Friends from my teenage years? There’s just one I’m still in touch with and am proud to consider a friend. Heck of a guitar player, too. I’ve contacted others but have either gotten no response or no follow-through. A few friendships from more recent years feel like we’ve always been friends.
Ultimately, all paths are divergent.
And everybody changes. After so many years, all your cells have regenerated, so you’re essentially not the same person. With age, most people develop a more precise definition of what they’re not willing to put up with (“been there, not gonna do that”) and some, probably far fewer, become more accepting and open. Some change during difficult periods in their lives and some drive right off the cliff.
J-Doug, it sounds like this has got you down, and it’s good to see all the nice responses upthread. I recently heard someone say that he can be friends with 1 in 50 people. He’s from the town I live in and he was complaining about all the screwballs here. I think those odds might be 1 in 20 anywhere else, in the best of cases. It’s kind of depressing if you think about it, so I try not to think about it. When I’m having a great day, everyone seems like a friend (it’s the nice thing about this town), and, if I have a few of those days every week, I don’t feel lonely.
About those odds, when I was younger, I could probably go through 20 failed friendships in a few months and not think much of it. Now it would take a lot more time, effort and patience.
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