Strumming is a feel thing - I always hated it when the old guys told me to feel it - but, that is the best information I can give you.
Most of the rhythm guys - myself included - have three or four basic strums and then they mix and match them to the song being played. I think the key to strumming is to be able to reach into your bag of tricks and bring out THE correct strum for this specific song.
So, do you have your 3 or 4 basic strums in muscle memory? My instructor told me to take a new pattern to the couch and watch TV. Grab the neck around the 5th fret +/- to deaden the sound. Now strum your pattern. After an hour's show that pattern will be in muscle memory and belong to you.
Good luck.
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