home any five at random because they all sound the same anyway..?