If I had a dollar for every.......
 

...guitar I've bought in the AGF classifieds - well I'd have enough for another really nice guitar from the AGF classifieds!

If I had a dollar for every dollar I've earned, I'd still be poor!

If I only had a dollar for every song I've sung
Every time I had to play while people sat there drunk,
You know I'd catch the next train back to where I'm from
But O Lord I blew it all on GAS again.

With apologies to J.C. Fogerty

If I had a dollar .... for every time I thought I did something right and then later discovered t'weren't so ...

Wait ... I don't have words to finish this.

You just earned a theoretical dollar!!