As someone who covered the local music scene for a real newspaper, I got the same impression as you did, Rupp. Her writing is extremely poor and her article would not have been printed in our paper. But it's a college paper and she's likely just a college kid that's doing it for fun or extra credit.
She was attempting to thread the needle at saying basically that you are okay for people that really don't have any musical taste (like herself) but since she was assigned this piece against her will and still had to get the article in she'll deliver just enough backhanded compliments while ensuring her readership (a bunch of other like-minded kids) that she's cool and likes cool music.
Btw - never heard of any of those bands she mentioned. Like someone else stated, this write up would be exactly what someone would write about my wife's and my acoustic duo and it would be accurate. I'm glad you were not offended and found it funny. But I know what you were feeling!
Just remember, those of us that grew up in the '70s got to see all the really good bands!
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