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AmericanEagle 01-10-2020 04:43 PM

Over 50 dating challenges
 
Due to my upcoming divorce, I will be single again.
I am 52. I have no idea what the dating scene is like for someone my age.
Any thoughts?
Thank you.

ahorsewithnonam 01-10-2020 05:00 PM

Why try to date this quickly? Take your time. Enjoy freedom for a while. Let it happen naturally.

AmericanEagle 01-10-2020 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ahorsewithnonam (Post 6261673)
Why try to date this quickly? Take your time. Enjoy freedom for a while. Let it happen naturally.

Good advice, and others have said the same.
I am just very lonely. The holidays were rough.

renoslim 01-10-2020 05:39 PM

I understand the lonely in a different way. My first wife died when I was 53. I encourage you to find activities to help fill the time. Check out meetup.com, you might find something there. Get some exercise. It took me awhile before I could date again and that was hard. Computer dating can be rough. You need to be careful and go slow. Email alot and phone alot before face to face. (Facetime ? was not up then). Short dates like coffee or lunch in a public place. Your dating opposite should also appreciated safety and time to get to know you. I did meet a nice woman and we have been happily married for 12 years now so don't give up.

Lee

ahorsewithnonam 01-10-2020 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AmericanEagle (Post 6261693)
Good advice, and others have said the same.
I am just very lonely. The holidays were rough.

Hey AE, hope I didnít sound harsh. Iím kind of the opposite. I love being alone! Dating would be the last thing on my mind if I were getting a divorce.

Like I said, donít rush it. Relax, read books, work out, play guitar, go to dinner with a friend, take long walks, get to know yourself again.

I have 3 buddies. Recently divorced in the past 24 months. Two guys just love the freedom of doing what they want, whenever, without answering or explaining to anyone.

The other guy is......well......needy. Has to have someone. He has dated and is now involved with several women with kids, problems, issues, drama, needing money, emotional support......just a mess and he is worse off than when he was married.

No thanks. Dude.....just enjoy yourself for a long while.

RP 01-10-2020 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ahorsewithnonam (Post 6261673)
Why try to date this quickly? Take your time. Enjoy freedom for a while. Let it happen naturally.

Excellent advice. I've learned that the loneliness of being in a bad relationship is much worse than being alone by myself...

MrDB 01-10-2020 07:09 PM

Great advice to take your time and enjoy an element of freedom. Better to be by yourself and a little lonely than rush into some relationship that ends up in more disaster.

619TF 01-10-2020 07:19 PM

People be crazy. At all ages. Learn to be alone and only then look around to share your life. You're worth it!

ahorsewithnonam 01-10-2020 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 619TF (Post 6261796)
People be crazy. At all ages. Learn to be alone and only then look around to share your life. You're worth it!

Can I get an AMEN!

AmericanEagle 01-10-2020 07:57 PM

Thank you all for the advice.

The Bard Rocks 01-10-2020 08:00 PM

Many a mistake has been made by those on the rebound. I know. Wait until you are over it and she will appear.

Dirk Hofman 01-10-2020 08:16 PM

In donít want to presume, so if this doesnít apply, please take it in the spirit of trying to help.

I think you want to make sure youíre in a place where you can be good for someone else. I know after a tough breakup I was not always the best guy to be dating. The other person needs you to be emotionally healthy and available.

That said, company is nice and a lot of dating apps have a category for those who just need that.

Good luck out there! Exciting times ahead.

DCCougar 01-10-2020 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrDB (Post 6261787)
Great advice to take your time and enjoy an element of freedom....

Meanwhile, have a little fun at OKCupid.com :D

Steve-arino 01-10-2020 08:46 PM

I got divorced 9 years ago at 55. Teenage kids, etc. But it was the right move for my ex and I.

A friend introduced me to meetup.com shortly after my divorce. I didn't know what it was and I hesitated to go to a "singles" thing. I went to a local "meetup" and meetup has been a big part of my life ever since. A meetup group is comprised of singles, married couples, etc. - really just people that share similar interests. No pressure. I've made many lifetime friends through meetup.

For example - I enjoy hiking. I can do a meetup search with term "hiking", find groups that are relatively local and simply join a meetup hike. I have two hikes planned for this weekend with same group I've been hanging with for 9 years. Ages run from 40's to a 70's.

When I lived in Florida I could not find a person to go with me for Indian food. So I found a group that goes to local restaurants and they happened to have an Indian place lined up. Done. I like to travel and I'm used to traveling alone. One of the groups in FL was planning a trip to Europe and I went with them in the Fall of '19. Two of them had an argument and went back to the USA but - with a smile on my face - our rooms were paid for and I had a single for the rest of the trip :-). It all works out.

I agree with the other comments - don't worry about dating at this point. Really too darn stressful.

If you have any questions please pm me and I'd be glad to try to help. I'm not very good a playing guitar but I feel like the Lenny Breau of the singles life :-).

Mr. Jelly 01-10-2020 10:30 PM

Most guys I know of that have experienced your dilemma at about your age get hooked up with a forty something with a couple of kids. They raise them and maybe have one of your own. Then retirement becomes only something friends and acquaintances do. I'm just saying ÖÖ.


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