Thumb-over chords are difficult for most anyone with smaller hands or physical issues which make strength and dexterity in your fretting hand an issue. I had similar problems and still do on some guitars. Different neck widths, string spacing and neck profile make for different results when I play different guitars. I stopped by a large booth at a recent guitar show here in DFW and asked if they had a variety of necks I could try just to see if one style fit the thumb-over style better than another might.
"Know that I do when I have that problem?", asked the vendor.
"Nope, what?", I said thinking he, the ol'timer who has been at this for decades and has played hundreds of guitars, would have some zen master-ish deep, consciousness raising insight into how to play thumb-over chords.
"I don't try to play what I can't and I just play what I can."
Pretty good advice actually, but it was a slow time at the show (very early on the first afternoon) and we went ahead and tried a few guitars just to satisfy my curiousity. Yep, some necks are easier to play in that style than others. So, that's my first suggestion - some guitars just aren't friendly to small/stiff hands trying to do stuff that meat hook hands like Merle Travis' can do with ease. On that note, be thankful for small hands, think of the guys with meat hooks trying to fit all those fat fingers into a minor seventh chord on the ninth fret. Everything in life is a trade off, friend, if you think of it that way.
The second suggestion would be the vendor's suggestion. Yes, the style of play you describe is popular with many players and it has its advantages when playing fingerstyle. But only if you can play it clean and fast. If you simply can't do that, then why play bad chords when you surely can come up with a work around? Unless you are dead set on playing exactly as someone else does - MJH in this case - you will find more pleasure and less pain by developing your own style of playing. Must you always play the 6th string bass? Maybe not so, why try? Must you play it with your thumb wrapped over the neck? Or, at that fret position? You figure it out. If you don't need an extra finger for embellishment or you can still play embellishment with a barre or some other chord shape or lifting another finger when you can, then you have another way to play the chord. Just because you see a chord name doesn't mean you need to play a familar chord shape. In fingerstyle you have the opportunity to be more selective about which fingers go where and when they need to go there. So look at what you can do and don't stress about what you can't. Make the playing your own and not a copy of someone else. 99.999% of the folks listening won't know whether you just played an exact copy of MJH or not. The remaining 0.0001% should be happy to hear a new version of the song if its played well rather than muffed for the sake of copying MJH. Anyone else? They probably didn't pay to get in anyway.
Finally, just as when you began playing, some things you do will require constant and lengthy effort. I have found that playing the thumb-over style on those guitars which are easier to reach has, slowly and over time, made it easier to finally play cleanly on those guitars which at first were extremely difficult. So, don't give up and don't look for a magic bullet from anyone else. If it existed, someone - that zen master ol'timer at least - would have explained it long ago. Just keep pushing yourself a bit more each time you play and keep playing what you can until that day comes when suddenly your thumb slides over the neck and you play a clean note with every thumb stroke. Then run and tell everyone you know, "Sixth string with one thumb!!!"
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